Wednesday, November 13, 2019
Wednesday, September 18, 2019
If you are anything like me there’s a lot of noise in your head at any one given time.
We often run worst case scenario’s over and over in our minds more than best case scenario’s. Sometimes we make up things that other people are thinking about us saying about us or reasons that something goes the way that it does, especially when it comes to pleasing my family! I admit I am a people pleaser… sometimes this is a strength and other times it is a weakness. I just really crave people being happy! Often it is a mission for me…
More likely than not, we have absolutely no idea what someone else is thinking we just like to think they’re thinking the worst-case scenario. Mind you I’m very rarely thinking bad things about other people. So, I am not sure why I take up time in my mind to think about what they’re not thinking about me. It’s that struggle with self-confidence type of thinking that someone is always thinking negatively about me. I hate thinking that someone is disappointed in me doing something incorrectly or not to their liking. Sometimes that gets me in a heap of trouble at home when I automatically think someone’s thinking something that they’re not. It can really make me defensive, moody, and sometimes just not pleasant to be around. Even though there’s nothing for me to feel this way about I create an illusion in my head to often justify the negative things I am thinking about myself… the whole negative self-talk scenario.
This morning I had great intentions of getting a lot accomplished and everything falling into place trying to prepare for a trip to go out of town in less than 48 hours. What all do I need to fit in, buy, pack, get ready for my house sitters, take care of the animals, clients etc.! Let’s just say life happens and lots of stuff went wrong this morning, but not a single thing was that BIG of a deal, but still got short with my kid on the way to school and ended up crying. It’s so easy to get inside my head and try to figure out things I could’ve done better to make it have worked out any way other than it did. However sometimes shit just happens. And it’s beyond our control.
NEWS FLASH- We are not perfect, and it is silly to think we can be or can control what is!
Stop analyzing everything!!! Sometimes I waste so much time analyzing things I forget about the here and now and the things we can accomplish if our brain wasn’t in the past trying to find a what if. I saw a couple friends running into the grocery store this morning for a few things, and it reminded me that we are all often in the same boat trying to fit in perfect in our lives, time for ourselves and our girlfriends, that woman/mom stress relief time to bond and connect. Over-stressed, overworked and feeling like we must accomplish everything with some impossible deadline instead of just going with the flow. Often God or the Universe has different plans than we do. Stop trying to correct what is supposed to be and embrace it! Move on push forward. Fresh start. Be happy from here.
My friend was telling my son the other day that her and her daughter had a funeral for perfect. Plan one for your perfect… celebrate that funeral and then bury perfect and just enjoy life as imperfect as you are!
Wednesday, August 21, 2019
I know I know that sounds two-fold and super confusing! So how do we really know we are making the right decision. I don't know if we do until we take that step sometimes. I try my best to lean on God and prayer to help me make those decisions... Sometimes these decisions are not a permanent change but a stepping stone or a learning experience. Life is a journey you know, and we should constantly learn and educate ourselves...
Recently both Paxton and I have had opportunities presented that may or may not take us to new heights, new experiences and successful pursuits. You might think that door open means that you have to walk through it!
I am hear to tell you that as much as I would like that to be the case, his opportunity presented him with a chance to make a step in the forward learning and growing process, mine however dangling like a carrot and something I may have had thoughts of pursing in the past or maybe even in the future, just doesn't align with the decision I made this year to lessen my load, to put more emphasis on my true goals and my dreams, writing, riding my horses more, spending more time enjoying my family, watching my son pursue his goals. This "opportunity given would give me a chance to help more people, but it would also make a heavier load that I don't know if worth the trade for time and money. Am I capable of the challenge, you better believe that I believe in myself 100% on this opportunity that I COULD do it, but I also believe in myself to know when it is the right thing to do to say NO. I don't feel at this time I could commit 100% to this pursuit and therefore it isn't fair to those who would be affected.
I do love helping people and I love that God calls me to serve others, however sometimes there are limits as well as timing issues. I am grateful that others believe in my abilities enough to be presented with these open doors, however prayer, talking to people who have done what you are presented with and writing down pros and cons and discussing things as a family, can lead you away from the open door in front of you. And with that I must leave the decision I made and move forward.
If you are not going to give it 100% commitment or you can't, just reconsider doing it. Follow through with your pursuit for the maximum effectiveness.
Don't Bunt.... Hit that Dinger.
Monday, August 5, 2019
Day 4 of my journey to be a healthier me!
The start to a new week!
I have decided that nutrition is definitely important! Making better food choices is definitely important! Working out more consistently doing something you enjoy is an energy and mood booster, For SURE! Having a list of go-to foods when grocery shopping and preparing to always have a healthy choice verses a convenient choice at my fingertips. I have never been a soda, junk food or fast food junkie… I just don’t eat routinely, and sometimes I may have a few too many bites when taste testing making sure my meals are savory and well received… also, I think I have mentioned I love to bake things. Banana cake and vanilla bean ice cream are my favorite sugary treats and I love pasta! But I also love fruits and veggies – which when most people “diet” they have a hard time trying to like things they don’t to make changes… I don’t need to be convinced to like those things… just to choose them over the pretzels, the pasta, the brownies and the wine… by the way… the wine isn’t on my toss out list!
This isn’t a change for a while… it is a change forever… but with this change I can guarantee if I don’t let myself have what I want occasionally it isn’t going to stick. I’ll be the first to admit I need to cheat, or I won’t be able to beat this habit of inconsistency. I can commit to working out more! Enjoying the things I like to do like swimming, rollerblading and Pilates and not forcing myself to try things I hate like running or going to a gym.
Let’s be real people, I am not interested in lying to myself and completely switching to flour free, dairy free, sugar free, mayo free lifestyle! I just can’t do it! I was a sickly kid growing up with lots of limitations on what I could eat- My mom sent along my own Sara Lee pound-cake to birthday parties so I could too enjoy something with the other kids as I had allergies to 38 different foods when I was born, I grew out of this eventually and sometimes I blame the lack of control as I developed a better tolerance of these things as I aged ( I say some things still upset me but I don't have the severe reactions I once had) on what I eat an enjoy on being deprived of it for so many years. I cannot commit to never eating a piece of pizza or enjoying normal pasta, Dairy Queen, or my favorite banana cake! Committing to change 100% is an automatic set up for failure, maybe I will never be model material (face it guys I am 40 with a short torso anyway! And did I mention I like to cook/bake and eat!) So let’s say I am going to commit to 95% of my week making better choices and 5% allowing myself to have what I want… but tweaking it just a little. Even when eating my healthy home cooked choices which we do most of the week on a regular basis anyway, I just exercise a little better portion control… sometimes I don’t think we realize we eat when we sample, or have seconds… I will take smaller portions and less samples to make sure it is “good”. I will eat consistently so that I don’t eat all day and then eat too much at night!
When I cheat or go out to dinner I need to remind myself that I can’t ship my leftovers to the starving kids in Africa, so I need to stop feeling guilty for leaving them on my plate to be thrown away, when I am full I need to put my fork down and not eat like I will never have access to this savory food again! I can choose a small plate of nachos avoiding seconds, 1 piece of pizza and a couple wings instead of 2 or 3 pieces of pizza, I can order pasta and eat 1/3 of it choose a mini blizzard instead of a small- and definitely not ALL of these things on the same day! LOL!
I am here to tell you if you make unrealistic, unreachable goals for yourself no matter what you are trying to achieve you will not succeed. I have known this in other aspects of my life and not sure why I haven’t applied it to this one! I am an instant gratification person I want what I want when I want it and losing weight hasn’t been any different, when I get an idea in my head I want to see it out and I really don’t like to wait for results! In some things it great because I don’t procrastinate but in others, I get impatient and tend to give up if the results don’t start to show quickly. I need to take this one day and step at a time and be patient with myself. Instant results don't usually lead to long term results as you can bounce back to your old ways quicker than you can form a new habit!
I am the first to tell you I am an open book, For years in Real Estate I have shared my failures and my successes with those who want get into my type of business… I do not hide anything that has or hasn’t worked for me, because you know what… what works for me may or may not for someone else. I feel like no one can really steal my ideas and show me up or take over what I have worked hard to establish, we don’t have the same personalities or delivery methods, besides there is plenty of business out their for all of us. A lot of Realtors are super successful doing open houses, I am here to tell you I hate them, I don’t really like doing them and it is not part of my business plan. I do them occasionally out of obligation, because I am a full-service Realtor I do on occasion, however I would find another agent to do them 99% of the time!
Do YOU! Find what works for you! You will never be able to follow someone else’s plan and make it work for you fully no matter what they try to make you believe! I don’t have the same body type, style, metabolism or desire of the Master Nutritionist I went to see, but that doesn’t mean I can’t take her tips, tricks, dietary choices and discipline and incorporate what works for me in my life. Use your resources, ask for advice, shadow people you look up to, but make sure that you take what you can get, take other’s ideas, learn from those who are successful but with every means possible create your own plan and goals.
“Be yourself; everyone else is taken.” – Oscar Wilde
Wednesday, July 17, 2019
I think the only thing routine in my life is my morning coffee- and I have even shaken that up a time or 2 giving it up for Lent. I don't feed my animals at the same time everyday, I don't do laundry or clean my house on the same day every week...The point I am making is that I love when things change, I can do anything that I need to do if required, I am adaptable, but I am not a huge fan of routine, I like spontaneity, I like accommodating last minute changes, I crave new things, new experiences and meeting new people!
When the market was horrible and I took a 3 year job that required my same day punch in and out… I got stir crazy, I was unhappy sitting in the same desk and I did everything I could think of to go back to my unpredictable, every changing world of Real Estate and I haven’t looked back. In a nutshell I probably would have been diagnosed with ADHD as a child- but as an adult I can use it to my benefit. I can move from one project to the next and back and I always seem to get things done on time no matter if I procrastinate. I love to be busy, I love challenges and I am not a routine person. I don't sit still for very long very well, I am honestly shocked that I can enjoy a whole movie at one time. I don't have any particular tv series I follow, I change my hair color often, and when I try something new and get bored I move on without hesitation. Probably why I don’t stick to any work out or eating plans… I get bored, EASILY! That is why real estate is definitely right for me… not predicable, always changing, every situation is different, even situations that are similar have different outcomes- I love balancing different deals, different people and different circumstances. I am constantly working with different personalities! I LOVE it, it keeps me on my toes and I am still helping people, which I truly believe is what I am called to do, Serve Others!
So this year, when I didn’t have a role as a PTA board member anymore, I didn’t have any deadlines to meet, I didn’t have the commitment to get things ready for the beginning of school, or be there to sell things at Meet the Teacher or the first day of school meet and greet… I was not prepared or motivated to get started and honestly didn't even go to meet the teacher, School gives me anxiety! Contrary to popular belief, even though I did well in school somewhat because I was smart and somewhat because the stuff I didn’t get I made a point to do well so I didn’t disappoint myself. School gives me anxiety for my kid as well.
Every year I hear the moms and parents talk about how they can’t wait until their kids go back to school, some are pulling their hair out even before our already short summer is over. I am over here praying that the summer isn’t over, I hate the routine. I love having my kid home! The anxiety of getting Paxton up on time, having to get him to school on time, stressing over getting him to brush his teeth, what is for breakfast, what is for lunch and to get his shoes on and making it out the door without forgetting something- and if I have an appointment early getting myself ready, the animals fed and doing things around the house if need be. Knowing I only have so many hours before he has to be picked back up and trying to fit everything in between. Finding somewhere for him to go if I won't make it home It totally stresses me out! Some of you are probably thinking I am a crazy person, but I would rather have him home and take him with me wherever I need to go, which most of the time I can.
75% of my life is mostly made up of me making my own schedule, being flexible for clients, having to change things to accommodate others and not really sticking to a set schedule…Believe me, I work hard and most people don’t even see what goes into real estate behind the scenes- but a lot of it I can do when I want, where I want which doesn’t work for everyone but it works for me. So yes, I am that mom that gets anxiety when I must go back to a routine like my kid going back to school…
I know he already hates school and trying to shelter him from my anxiety really doesn’t work. I am not good at hiding my emotions and sometimes my lack of excitement for routine and his resistance to wanting to go to school clash and cause unwarranted arguments, and maybe even yelling before school! This sucks and just causes more anxiety!
This school year my goal will be to take my mom’s advise of taking 3 deep breaths before reacting, trying to remain calm that I am not going to get my kid to like school no matter how hard I try to get him to see the value, so I may as well just stress less, go with the morning flow and find the positive in my struggles and my anxiety of being late or running behind, because in 5 years we have never been late even once.
Monday, July 1, 2019
To an extent I believe in fate and to an extent I feel our choices create the series of events that happen in our life. If I never chose to go to college in Arizona I wouldn't have met Steve, I wouldn't have had Paxton - I would have a different series of events that have happened to me in the last 22 years. Sometimes good, sometimes bad, and most definitely learning experiences, but not the ones that I had. I got scholarships and I had choices as to where I wanted to go and what I wanted to do, but if I would have made different ones, I would be in a different place with different circumstances. We could sit back and do nothing and hope for the best or we can pray, we can ask for guidance and we can believe in our path and create our future- by taking actions that align with our goals, our purpose and our passions.
You can go through life or you can grow through life (- Chuck Fazio) you get out what you put in.
Don't sit back and let someone else write your story, but don't do it blindly. Have a why, a purpose and a misson/goal, ask for God's guidance and input, and have a plan!
We all have a purpose here on earth, find yours. Associate with people who build you up, have like interests, have succeeded in areas that you want to excel in- Be coachable, be flexible, stop comparing yourself to others, BE YOU and do it well. Make your story count and be confident in your choices. Seek Guidance -
"The heart of man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps."- Proverbs 16:9
Monday, May 20, 2019
As this school year is coming to a close, I am wrapping up 4 years as President of my son's school's PTA, 4.5 years total as a PTA board member, 5 years serving as a member.
I am a mixture of emotions as I really did enjoy my service, working with great people, learning from others, developing new programs and implementing new things with the help of other members over those years. It was fun, adventurous, challenging, stressful at times.... but I am so glad that I was able to stick it out, even after trying to give up my position twice to allow someone new to have the opportunity to serve.
I was honored to be asked to extend my 2-year term, twice... which I accepted and kept going forward being that go-to person. However, this year after much consideration I stood my ground and said that I was unable to go another year. Not because I didn't think I could, or that I wasn't wanted, but because I need to move onto other things. Not only for me to grow in other areas but for my family as well. Being this involved with one task that is a volunteer position took away from time spent. I did it for my son as being involved I feel he has a good experience with his school, and to meet new people and build relationships ( I have always been a server and volunteer it is my personality to help) but all the planning, preparing and meetings as well as being in charge of events does take a toll on focusing on other things of interest.
This last 4 years has been a huge commitment, one that I didn't take lightly but couldn't just pick and choose when I wanted to help or do things. I was in charge, I was there when others couldn't be, I had to organize and make sure others followed through. Things in life change and you must change with them and the commitment that I was giving proved to be less than 100% and that is definitely not my style. When I commit to something I want to give it my best and when I can no longer give something my best because I have other things to focus on that is when it is time to hand over the baton to someone who has the ability to focus on the task at hand.
I am grateful for all the awesome people who helped with all the things we did, the acceptance of parents and teachers of my abilities to serve their students – All the support I received and all the well wishes. I am grateful for all that was accomplished, and we were able to buy, start or get donated for the well-being of the school and the kids!
I am grateful for the experience; I am grateful for the school admin and staff that supported our ideas and efforts and made it that much easier to give back. Which is one thing that always makes me happy, making others happy!
I am saddened to give up the opportunity to be so available and known around the school as the go-to person as I have gained the trust of a lot of people. And I am relieved that I can just be the mom who helps when she wants to and is now able to put other interests first instead of on the back burner because of the amount of commitment the PTA has required. This step forward is coming at a great time and I am exciting for my new adventures.
I wish the incoming board and all those in the future the best of luck, the opportunity to start new things and incorporate into the school and I am certain that they will continue on the things of importance that I helped incorporate that are beneficial to the school, but also the ability to see when things need to be changed or let go because they are no longer working! I am also here for any advice if I am solicited for some.
I encourage everyone involved at the Anthem School to take a part in the 2019-2020 school year whether that is small or large, a $10 PTA membership donation, helping at an event, coming to meetings, giving ideas, planning events, getting donations, encouraging your friends to help or any combination thereof! It does make a difference no matter how small and your kids receive the ultimate benefit. They grow up fast and those little things to build their experience always add to the experience they have preparing them to be adults.
I am proud of my accomplishments, my dedication, my learning experiences and my relationships made during this period of service, coordinating the chaos, the multiple smiles, happy faces, grateful people, fun moments, laughs, stressful times, last minute changes and all the other things that came with the job and that makes my service, well served.