My goal this year as I have written before is to be more present.
This includes being happy NOW, not after I accomplish something or gain
something or do something great. I remind myself every day. I did a live panel
interview this past week about Mom's in Real Estate, (you can watch the
playback on my facebook page) The topic was Sports Moms and balancing work,
life and play. I spoke about how the constant uproar of my career... (no matter
how much you schedule or look for normalcy- life happens, opportunities come
along, someone wants to see a house that wasn't scheduled, a home inspector
only has a certain slot to fit you client in, you work, you schedule, you
reschedule based on priority.) What is your priority? Not everyone's priorities
are the same. Yes, money pays my bills and often I do schedule and reschedule
things around that potential money and a lot of times I schedule around my
kid's schedule! Sometimes I am distracted by the tasks and opportunities that will
bring the money for my bills, my family and of course my pleasure.
On the show one of my fellow RE
Mom's mentioned how sometimes it is hard to take off your hat when your life is
so intertwined. Are you a business owner or employee, a wife, a mother, can you
take off a hat and put on another when the important client calls when you are
listening to your kid talk about their day in the car after school, or are you
layering your hat to fit everything in.
Real Estate when you are
in it full time is not an M-F 8-5 job... even for those Realtors who give you
the impression that it is, there are always exceptions. People are off and want
to see every possible house they can on a weekend to find "the one."
Sometimes that means you are pulling 6-8 hour days, on the weekends, when the
rest of your family is off. This is definitely a trade off for other times of
the week that you are free to pursue other things, to go to the games, the
awards ceremonies, eat lunch with your kid at school, have lunch with your hubby
in the middle of the day, make appointments without having to ask off from a
guaranteed paycheck job.
This Real Estate thing is not a
guaranteed job with a steady paycheck ...you can put in a lot of hours and work
and never collect for those things. I have lost 6 deals this year alone
and it is the first of May ( I am not excited to tell you this, however
it is real, none of which were my fault, just circumstantial but still the
effects of what I thought my take home would be and what it was, can mean the
difference between paying bills or digging in your savings account or counting
pennies).
At the end of the day... I LOVE
what I do, I love connecting people to homes and to each other, I love
connecting with people and building relationships, and honestly... even in my
humble "helping people ways" I know deep down that I am good at it!!
And that is what keeps me going, in the down times, in the hard times and in
the lost opportunities... I have to stay focused, remember my why
(MY FAMILY) and say to myself... Dani, you LOVE what you do, and you ARE good
at it! People love you and want to work with you, you are a unique individual
and what you do makes a difference, you help people and people benefit from
your interaction! It is not arrogance it is confidence and there is a true
difference. I am an outgoing individual who can just about make friends with
anyone, strike up a conversation and build a relationship that with some
nurturing and follow up will last. And I definitely have my insecurities, more
than I would like to admit sometimes.
I am not a center of attention or spotlight kind of gal... I actually
get very nervous to speak in public... whether it is at a PTA meeting in front
of a small group or on a LIVE Facebook show or panel of a room full of people,
teaching a class or giving a presentation my insides actually turn upside
down... I get nervous and sometimes nauseous- " do I sound dumb? do I look
dumb, do I have something in my teeth, how is my body language, are they
critiquing what I wore or how I speak? Yep this all goes through my head every
single time. I am not sure why as every single time I have had compliments, or
been told I sounded great! It is amazing what our own insecurities can do to
us, we are harder on our self then often the rest of the world is. But we
perceive the rest of the world as constantly trying to find our faults. It is
often in our head, we make up stuff that we think the rest of the world is
thinking… what a waste in our energy as more than likely nobody is thinking any
of it! If they can be our cheerleader why can't we be our own.
My neighbor Tami and I went to
see I Feel Pretty last night with Amy Schumer, not only was it a good laugh,
light and silly it had a very good message about how no matter how you look,
your shape, your size, your status, your career, we ALL have some insecurities,
we all pick apart our weaknesses and play upon how and why we don't deserve to
be happy. We will be happier when we accomplish this or that, we will be
happier when we are skinnier, or smarter or richer or famous or won some award,
or conquered some task or found the right boy... no, YOU and you alone chose to
be happy and you can do that right where you are, right now, right in this
moment... Happiness really REALLY is a Choice, your circumstances do not
determine your Happiness, YOU DO! Chose NOW!
As little girls we didn't worry
about such things, we were happy, things made us happy we loved people, we did
silly things no matter who was watching, we loved the sunshine the outdoors,
the day to day life, we were taken care of we were often sheltered and
protected from the harsh world. As we got older and more responsible we somehow
went from what we knew inside ourself and thought of and trusted to listening
to others and society and media and schoolmates and co-workers on what is
"in" and what is acceptable and popular and our thoughts of who we
are and what we think everyone expects of us to be- this changes, we start down
the road of self-doubt and self-loathing and a new found lack of self-confidence.
And from what I see it is getting earlier and earlier for kids these
days.
We are all unique individuals,
we all have something to contribute, we need to put our foot down, stop
comparing ourselves to others, build each other up and not only hone in on but
put our talents out there for the world to see instead of trying to create
someone else's! We have the option to shape young children and adults future
images of themselves by really having the confidence in our own, showing that
what we do well, what makes us happy and how we portray our happiness and lives
to others really shapes that young mind.... Do we want these young minds to
have the insecurities we do or do we want to be the positive example that we
are all awesome and have something to contribute, we are all able to look
different, sound different, express ourselves in various ways as long as we are
putting out a positive message, contributing our talents and strengths and
believing in our self and our abilities instead of focusing on what we lack
that someone else has, what we think we should look like or sound like or live
like... It is definitely ok to learn more, grow more and strive for more, but
be happy where you are, in your skin and illuminate every good thing you can
offer and you will be the example and a happier form of yourself. It is more
than ok to have goals. We all have a time limit on this earth... if we wait for
more money, a better job, a better car, to lose 15 lbs, to be recognized, to
finish our education or to find the right mate in order to be happy we may
never make it before our expiration date and what a waste that would be.
As in the words of my favorite
respected Authors Jessica Weiner " Life doesn't begin 5 lbs from
now!"
Start today, Believe in Yourself, Be Kind to Yourself, Love
Yourself….
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