Monday, April 9, 2018

A humble kind of confidence

I am a pretty humble person… I enjoy serving others without a lot of hype about me. Over the years with all of my accomplishments academically, my writing career, published book, real estate awards and community service contributions… I have had to get use to some public praise. Now aside from my mom’s cheerleader like attitude and her constant praise of me over the years, the public displays of praise make me very nervous inside! Honestly it may not show on the outside but when all of these public displays of accomplishment, awards and cheering occur, my insides turn upside down. I am super embarrassed, I can’t often grasp that people put much emphasis on the things that I have done or do. I am serving God and others and I am happy to do it, I am dedicated to doing my best at everything I do and I am not sure that I feel that is something to be majorly rewarded for. Do I like the occasional pat on the back? Yes, yes I do, however I do feel most of the things that I have been awarded are unnecessary as I do what I do without expecting anything in return.  In fact after winning 40 under 40 from the Young Professional Networks (this is a real estate sales and community service award) 4 years in a row, this year I was nominated and didn’t even apply… and yes, I am still under 40… 1 more year in my 30’s and looking forward to what 40 will bring. I know what I have accomplished to receive this award so many times and I didn’t feel my sales volume or my community contributions this past year far excelled any other year that I have won and I wanted to sit back and open the opportunity for someone up and coming to showcase their accomplishments… helping others succeed is important to me. I love to share my secrets, what worked and didn’t work for me over the years and help others discover what they are good at and give an example of what they can and can’t accomplish if they just apply what they learn in a way that works for them. All of us are unique and have something to contribute to others.
Sometimes we lack the confidence that we need in order to be successful at what we do because we are trying to remain humble.. Sometimes we confuse confidence with arrogance and ego.. This does not have to be the case. There is a happy medium where you can be confident in your choices, proud of what you do and still serve others without the flash and sparkle of constantly being in the spotlight, but try to understand that when the spotlight does occur you can be thankful that what you are humbly doing to serve others is making a difference otherwise you probably wouldn’t be in that spotlight! The easiest way to accomplish this is to first remember why you are doing what you do… put the reason first- my reason is to help others and serve the goodness of God in everything I do. If sometimes our lives don’t seem as “good” as someone else we know, we are then comparing what talents and tasks God has given us to that of another person and we can fall victim to our negative thoughts of not being “good” enough… what is enough? Enough is not a number or a material possession but it is a way of thinking and feeling. We might think, if we are doing “better” than someone else sometimes we are too arrogant or prideful which can cause us to not perform at the best of our ability in order to not seem like we are showing off and this can also put us in a slump. If someone else’s life seems harder than ours are we entitled to feel pain, suffering or disappointments or will we look like whiners? This is when we need to turn our attention to God’s plan for our life… not our friends; our neighbor’s a celebrity, or that lucky person who just won the lottery! None of that should be measured against any other person going through something completely different than we are! No matter how our mind thinks we should be as good as, as lucky as or as rich as so and so… we do ourselves a disservice by comparing Remember it is in our nature to be caring.. to ask, how is she doing? How is he doing?This is what makes us good daughters, mothers, wives and friends. However it is not ok to ask how is SHE/HE doing compared to us.. we can get tripped up if our question intent is to compare our life to someone else for measurement.
 We need to Focus on God and the plan for our life and accept our challenge as an invitation to a greater success for ourselves. Enough is not a number you obtain it is an attitude you cultivate. God does not call the qualified, he qualifies the called. What are you called to do? How are you tapping into your unique talents and abilities? Take some time to listen to your heart to find out, or if you know what it is you should be doing… do everything you can to use those talents for a great good.
Each of you must examine your own actions. Then you can be proud of your own accomplishments without comparing yourself to others. Assume your own responsibility. -Galatians 6:4-5


Tuesday, April 3, 2018

A Servant's Heart

I got into Real Estate not only to have a flexible schedule and be my own boss so I could have kids and spend time watching them grow up... but to help people. Fast forward 16 years. I have had my ups and downs over the years in this profession, but it is truly rewarding when I am able to see the excitement on people's faces, the thrill in their voices and the positiveness of their mannerisms when they find the house that is meant for them or they sell their home effectively and are able to move onto the next adventure.
If I said that my journey doesn't come with any disappointing moments or deals I would totally be lying to you and myself. It also has its ups and downs. I am saddened when someone loses out on a home they thought was meant for them, or when the deal is sabotaged by the inability to close on the loan or when someone decides after spending time looking, inspecting and appraising and they just decide to back out, whether it is cold feet, intuition or a lack of self confidence that they can make their dream a reality.  Sometimes people list their home for sale and really aren't meant to move, they think they need to to fix a situation, but the Universe is telling them it isn't the right time and they take their house off the market. Whatever the circumstances are, I am left hard worked and unpaid, as just with any other commission job, I don't collect until it records and closes and the people move in or out. I often spend money, time and energy and come up empty handed. This year I have had more than my share (in my opinion) of these occurrences- buyers who get qualified and really aren't - sellers who decide to stay or even clients with cold feet and personal circumstances that they just don't follow through with their actions. It is easy to ask "why" do these people even have to come into my life if I cannot help them... but am I? In some way we were meant to connect.
Yes, I cannot survive and pay my bills on free service, however, I am always reminded that there is a reason why people come into our lives and the circumstances, lesson or "chance" meeting is not by chance- somehow one or both parties was suppose to contribute to each others life even if the end doesn't fulfill my monetary need.
God called me to serve people, be humble and make a difference and that doesn't always equate to extra cash flow, but He does provide for me when needed. Not everything in life is a need. Most of the stuff we have are wants. We may say we need a new pair of shoes, a car or a new rug... when in fact if we have those things already, we are far better off them some people are who have far less if any at all.
I am able to recognize that the girl who broke up with her boyfriend, threw up all day and decided that she just didn't feel comfortable buying the house on the last day of the inspection period when she was still able to back out, even though she said she knew she was giving up a good deal on that home was not meant to follow through. But her feeling or intuition must be stronger than my conviction to sell her that home and I don't convince her otherwise. Whether she buys a home next month in 6 months or in 3 years, I talked her through her struggle to recognize what was best for her and her family and helped her back out of buying a home that could have been the biggest mistake for her personally at this particular time in her life and that is satisfying to me.
Sellers who realize that selling their home will not permanently fix their financial situation, that the home they live in is beautiful and makes them happy- downsizing was what they thought would make them happy when truly they are happy right where they were at. These are the things that make me realize that my job is to serve others and making some money along the way is a total bonus but not always the reason I am brought into these people's lives- and I am ok with that.
I am true to my my talents and joys, and I let life help me with the rest. I have the power to thrive under all conditions.
What is truly right for you must ultimately serve others. 

Sunday, April 1, 2018

Renewed because I have been Redeemed!

Hello everyone! I have been locked out of my blog for awhile now and haven't been able to figure out how to get back in, I have used that as an excuse to halt my public writing sharing my feelings, insecurities and accomplishments with most of the world, but in all actuality I have used it as an excuse not to write through my problems and recognize what I am most good at, writing and reaching others while healing myself. 
Twenty-five years ago today I sat at my kitchen table as a new 14 year old, doing my math homework waiting as my parents prepared some strawberry shortcake for a weekday birthday celebration. As I plugged away at my work the phone rang. I remember immediately telling my mom that it was about grandpa, I knew in my heart that he breathed his last breath and that was the phone call to declare my thought was true. As my mom picked up the phone I cannot tell you how the chain of events happened next except I knew after years of struggling with the dreaded cancer word, he was finally free. Free of pain, free of struggle, free of burdens... he had went home to live with Jesus. 
Today, 25 years later, my 39th birthday on earth and his 25 birthday in Heaven happens to fall on Easter, something that hasn't happened for the last 62 years. 
My grandfather lived a life of trial, tribulations and triumphs and still found his way to eternal peace in Heaven, that I believe deep down in my heart that I will see him again some day. 
Some of my family/friends may know I have struggled personally over the past 6 months. If you can relate having the sense of people surrounding you yet somehow you feel alone! Doubts, fears, depression, sadness, sorrow, pain, emotions that have filled places that I didn't even know were possible, places that have been filled with happiness, joy, hope and celebration in the past were consumed by such negative self depleting thoughts. My escape when this happens is to busy myself with other things to fill the gap or pain. But when my business slowed down, my life  slowed down and my mind really took a hold of the void I was feeling losing my mom, my best friend. She filled so much of my life with things that no one else ever will. I have experienced death over and over from a young age, very important people to me. I have been trying my hardest to pull through these crazy feelings and emotions, and have tried even harder to hide it.. to put on my happy face, be positive and go on about my day, which consumed and overwhelmed me so much, I was not myself and people took notice, but most of all I took notice that I was somehow different.
A recent post from a past client - thank you lovely lady, reminded me that we all struggle at times, maybe not all in the same way, with the same issues or the same fears and doubts but everyone does in some way. Life is not always sunshine and rainbows... and you know what that is ok! Just because I have a down moment, period or section of my life journey does not mean I am a failure, a loser or destined for only negative things to happen in my life. It means I am human, I am a little lost and I need some guidance. Where do we find this guidance but in God himself, in the promise of our future and in the presence of His mercy and grace. Without that we would be lost forever, but because of that we are instead his sheep that he reigns back in when we slightly astray. 
My grandfather knew for years I was a busy body, I needed to be constantly moving, hustling, and keeping busy... as he wrote a poem about it when I was little. He loved to write poetry and he was darn good at it. I have written a lot of poetry, short stories, blogs and even 2 children's books!  Today I thank him for giving me the gift of writing, for sharing this day with me as our "birthdays" He will forever have a special place in my heart. 
As we celebrate Easter today, remember you are loved, whatever your struggle is, whatever you are going through whether good, bad or ugly. Be renewed today in the fact that you are a child of God, you are worthy of a life everlasting, no matter how you may not feel you deserve God's ultimate grace. He sent His only Son to make sure that you are not forgotten you are not alone and you are Redeemed.
 May you feel a sense of refreshment and renewal in your life today and remember yesterday was the past and tomorrow is in the future and all you have is today. Make it count. Love God, love others but don't forget to LOVE YOURSELF. 
Fear not for I am with you... Isaish 41:10
He has Risen Indeed! Luke 24:34
He doesn't promise a life without struggle, He promises eternal life- John 2:25

Tuesday, August 29, 2017

Am I teaching my child respect?

I was sweating like a fiend today as I helped my hubby unload the heavy pitcher's mound and other baseball equipment from the truck to trek over to the field. It was a stagnant hot with NO air movement at all and my head was drenched... I can thank my mother and grandfather for that! Crazy sweaty people! Sometimes genes are not my friend. Anyway, I was hot, and let me just tell you, I may not be the most "happy" person when I am hot, I am not always grouchy but things can really irritate me more easily at these moments. As we are setting things up getting ready for practice to start and before all the boys got there, the three of us are on the field and here comes a pre to teenage boy riding his bike right past us and onto the field where we are about to practice. Steve looks over at him and says "Don't ride your bike on the field okay, " The boy rides around then rides right past us to go out the other gate, looks at Steve with a grin and in a very sarcastic tone says "You're Welcome." Wow, I totally wanted to be that kid's mother and slap him in the face. No joke. I was so aggravated at his response to an adult asking him to not ride his bike on the field, the field we were obviously using. I look right at Paxton and said if you are ever disrespectful to an adult like that I will beat your little butt. Honestly I am not a discipline hitter, I am not, but I was so mad that this kid was so disrespectful that that is what came out of my mouth. At my own child... He proceeded to ask why since the kid said you're welcome was it being disrespectful... So we had a quick little lesson in always doing the right thing, sarcasm and responding to an adult with a "oh, I am sorry" and moving on... not a smart a.. comment like the boy gave Steve. He quickly understood what the boy did wrong. It was a good teaching experience. However, on my way home I contemplated if respect is something you teach or model? I know that we have always told Paxton to respect his elders, respect others by being kind, considerate and polite. I was really curious what the definition of respect was... so I looked it up. In every definition it talks about admiring another person because of their achievements, abilities or qualities. In a way when we talk about respecting others how does this really play into total strangers? It is hard to admire someone you don't know right? So then I questioned if I knew the meaning of admire! Hmmm... so I looked that up too! regard- (an object, quality, or person) with respect or warm approval. Varying Levels of Respect. We live in an indifferent world. As a result, people treat each other with various levels of respect and, sometimes, total disrespect. You may have behaved respectfully or disrespectfully to others in front of your children. This in my opinion displays that respect is modeled, not taught in most cases. Our children learn from our behavior. Yes, we are human and yes, we make mistakes but we really need to be careful what message we are giving our children because they are like little sponges who absorb and want to do everything like us, because they respect and admire us... So next time you are quick to have road rage, make judgments about people, talk negatively about others in front of them or become disgruntled... remember you ARE the model, in most cases they are wanting to be. Think first what you want them to hear and see. Ephesians 4:29 ESV Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

Thursday, August 17, 2017

No Picture RE-takes, just pick me UPs!

Do you have ever have one of those weeks where it just seems like all kinds of crazy stuff is going on? Where nothing seems like it is going your way? Things crumble, you aren't doing something right, you have more frustrations then you care to count, people are throwing curve balls right at your head? I know that I have and I am sure we all have at some point or another. We CANNOT always control our circumstances, but why do we have to allow our attitude and our self talk to go in a negative direction? We DON'T, but we often do. When life gives you trials, hiccups and stress, sometimes we turn to all kinds of things to "fix" our sadness, hurt, or despair. We vent to others in all directions, sometimes we are so mad we talk negative about other people, we crash our healthy eating plan with the instantly satisfying but not quite gratifying treat or beverage, maybe we whine, we cry, we go over and over in our head how we were wrong or how the situation could have been different and talk ourselves down or make ourselves the victim or even the cause... guess what? None of this is helping! This behavior doesn't help and it doesn't fix the situation. It was delivered to us just the way it was. We cannot change it, we cannot erase it and re-record like videos today, or pose again for the picture we didn't like so we only post the best one. I will spare you the details of the multitude of things that I have been posed with, upset about or have been thrown at me since last Friday, somethings I cannot share anyway. However, I will tell you that not a single one of them should change me as a person, except in a positive way. Not one of my frustrations defines me, not one of them is even life-changing or terminal! So then WHY in the heck am I so quick to allow them to even enter the thought closet in my head and take up space! Seriously... there are things that need to be dealt with in life but they don't need to take up anger, worry or self doubt in my mind, they just need to take up the space that offers solutions. I had a few encounters this week that have turned my negative attitude into one of total gratitude... it is my goal to always be a positive person, find the good in all situations and move forward, however sometimes this isn't the way it goes and I need to be rescued from my own destruction. I also need to remember that God has my back and he alone should be the one I turn to in faith and hope when I am feeling like I can't get my happiness levels back on track. When people are concerned that you are acting out of character you know you are in trouble... I had to ask myself if I was allowing my circumstances to offer suggestions to others that I was not living my life in the way I preach but in a way that was reflected and something negative and bitter? Totally out of character for me... and people were starting to notice! Sure sign that something must change within me to reflect the true me on the outside. The positive started to turn back on in my brain with a Tuesday morning coffee talk with a local pastor who as I spoke to him about my service to others, my goals and my fears triggered not only his positive response but my purpose restored. I had a lovely day with my Minnesota Mamas yesterday who whisked me away for a girl's day... with lunch and shopping, good vibes and even gifts... gotta love being spoiled once in awhile, especially when you love to spoil others most often, it is nice to get back when you least expect it. Good news from my son's teacher in the middle of the day that he got 100% on a reading comprehension, reading is not his strong suit and knowing how proud I felt that he was "getting it." This deserved a surprise present from me when he got home... I truly find joy in other's reactions when you give to them! It really warms my heart. I came home to a husband also bearing a gift... I have been complaining for the last 3 times I have made waffles how annoying my iron is no matter how much I spray it... it sticks, the batter sticks and the boys end up eating waffle crumbles. A brand new waffle iron. So maybe it was partially self-ish... so he could eat better waffles that stay together and not have to listen to me whine and complain about it while trying to make them... hahaha... but nonetheless thoughtful! I enjoyed a mom's dinner and some conversation with some great girlfriends last night as our boys went to youth group and was blessed with some extremely kind and motivating words from an amazing cancer survivor this morning who is an inspiration and I am truly excited to get to know better this year! I need to remember that I alone should be able to change my attitude, happiness and thoughts as those are all things in my control... but sometimes we need those pick-me-ups to get us back on track and they were delivered at the right time and for this I am grateful... what can you do today to be a positive pick-me-up for someone, and who can you turn to when you need one. Remember we ALL experience these days, weeks and periods of time where we need a pick-me-up so remember sometimes we also need to be the one to do the picking up for others! Be a joy, be a blessing, give a smile no more stressing... Harmonize and harness your energy to your advantage and you will get more of what you focus on. God's grace is immeasurable, eternal, overflowing, perfect and lavish yet free. Undeserved, enlightening, incomprehensible, glorious, and divine, yet available. It is abounding and astounding, God's grace is amazing. You must embrace it.

Thursday, August 10, 2017

Ridiculous Pillows! A LOVE LESSON.

How many times have you gotten irritated at your spouse for doing something that just isn't what you expect? Or you don't feel like they did it "right" or the way that you would have done it if you just did it yourself? You asked them to do something to help you out, lighten your load or make you feel better! I know that I have and I guarantee Steve has gotten irritated with me on numerous occasions when I have been asked to help out and it doesn't go exactly as planned or I do something in a different way then he would, likewise when I ask him for something I am easily irritated if it gets done but not "right"! What is "right" you may ask yourself? If we are so concerned as to whether it goes the way we want or turns out like we planned... why are we relying on the other person to carry it out or complete it as we would? Why are we placing the expectations we would otherwise place on our-self, on our significant other? Honestly the only way to guarantee something is done my way, is to do it myself- If I want to delegate and have other people help, I have to be willing to accept their way of getting it done. Not everyone accomplishes the same thing in the same manner, with the same attitude or outcome. After all we are attracted to that person because they complete us, not necessarily because they think like us... and if they thought, acted and did everything just as we would I think I would be pretty bored pretty quick. I had a great conversation with a friend who made me reflect on thinking deeper why sometimes there is a deeper why than we give credit for. A friend of mine who is pregnant confided in me that she was really frustrated with her pillows and couldn't get comfortable or sleep so she asked her hubby if he could stop on his way home from work and get some new pillows. He did just that... he brought them home happily ready to make her happy and she hated them! Not exactly what she was hoping for and no more comfortable then the ones she didn't like they already had, not what she was hoping for and a little disappointed in his choice, in fact she had found a pillow she previously had that she thought they all hated and used that and slept all night! Go figure right! The most hilarious part of the whole thing is not only her not liking the pillows knowing that he probably (knowing guys) stood in the BBB aisle for at least 30 minutes or more trying to find the most perfect one, and it wasn't! ( I know that my husband isn't often the most romantic person and that is ok, but that whenever I receive a card from him it always makes me cry because not only are the words perfect on the card he picks out but I know he probably read 30 before he picked one, so that it was just right, it would be easy to get irritated that he spends $6-$8 on a card sometimes however it isn't about the price to him but that he is expressing in the card what he might not be able to say-that is love.) When she later shared with me that he spent... get this, $300 on pillows... yes 2 pillows for $300! I know you are probably like WHAT? That is absurd... her thoughts exactly... but it wasn't the $300 he spent on 2 pillows that is the LOVE lesson learned here. It was the LOVE that he had for her and her comfort that was top priority in his mind that made him think the more expensive the more comfortable and happy his pregnant wife would be. Isn't that what love is all about? Putting the other person's needs before your own, even if the outcome isn't what you hoped for. I think we are often to quick to get irritated, upset or frustrated with our spouse for an idea, decision or choice that is not our own, without looking deeper into the WHY! Sometimes no matter how absurd, outrageous or silly something can seem to our senses... it really reflects much more! Take the time to know the WHY, be grateful for it, praise it and embrace that we are all usually putting forth the effort to LOVE, support and encourage one another through love... and even though the outcome isn't what we want or expect... the WHY means so much more! So next time you are quick to get frustrated or upset at something you asked your spouse to do that they didn't do "right", stop, reflect on the WHY and say thank you for their thoughtfulness... that doesn't mean you still can't return the ridiculously expensive pillows. Love bears all things, believes all things hopes all things and endures all things. First Corinthians 13:7

Wednesday, June 21, 2017

My biggest Fear!

Have you ever been asked what your biggest fear is? A lot of people fear dying. I am comfortable enough in my faith that I don't fear dying, myself, I fear other people dying. Oh, don't get me wrong, I am completely on board that everyone has a time that they are to be called, everyone has a purpose here on earth and even a mission that once fulfilled they are able to cross over to Heaven and receive their eternal reward, whether it be a few short hours or a hundred years. Why do some people live longer than others? Why do some people have to suffer and others go peacefully in their sleep or die instantly from an accident or injury? I really don't know, and I really don't have the time or energy to figure it out... I just trust that there is a reason. I have had friends and loved ones die after suffering, I have had them die in their sleep with no warning, and tragic accidents. Is my fear selfish? Yes, it probably is... as a human left here on Earth the concept of that person no longer here with me to talk to, bounce ideas off of, laugh with, share things and love... I ache in my soul for them. My mom lost my dad at the early age of 45, 2 of my friends closer to my age (I am 38 btw) lost their spouses early and almost instantly... no chance to say goodbye, left with children to raise on their own. No one ever expects to lose their life partner at an early age and to be left to pick up the pieces, cope, move on with life and expect to be happy and fulfilled. God has a plan that isn't always our plan... no matter how much we try to prevent things, live a good life or control our circumstances... we just CAN'T. A few days ago I experienced all the emotions, fears and worry of the thought of losing my spouse. A little trip in the backyard on a piece of pipe sticking up created a fall, a stuck toe, a twisted ankle, a dislocated bone below the knee, anxiety, sweat and finally an unforeseen bout of passing out, when I left the room for less than 60 seconds to fill up a requested glass of water to come back and find him on the bathroom floor hunched over snoring as loud as could be... thoughts raced through my head at an uncontrollable speed, "how did he get from sitting on the edge of the tub to the floor, did he hit his head, was he is a coma, how did a dislocated and scraped knee turn into an unconscious hump on my bathroom floor"... emergency panic mode set in... I shook him to no avail. He wouldn't come to... 'what was I to do?' I ran to my phone in the kitchen, yelled for Paxton who was in his room, tried to calmly (which I sure tried, but sounded like crazy scared mom inside my head coming out) asked Paxton to get on his bike ride to the neighbors and have him come right away, he started to panic, I told him that dad would be fine (while inside I had absolutely no idea if this was true) and that he should pray the whole way to the neighbors. I dialed 911... while going back into the bathroom finding my husband still unconscious, continuing to shake him, call his name yell at him, whatever it took to bring him back to me and give me the relief that I needed that we could go forward with the plan I had for our life. While talking to at least 3 different people who couldn't understand my address I went from snoring Steve to Steve grasping for a breath and stopping breathing for a split second which seemed like 20 years in my mind. I was getting ready to lay him down on the floor to see if I needed to give him CPR when he started to shake slightly, again thoughts raced through my mind... "is he having a stroke, is he having a seizure?" I had no idea. I was a CNA for a short period of time so I have a little medical knowledge but when it is a loved one I think sometimes all your knowledge goes out of your head, and I was still in the middle of yelling at 911 who couldn't figure out my address... "don't phones have GPS location these days! GEEZ." My husband can look at products on Amazon on his desktop computer and somehow they pop up as ads on my cell phone through Facebook or when I google something for crying out loud... how does that happen and 911 can't figure out where I am! I NEEDED them to just know where I was and come STAT! As he was shaking I realized his shaking was bringing him back to me not setting him further out of my grasp. (for those of you concerned, passing out is some people's body's way of coping with trauma or shock.) I had never had someone pass out on me before, especially since I left the room briefly I had no idea what I was experiencing, all I knew as it didn't look good. I didn't feel good, but I needed to stay calm and sane. I was relieved and scared all wrapped up into one package. In hindsight I got the fact that him passed out made him snore and having sleep apnea caused the deep loud scary snore and moments of him not breathing. He woke knowing where he was, what day it was and what happened to him... he also said he was dreaming... Geez dreaming, he was experiencing LALA land as I was freaking out! WHAT?! But racing through my mind was the immediate fear and thoughts of an accidental trip and fall in our backyard would lead to some complication or the worst fear I have someone else's death. I am not ready for that, I am not prepared to go through this at this stage in my life, but who is? Not my mother at 45, not my 2 friends who lost their spouses in their 30's with children to raise. I have experienced a lot of death in my life, I have come to terms with losing a best girlfriend to cancer when I was 10, my father, grandfather and godfather when I was 14 all within 4 months of each other, friends, all my grandparents and my mom... I am no stranger to death but I also never seem ready for it. Never prepared and always the fear lingers in the back on my mind what happens next. So yes, that is my greatest fear.... loosing my loved ones. It is amazing how a small little trip and fall can turn into having such a huge milestone in my life one to make me love and appreciate this man so much more. To be grateful for even the hard times, the annoying attributes, the differences we have as well as the love we share, the friendship we have, the understanding, the commitment and the ability to remember to make it fun, enjoy the small things, take the time each day to touch each other in a loving way, give compliments, laugh at your mistakes hug longer, don't be in such a rush, don't let the little things bother you and choose to be happy! Enjoy the people you love as if it is the last you will see them... it just might be. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 4:6-7 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. Colossians 3:14 Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5