Whine and Wine

When my kid whines and he often does, at my age a glass of wine occasionally is necessary for me to unwind as some may say, after a long day. After a weeks vacation with as many as 8 kids in and out at one time there was a lot of relax time deserved. Pulling different kids who are customary to their own environment to an environment of a little house in the woods where it tended to rain a lot and they seemed to need constant entertainment- for 11 days. There was a lot of arguing, unfairness and whining that was had. But a lot of fun, excitement, happy moments were also experienced. I say kids will be kids! No matter how hard we instill in them to be selfless, grateful and good... no matter how much we pray or hope that our children will be excellent role model kids... they just sometimes aren't. Sometimes I feel as a mom that I really needed to get that instruction booklet from the beginning, you know the one that tells you how to handle every single situation you encounter with your kid... what to expect, how to react and what to say and do to make them a better child... oh wait, I forgot... you don't get one. This is a test, this is only a test... if you pass you will go down in the record books as Mom of the Year... if not you are doomed. Right? Sometimes this is how I feel. How do I know I am making the right decision, reacting in such a way as to be the authority figure, influencing my child to be the best they can be, disciplining where I should appropriately and choosing my battles wisely... Guess what I don't, none of us do. It is all based on experience, the personality of our children and what works and doesn't work for them and us. We are yes in control of our own emotions and how we chose to react to a situation, but we are all human, every one makes mistakes, things can happen and forgiveness is key. I firmly believe our roll as a parent is to develop and lead are children into a promising future as adults who are capable of living in a society that is ever changing. Kids will be kids, kids will whine, kids will feel something isn't fair, kids will lash out, talk back and test the waters. Our goal is to help them learn from situations... as I said to be an adaptable, loving, caring adult... not to be the perfect child. Today, I pray that I will focus on making my child learn from his experiences, how to mold himself into a proper, loving, caring, considerate, selfless adult who can contribute his talents to the world going forward and serve God and His people with gentleness, love and forgiveness in all situations, to see the bigger picture and find the positive in all circumstances. Proverbs 22:6 Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.

Adding to the List

Even as an adult I am constantly adding to the list of things I never knew I was already suppose to know...if you are anything like me I get the opportunity on a daily basis with my career to be involved in an ever changing marketplace where all situations I come across are different in some way. I think that is what I like about real estate so much. It is always changing, a way to meet new interesting people, a way to help out in my area of expertise where other people who are buying and selling their own homes just do not excel because it is not what they do every day, for a living. A way to keep learning and evolving myself. It is a compliment to know that they trust my expertise, my knowledge and often times my judgement to lead them down a path of the unknown and hopefully better educate them for their future. Not only clients but colleagues who are going through similar yet unique experiences helping buyers and sellers of their own. Yesterday on two separate occasions I was reminded that no matter how new you are to something or how long you have been in your field of expertise... you may not always know the answers, you may not always have to be the expert. An agent I am mentoring was going through a situation with her client, the lender and the title company where it was down to the wire for closing and the figures on their settlement statement were in excess of what the lender was allowing for the buyer to come in with to the closing table so that he may purchase his home. The title company representative had a strategy to try and alleviate or move around the figures that were making these non-allowable costs. Did the mentee understand what the title person was telling them... not really-did she feel she should in order to help explain to her client what was happening, probably- that is what makes a good agent- always putting the client's needs and understanding first! It is hard to understand something like this when you are so new at what you are doing. A good title company person may assume that all Realtors should understand this but the best way to handle a situation is to assume you are the expert in your field, but that not everyone is and shouldn't be expected to fully understand what you understand, therefore take the time to assume that they don't, have the patience to explain it and know that everyone processes information in different ways. I have been in the business 14 years and I still don't understand why lenders sometimes allow and don't allow certain costs to be paid by a buyer- even though they are allowable in a contract. Have I had similar situations, yes, exact situation, no. I was only able to reassure my mentee that if the title company person was confident in what they would discuss with her buyer than she should be reassured that she doesn't have to totally understand what is being expected of the client- just trust that the title person knows what they are doing, has had similar situations with clients before and will be able to explain to and work out what the buyer needs in order to get the deal done. To reassure her client that the title rep is the expert in the field and that what he is asking of the client is in the client's best interest. The agent herself doesn't need to know everything... just trust that the people she is working with know their part in the transaction. Similarly later in the day after running errands and moving trailers. I was home helping my husband load our trailer. Earlier in the day I dropped off a flatbed trailer and my husband reiterated that I needed to leave the hitch that was on the back of our truck at my sister and brother-in-law's home, that the pin might be a little harder to get out I might have to really push on it... our hitch was in the back of our truck. After dropping the trailer in front of their house, taking the pin out of the hitch and removing it, I placed the pin in the hitch and handed it to my sister-in-law. I got home, hubby went to hook up the trailer and he said "where is the pin." "What pin?" I said. " The one that was on the other trailer hitch," he scolded. "Ummmm, I left it with the hitch that you told me to leave there." " The pin stays with the vehicle not the hitch" he disgustedly walked off in search of something in our garage- assuming because he knows this everyone else should! I wanted to yell at him that "how the hell am I suppose to know that, I just did what you asked me to do, you didn't say- "make sure to take the pin!" I stopped before reacting and getting upset- in my head I was completely frustrated (now why on earth would I know something like that! Why would it even cross my mind that a pin for a trailer hitch belongs to the vehicle... I am book smart with a college degree, a great real estate career and wrote a children's book... I do not excel in the hands on mechanical world "that should be common sense." I offered to go collect it at my SIL's house but he was determined to find another one laying around. Did I raise my voice just a little when I responded that "I am sorry I didn't know that, no one had ever told me that before"... yes, I am sure I did- Woman tend to emphasize things when they are trying to make a point! He in the meantime found another pin and the world was right again. Not sure I wanted to experience the affects of not having an extra pin hanging around. I silently thanked God he found another one, that I didn't react like I really wanted to in my head (which could have turned the night in a totally different direction), that I remained calm and thanked him for my new found knowledge (that I apparently was already suppose to know.) Long story short I took my 2 experiences and turned them into lessons. What I learned. Just as I say you can't always control how someone acts, but you can control how you respond. 1. Not everyone is an expert at everything, trust those who are. You don't have to know it all, no one should expect you to, when they do expect you to know it, it is a compliment, they are confident you are smarter than you give yourself credit for sometimes. 2. Don't expect others to know everything you know. Be patient in your teaching. 3. Daily opportunities unfold for you to learn new things, take advantage of this, constantly be learning and bettering your knowledge base. Turn your frustrating circumstances into lessons. Smile, be happy and thank those around you who create these learning curves. 4. Be humble, think before you react ( you may just save yourself a headache from a reaction that turned a minor crappy situation into something catastrophic) there is nothing worse then a little tiff (especially between spouses) that can blow up out of proportion and really could have blown over in 1/4 the time if you reacted differently! And just ask yourself is it worth the fight now, will you remember what it was even about next week? Let it go, chose your words carefully and move on. Life is short, life is precious, be grateful for the good. There is so much more good than there is bad, and when we focus on what is good and right... the bad stuff just fades away. 5. A woman's attitude is contagious. If she is happy, optimistic and upbeat, her family usually follows suit. If she is pessimistic and shows doubt and frustration her family will usually suffer right along with her. What message are you trying to give your family? What atmosphere will you create as an example? Add these tips to your list. Those who control their anger have great understanding; those with a hasty temper will make mistakes.- Proverbs 14:29 NLT

Finding Peace

Everyone comments how well I am handling my mom's death. That I am strong, focused and stable. Well, sometimes I feel out of control, reckless and abandoned. Sometimes I feel helpless, weak and mad. Sometimes I just want her to come back and tell me I am doing ok, I am doing it right, or even "girl, you messed up... what were you thinking?" LOL! Anything to hear her voice, see her smile, hug her so my world will be right again. But is my world wrong? This is true selfishness, I am certain. Why? Because as a human still here on earth I often forget that her ultimate healing came when she went to Heaven... it is not in my control when her time for this gift from God was meant to be. Grief is such a true process. At 14 when I lost my dad, it was a whole different type of grief is either one harder or less sad... probably not, just different. I don't know if you could ever experience the same thing as someone else, not even the same as myself for a previous encounter with one's death. It is all about who you are, where you are and how you react to the situations you have. I have two friends right now who are experiencing the ugliness of CANCER with their husbands. I can't begin to imagine what this is like. I can only compare it to the experience I remember when my mom lost my dad at the young age of 45. Robbed of that quality time that they so deserved, met late in life and the years spent just not enough. We pray for healing right? How many times have we read bible stories of people being healed or brought back to life? Why isn't this our loved one, why can they not be the "miracle" spoken of? It is not for us to decide. It is not for us to try and figure out. It is only for us to know that we still being here on earth have a purpose. We are meant to be strong, to keep going and to serve our purpose and use the gifts God has given us to touch the lives of others. It is so easy to be selfish, to crawl in that "hole" and just fall apart. I sent an article to a friend for encouragement and she responded that I was amazing... am I really? This is how I get through my grief, sure I can get upset, mad, angry, frustrated and depressed, I can cry, throw temper tantrums and feel despair, but ultimately, what gets me through each day is that I am here on earth to serve others. I truly believe that those who help others help themselves. How do I find that inner peace? How do I keep going every day even when I am knocked down... people ask me and I often ask myself. Last week after working long hours and many days for some clients, I had the unfortunate encounter that although we had found a house that worked for them, the amount of repairs needed to the amount the seller was willing to do didn't leave them with any desire to make the purchase happen. After showing homes to them again, they met me in person and confided in me that they had found a FSBO- for sale by owner- that would not work with a Realtor. They were devastated. They understood how much time and energy that I put into helping them find that right home... I was disappointed that I wasn't able to find what they had been looking for. They were unsure of my reaction. They didn't know what I would do, say or how I would feel. The genuine concern for my well being and reaction lead me to tears. (not necessarily professional, but genuine, nonetheless.) I was so appreciative of the fact that they recognized what I invested in them. I offered to help them with the FSBO even though I knew I would not be compensated. Why? Because my purpose in life is not to make a bunch of money to spend on things that I cannot take with me to Heaven where my Ultimate Reward will be waiting, my purpose is to journey through this life to prepare for that reward. Long story short the FSBO did not work out in their favor and I regained them once again as clients. What would have happened if I stormed off, if I bad mouthed them, if I got upset, if I chose to cut off all communication and be unhelpful, ungrateful or angry? I need to always be thinking of how my actions or reactions can benefit my future. I think I would have life referrals from them no matter whether they bought from me, or purchased the FSBO... because I chose to handle the situation the way that I did- I chose to celebrate their happiness and put my needs/wants aside. I wam agreeing that I cannot control what home is right for them and I have no reason to stand in the way of another person's happiness. I don't believe in burning bridges. I was asked by several people if I was upset, if I had them sign a buyer broker employment agreement that if they found a house without me they would owe me a commission anyway. I will tell you in 14 years, I have never once used this form. I understand I am not a charity organization and my time is valuable, but I was brought to that situation for a reason. I know that if I do my job to truly help someone and I don't force anyone to do anything against their will, even if I work really hard for them and invest my own time and money into them.... it will come back to me in someway and somehow. I love the career I have chosen, I love that my mom taught me a lot of what I know and how to treat people. I love that I am somehow, someway rewarded for my selflessness. Live by what you believe so fully that your life blossoms, or else purge the fear-and-guilt producing beliefs from your life... Live your belief, or let that belief go. - Roger John John 14:27, "Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid." (NIV)

To fix or not to fix?

Went up to the cabin for a little vacation now that school is out. We had a great enjoyable time, Steve and Norm helped build a planter out front and we planted some flowers to give the cabin a little extra. :) During the week we had some ups and downs. It is a part of my mom that I hope to hold onto for my forever, and be able to pass it along to Paxton some day. While up there, as kids will be kids, Paxton left his bike parked near the front of Steve's big F250. When Steve went to leave to run to the hardware store, he did not notice the small little bike and next thing you know... well, you know! Let's just say it wasn't the best day at the cabin for the Miller household. This was the last gift Paxton received from my mom for Christmas....She insisted she wanted to buy him a bike- me not knowing she would pass away a few weeks later. It bent the back rim and was no longer in riding condition for our little eager bike rider. Sometimes as parents we struggle between right, wrong, disciple and principle. What do we do? How do we react? What is the best way to resolve the issue, still teach a lesson but salvage what is sentimental? After all, kids do not come with an instruction manual. Each child being the unique individual they are, handle these situations in different ways, how do you pinpoint your child's needs? Life can be super short, I have learned that from an early age, loosing my 10 year old best friend to cancer when I was 11, my dad when I turned 14 and my mom this past January, with others in between. Can you still teach a lesson, instill fear, and repair the item that was damaged? That is a good question, and it may be years before we find out.. or never.. Apparently 18" rims for little boy's bikes are the rarest find. 16" and 20" all day long. We were quoted about $100 to get a new one and have it fixed. $80 just for the rim if Steve wanted to fix it himself. The bike cost less the $100 to start with. Do you punish the kid and make him go without a bike? He is 5, this is not the first mistake he is going to make, his bike is a huge part of what he loves to do outdoors. Do you fix it because it is sentimental and his grandmother gave it to him... (he will grow out of it eventually and not sure he is going to keep it around for sentimental value). Do you buy a new one that is one of the more popular sizes (and cheaper) but then it is like rewarding him with a new bike, for his carelessness... (but cheaper for mom and dad's wallet). Does he realize where he went wrong, is he remorseful, does he even understand? Awe, to remember being 5 again... highlights yes, feelings I do not remember at that age. Of all people, the biggest disciplinarian in his life, his dad, probably came out with the softest heart... He was able to order the part from the bike manufacturer, for cheaper than we were quoted anywhere else... it is on it's way- and hopefully it will fix it enough that Paxton can enjoy hundreds of more hours of ride time with it. Was fixing it the right thing to do? We may never know. I will tell you however, we will probably never find his bike or any future bike will be run over from his carelessness again. .

Inspiring stories

Yesterday we went to the Diamondbacks game at the very end they do a spot where the kids can run the Bases to raise money for Phoenix Children's Hospital. Yesterday afternoon they featured a little boy named Cash- Who had a rare disease where he would forget to breath. Phoenix Children's Hospital was able to provide him with a breathing pacemaker. I had the pleasure of watching this little boy run the bases after the Diamondbacks game yesterday. Afterwards I met his mom Tracey! What an amazing women to have to endure watching her little boy struggle and with two other children at home  to attend to. 

I feel so blessed to have a mostly healthy child. I feel blessed to be healthy myself and able to give back to my family and my community through the charitable things I do. I may be one person and I may not be able to make a huge difference but every little thing I can do to help others I will do my best. 

This morning I had to take Paxton to the doctor for a rash he developed last night and also had a bunch of work things - an issue with the PTA I am on- all things going on at the same time - seems like everything was hitting me at once- Sometimes it is easy to get overwhelmed, frustrated and upset or lose control of my emotions- sometimes it is hard to find the appropriate balance- it is at times like this I need to remember what I am going through is no where near as demanding- upsetting or frustrating as some other people have to endure. This is when I can re focus and direct my energy to do the things that need my immediate attention and delegate or push off the things that don't. We all experience times like these where we just want to throw in the towel- hide in the closet or give up- but if we take 5 minutes to collect our thoughts regain our composure - breath deeply and then take it one step at a time from there. 

Birthday blessings!

What a beautiful day to remember. I am grateful for all the people in my life who continue to make me feel special. Don't get me wrong it was hard my first birthday without my mom. She truly always made me feel special! I am proud that I had a mom who raised me to be a good hearted person. I am excited to raise my son and some similar ways she taught me. She taught me to love- no matter what- unconditionally! To be grateful for what I have. 

I'm grateful for my family and friends-  especially today as I don't know how I would've made it through without them! I know that I truly am loved. 

Some traditions are not made to be broken. Even when things change. 

I remember growing up every year my dad would buy me daisies for my birthday- my 14th birthday before he passed away was the last. 

Each year after my mom made it a point to get me flowers "from" my dad. And this year my husband and my son did not fail to carry on that tradition! Not just daisies but beautiful purple tulips too! I'm truly humbled by the little things that make me smile and cry happy tears. No amount of money or fancy things could ever make me as happy as this simple gesture. No hints I even had to give. 

A few days ago I learned about a good client/friend who passed away in an auto accident! No warning no preparation no chance for his family to say goodbye! Remember to be simple but live every day of your life with meaning. Thank those who need to be thanked- compliment others when appropriate -  don't forget to let people know how much you care for them- don't take them for granted. You just never know when they may not be there and you know longer have the chance. 

Happy April 1st to all! 

Ah Ha Moment via silly song

During my leadership training class on Tuesday, Heidi asked if we had ever had an Ah Ha Moment- a moment of clarification... I gave some story that was more about my character than a moment where it became clear to me that I could or should do something- maybe not the best example. Last week was filled with many stresses, frustrations and inaccuracies that I experienced, I am sure you have all been there at some point, where it seems something new each day or a few let downs a day. How do you get out of a slump of these happenings, how do you react to what is going on around you? Is it a domino effect? There were times when I just wanted to give in the towel, let someone else win or I was so mad I wanted to fight hard and waste my energy for something that wasn't going to change, no matter how much I felt I was right. Both giving in and sometimes fighting can waste more energy when a person's mindset is not in the right place. Sometimes venting and LETTING GO is all you need to move on and re-motivate yourself. Why rehash the same thing over and over again, why do we as humans feel this helps us cope- the more people we have on our side of the story- the better we feel, but do we really? This is life and we can't always WIN- but we can learn from our loss, failures and disappointments. I was feeling particularly lost the other day when I encountered a Real Estate transaction situation that I would normally have went to my greatest Mentor in the business, my mom, to get advise. I called around and got some other opinions but realized that I had the answer inside me. My mom may be gone now, but like Paxton says, "I can talk to her anytime I want"- my biggest disappointment is that she doesn't talk back... but does she? She gave birth to me, she raised me, she influenced me and she is inside of ME! What better answer could I reach then to reach inside of me and listen to the voice that knows right from wrong, that is intelligent and knowledgeable, that can be creative and compassionate and pull my answer from there. This morning I had that "Ah Ha" Moment... When Paxton and I were working on his flashcard site words for school. He has been getting hung up on the word that... 2 weeks ago he was caught up on "the" always saying "it" first when I would show it to him, that problem was solved when we read 3 books in a row together that all had a lot of the word "the" every time I came to it I would make him say it.. now no problem with the word. This week the word "that" was giving him problems. Today on the way to school I made up a silly song about "that" being a hat with a t... luckily I can't sing to you because you are probably more critical than my 5 year old, LOL! He knew the word "hat" and therefore I made it a fun song to remember, in the moment I started singing and he laughed, I realized that was my mom, coming out of me- for you see that is how she taught me many things in life- make it fun-relate it to something you already know...she often sang silly songs or made up phrases for me to remember what I was learning, for we all have the power inside of us to do the things we want to do as long as we reach in and listen.

Unspoken Gratitude

It has been several months since i have used my daily reflection blog to post my thoughts and feelings. I used my mom's caring bridge site a lot during her illness to not only keep our family and friends up-to-date but as my way of getting my feelings out there about the whole situation we were in and the experience that I had. I love to use my writing as my therapy of sorts. It has been a little over a month since my mom passed away. I have had every negative emotion that I could possibly think of in that time. Some more prominent than others. I have wanted to crawl in a hole, cry, throw things, break things, cry some more, yell at God, scream out loud, give up, fight, swear, vent about how life isn't fair.... and then I remember, I can chose how I react, like the eulogy I wrote for her, I can become bitter or I can become better. I can survive- or I can thrive. I can take my experience and I can make a message for all people. We are human, we miss those we lose, but we are still here, we have a purpose and I don't think our purpose is to be a victim, or be passive in this life. It is to take what we experience and make ourselves and others better because of it. I may be one person, but I can touch lives with my upbeat, positive attitude and love for those around me. I have had a few conversations with people regarding their lack of preparation for a loved one's death, to mothers and daughters or fathers and daughters who do not have a good connection or even a good relationship with one another, and it makes me reflect on even though I considered my mom my ultimate best friend and I feel cheated in losing her so young, I also know that I am grateful for the relationship I had with her for the time that I had and the preparation that I had for her eternal exit no matter how short lived it was. So I begin to live again through my writing, through my passion for my family, my career and my hobbies and thrust on forward toward the future that I will help create. Breath, Relax and Let Go- for we don't always know where the road is leading us, but nothing is a waste of time if you use your experience wisely.

The Courage to change the things you can

Sometimes in life we can not control our circumstances- we cannot change what happens to us, we can think life is unfair- we can have our pity parties or meltdowns and blow ups - but we must get over it and continue on. We must be thankful for what we have the good and the bad. Along with the ugly, the unfair, the heartaches and the pain, the love the joy the blessings and miracles. It is not our circumstances but how we react to, deal with and handle our situation. Can we turn our negative circumstances for a greater good with our attitude, our treatment of others, our kind words and selfless deeds? This is what shapes us to be who we are. I shared with a friend last night a few reasons why I have chosen to do certain things in my life - a huge percentage of them were from taking tragic events that have happened to me over the years and making them have a positive impact on my life now. Why do we do what we do? Because of what happens to us along the way. We as individuals have the choice to embrace change, negative circumstances, unfair events and tradegy and use them to produce positive results in our lives and in the lives of others. Don't let that thing that happens to you today sour the rest of your days enjoyment-or cause a negative chain of events due to altering your attitude to negative- have your fit and move on and enjoy the day to its fullest- you NEVER know when it may be your last. 

God Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change the Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference. 

Addition and subtraction

It is a simple lesson of addition and subtraction- we all learned this in school. Do you ever feel like you have too many commitments? You can't say no. You want to be everything to everyone? As women we sure are multi-taskers but are we ever multi-tasking so much we forget where we are, what we are doing next or who we are? I have said in the past, the busier I am the more productive I am. At this point in my life I am beginning to think this isn't true. What I once could do I no longer have the capacity to handle. Especially with ever changing needs of my family, relationships and goals. When new opportunities arise I find myself just adding them to the laundry list of things I am already doing. I am committed to certain things already but I have an interest in others. So instead of re-evaluating what I am already doing, eliminating the things that are no longer in line with my goals and expectations of myself, my interests, likes and hobbies, I just pile them on top of what I am doing so that I don't have to "quit" or disappoint someone/something that I am presently a part of. This can be self-diagnosed as overly engaged in activities that no longer suit the needs of your current situation, to the point of a mid life crisis nervous breakdown because you are expecting to much of yourself in order to not look like you can't continue to handle everything that you have said yes to. Sometimes these opportunities and commitments you make are temporary, like the seasons, they change with the changes in your life. When your life changes, when unexpected things happen, when your needs, wants, desires and familial demands change, you must change- it is inevitable. You cannot continue to do all the things in your life you once had and cram in more, pile it on top, heavy load. You must STOP- Re-Evaluate- Prioritize- and LET GO! What is working for you and your situation, your goals? What do you want to accomplish? What commitments are in-line with your present? Your future? The past is the past. You CANNOT be every thing to everyone. Who is your focus? What is it that you want people to say about you at your funeral? "she sure was busy, but she lost her mind there at the end." LOL! Seriously! Sometimes you can only say YES so many times before it can really effect your livelihood and then you are just plain a mess inside with a happy go lucky outward appearance that is a ticking time bomb waiting to happen. In a conversation over the weekend with one of my friends, we discussed the negative effects of keeping things bottled inside and allowing others to take advantage of us without complaint because it is easier to go with the flow then speak up. But somehow that bottled up inside comes out and it isn't always pretty. My goal this week is to focus on the things that matter most, the ones most beneficial to my progress and livelihood and my current situation- those that don't are going to be eliminated- not because they haven't helped me in the past or aren't beneficial, but because I just cannot continue to add and not subtract.

Why I became a Realtor because I just wasn't cut out to be a Seamstress.... tales of a do it all mom.

So, that would be an awesome book title I thought to myself a few nights ago as it took me about an hour to sew a patch in Paxton's backpack with his name on it! I thought of the patches for his backpack lunch bag and several jackets he might wear this winter at the last minute and therefore the girl who made them for me did not have time to sew them in. I took sewing in seventh grade so why not? Right? I GOT THIS! 

As women and moms we are usually willing to and think that we are capable of doing EVERYTHING  that is needed. To work, to run our households, to pick up our children, to get them ready,to laundry ,dishes, cooking and everything else in between. We also feed animals mend boo-boos, look for solutions, fix problems, repair things- create things, shop for their needs, pay bills, make calls, straighten out problems- the list goes on and on. I'm sure we never feel inadequate when something doesn't turn out the way that we think it should we can't fit it into our schedule. Because we are SUPERMOM right??? 

Always busy always something to do always trying to remember the things we need to keep track of so we don't mess something up. I don't know how many times I felt guilty about things that I've forgotten or haven't done because I have so many other things I'm trying to remember. I'm sure I'm not the only mom who has forgotten a thing or two. I should feel great about the things that I am able to accomplish. Lower my own expectations of myself- take my time and cherish my blessings. 

 Yesterday was a great reminder of this. When you're responsible for living beings you take total responsibility when something goes wrong. Yesterday was a sad day at the Miller mini farm. It  was starting to storm last night so I told my son to stay inside when I went out to feed the animals. Good thing because when I went out past the goats and horse out to the chicken coop and I didn't see them fluttering around- my first thought was that they flew away and my second was that some animal had gotten a hold of them. In walking up to the chicken coop they were all dead inside. My heart sank aching for those chickens and my baby that I was going to have to tell all his chickens died. ( so far at 4 a crab and fish have been all he has lost)  I ran back as fast as I could up to the house but not to panic anyone but to grab my husband without my son knowing what was going on. 

Later that night we told Paxton about what happened the record-breaking like heat killed his chickens. He was devastated it was a very sad thing for a four-year-old. Toulage,  Lulu, Buttercup and Chip when no longer. I wondered how they made it through last summer and not this summer they had plenty of food water and shelter what went wrong? Was there something on the cantaloupe they ate? Did someone poison them? The more I researched and the more I read online last night I realized the one thing I can admit that we did last year that we didn't this year- freeze water bottles and put them in their water so that the water remains cool. In researching last night the hotter the water gets the less they drink and then stop drinking so much in extreme temperatures can cause sudden heatstroke. I would love to say it's a lesson learned however it cost four lives. As a mom that is super heartbreaking because I could've prevented it. 

Will I beat myself up over it probably for a little-  I'm only human. 

But just as I am a real estate agent because I'm good at it and passionate about helping others and I didn't choose to become a seamstress because I wasn't interested and I'm not good at it it doesn't fulfill me- my sew job that I should have given someone else to do was poor but adequate-

 I have to learn to give the jobs that I'm not very good at to others so that I don't lack in areas that are most important like taking care of living beings that I am responsible for. Did my chickens have food and water yes- but I failed to provide accurate Cool water in which to serve them best which resulted in their death. 

Prioritize was my lesson learned. Stay informed. Do everything you can to protect those you love. Be prepared. Just because you're providing something doesn't necessarily mean it's the right thing. Just because you can do something doesn't mean you should take it all on or do it half-assed. 

Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely. - Auguste Rodin

What are you good at? What you need to get better at? What things can you find that others are good at to use to your advantage to have more times for the things that you can do? What responsibilities can you delegate so it's not all on your plate that things go wrong more often because you're overloaded? Make a list today. No one can change you only you can change yourself. 

Start now. 

Melted ice cream

My experience at Walmart yesterday was more than crazy.   I set out to have a successful price matching grocery shopping trip at Walmart yesterday to get ready for the week. Yes I'm one of those people. My son starts first day of kindergarten on Monday and I wanted to have all of the snacks and necessities to be prepared.  I had a huge list I also had my moms grocery list as well as some stuff I need for my business. That's already three transactions right there. All-in-one cart and definitely not as organized by the time I got to the register as when I started. Once in a while I think they definitely need bigger carts at Walmart. They have bigger carts at Home Depot why be discriminating at Walmart. Lol. 

Usually I despise shopping on a Sunday because of all the people that are there and They are normally out of stuff because their shipments coming on Monday and then I get frustrated! So I figured Saturday midmorning might be a good time. Boy was I wrong the place is crawling with people and the lines were long and atrocious. Not to mention I had ice cream in my cart. 

Don't get me wrong there are plenty of lanes open there were just a lot of people. I picked a lane that had three people in front of me. When I got in line I had an agent call on a listing that I had for details. As I was talking to him a clerk came over and asked me if I wanted to switch lanes. She took me down to 15 they said they just opened. There was one lady in front of me with very few groceries so I was happy. 

They had no dividers so I kind had to hold my stuff back so he didn't get confused and charge her for it. Remember I had three transactions! I got to the first transaction which was some ink and notecards that I could use as a business expense and pay with my business chargecard. Transaction smooth. 

As I pulled out the stuff for my mom's transaction and put it on the conveyor belt the gentleman was scanning her things- when I got to the fruit that she wanted he said "uh oh." 

Thought to myself uh oh what? Really? 

"Um ma'am our scale doesn't work for weighing the fruit." 

Definitely not what I want to do here in the middle of a transaction with a whole conveyor belt with all of my own groceries of fruits and vegetables needing to be weighed and two containers of ice cream sitting there melting.

 I had to to stop at my moms in San Tan Valley and drive to Florence where I live and guess what one minor detail I forgot to bring a cooler to keep the ice cream cold. Ah, that could be a problem when it is 104 outside. 

Yeah- I proceeded to tell the guy I wasn't getting back in a big long line and having melted ice cream and starting all over to purchase groceries, I am sure with a little irritation in my voice. 

I paid for what he rang up put the rest of the groceries from the conveyor belt back into my cart and found the manager. 

She proceeded to go to lane 15 and let the guy know that 15 was one of the ones on the alerts that they get a list saying it wasn't working. He looked at her like a deer in headlights. She seemed irritated that he opened that Register he seemed irritated that he didn't know. Communication is key people!

 There were lots of people behind me in line so they all had to get out and find new location. In the mist of all that I forgot to price match the stuff that my mom was getting that needed price matching is well. Total lost $2.58. 

The manager took me to another register where I proceeded to price match my own things and bring up the rest of my groceries- she flagged down a girl to go get new ice cream so that it was better and more frozen then what was already in my cart. Nice move. Go customer service! 

As we proceeded to get further into the transaction she realized that the debit card swiper on that particular system wasn't working. Ummm. are you kidding me? Somehow I'm being tested here. 

- i'm sure the lady thought wow is this lady going to explode or is she going to remain calm? I wasn't quite sure myself if I figured that out yet or not? Lol. I took a deep breath and dug through my purse and found a business checkbook with 1 check left.  Not that I wanted to pay for my groceries out of my business account- the last thing I wanted to do was put everything back in my cart and go to a new register for the forth time. So I made an exception. 

I said I would just pay with my business check and I can pay myself back when I get home- she looked relieved. 

She also said that I could go to customer service and get my $2.58 back from my moms transaction.  Another manager came over and authorized her to void and re-ring the transaction for my mom so that she could price match and give me the $2.58 back.  I proceeded to ask her how that would work and she told me, it seemed more complicated than it was worth and I thought it would take way too long. 

Mind you I just got new frozen ice cream-  however I was done. I just said you guys can keep your $2.58 and have a nice day.  She said are you sure? I said I hope your day gets better thanks- and walked away. 

I definitely could've blew my stack threw a fit got frustrated spoke to a manager complained complained complained. I chose right then and there to let it go.  I think that getting pissed would've taken a lot more of my energy than it was worth- and guess what shit happens! 

So next time you think you're going to get frustrated over some matter that's small or menial in the long run just ask yourself is it really worth it, or will it be better to just chalk it up to a crappy experience and move on??? You can chose. 

James 1:19. This you know my beloved, but everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger. 

Speak to your Kids

I just go back from a stellar Unleash the Power Within Seminar hosted by Tony Robbins. What an Amazing Guy using the Amazing gifts God has given him. Before I left my son asked me why I was going and had to be gone for 4 days. I explained to him that I was leaving to come back a better mother, wife, daughter (relationships) and business person. He said ok, cried a little...I promised my little guy a gift if he would let mommy go and explore her potential. The first day I was gone he talked to me about 4 times, the second day 2, the 3rd day 1 of which he said " Can you talk to dad now" I know that he can survive without me, but I sure did miss him while I was away. Coming home with my new found attitude, after delving into my limiting beliefs and what over the years has cause me not only these false beliefs about myself but a lot of why I do what I do and how I can chose to change that. It was an amazing adventure and I am truly grateful that I had the opportunity to go. I can't even describe all the emotions and discoveries I made. Each individual who attends I am sure brings something back to their normal life that is individual to them. It is up to each individual to CHOOSE to incorporate it into their life. When I got back my son was already asleep. Upon waking, as he remembered mommy was bring a gift- he sprung into my bedroom and the first thing out of his mouth was not "mommy I missed you, mommy I am glad you are home" but like most little kids it was "where is my gift?" LOL! He definitely wasn't going to let that memory escape him. Since I had only seen the inside of an airport, cab, hotel and convention center, I settled for the toy southwest airplane at the airport gift shop, he was pleased! He said, "Oh thank you mommy." The first day back I had a fully loaded schedule and didn't get the amount of time with my son as I would have liked to upon coming back. He said "that is okay mommy, we can spend time together tomorrow." - after a little bit of whine. I was truly grateful for his little positive reinforcement. Then yesterday as we spent most of the day together, he continually asked for more and more things as we went different places. He asked for every toy, grocery, sweet, snack and thing you could possibly imagine. Mommy wasn't about to buy him everything he "needed" just because she was gone for 4 days. So repeatedly I told him NO, he didn't need a certain thing, NO he didn't need sweets today, NO he could wait until his birthday in September and I reminded him I brought him a gift. Throwing a little attitude in the car he shouted, "I thought you said you were coming back a better mommy?" Whoaa... that got me. I had to ask what his idea of a good mommy was? He thought for a moment and stumble with his words. I said, "do you think being a good mommy means I give you everything you want?" He replied "yes." In this come to Jesus moment I was having I had to think quick as to how to respond lovingly yet with a lesson about how life is not about getting everything you want. Sometimes it is about the stuff you don't get that allows to shape you into the person you are, the circumstances that happen to you that change your life, to become better at something, to change, to realize your gratitude for the things you do have. I stopped and asked him to tell me 3 things he was grateful for right now. (this is a practice we do every night before bed as a family but we only each say 1 thing for the day.) He says to me, "Mom, we say that at night, it isn't nighttime." I answered back and told him that he should be grateful for what he has throughout the whole day, if he is constantly thinking and appreciating throughout the day, his day would be more enriched with what is going on in his life. He said, " my animals, that I get to play, and spending time with me." That last one really made me, as a mom, feel better about the situation and his selfishness of this day. You see it isn't about what we get or what we have or how much money we make. Some people make all the money in the world and are still unhappy, miserable or not satisfied. It is about what we already have, the relationships we make and the story we build every day that we should be most happy about. When we die we cannot take our money or possessions with us. What would everyone say about you if you died tomorrow? What would your kids say? "Mommy bought me a lot of stuff? or my mommy taught me to be kind, patient, loving and grateful, just as she was." Be an example to your children, your family and friends, because when you die what you did and what you said and the memories you made is what they will remember. Chose to have them remember the good. One of my favorites: Psalms 118:24 This is the day which the LORD has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.

Not wrapped in a package.

The best Mother's Day gift doesn't come wrapped in a shiny package with a beautiful bow. This morning I got a cute puppy card from my son. His "Mommy" handwriting on the outside envelope, and his Paxton signature inside. With a little help from his daddy interviewing him I received a heartfelt message of why he was thankful for his Mommy. With tears in my eyes for my hubby's creativity and my son's thoughts I was Grateful for it is the most precious gift I could receive from a 4 year old. A thank you from your children comes in the words and actions of the one who calls you mom. That special person that you have created,  loved and spent countless hours giving your time to. When they smile, give back, help others, show a display of something great you taught them. That is what really matters. The package gift or momento may outlive me as a mother but the person they are the person they will become is partially because of me. As a mom(or someone who is acting as mom)  be the best example you can be- give freely- complain less- let them find themselves with your help of course - find your common ground with one another- but be greatful everyday for all they have to offer in return no matter how small. It is priceless. 

Take the extra 2 minutes!

Sometimes in the hustle and bustle of things it's easy to get upset about little situations that occur to take more of my time or make me frustrated. Time is precious and sometimes we try to shove too many things in a day. Therefore when things don't go exactly as we think they should occur we often lose sight of overdoing in the first place-the why behind it. Reading my devotional this morning there's always a why behind something-that motivation the drive that causes us to be doing it. My son gets really excited when he can help- at four sometimes it can be frustrating to me especially when I'm in a hurry-everything he does takes just a little bit longer and is pokey to boot! Last night when feeding the animals he wanted to do it all by himself. This shows great interest by him but sometimes I lose sight of what he were trying to accomplish. My husband and I are trying to teach him responsibility and chores- right now he's at the most influential age because he's willing to want to help. I need to realize if we want to keep him interested in helping we need to have more patience when he's helping. He is four not in his 30s. His concept of time and "quick" is not necessarily fully developed! I did let him feed all the animals by himself but he did take up more of my time , and I definitely had to bite my tongue to say anything even though I had other stuff to do. This morning when making coffee and he wanted to help I realized as the coffee grounds were spilled all over the counter that getting upset now at four when He is most willing to help out might just push him to not help as he gets older. Therefore my advice to you as parents is to be as patient as possible let children learn on their own how to do things in their own time and own way don't get upset with the way that they are doing them now at the younger ages because it may just influence them in their attitudes when older. Bite your tongue let them get praised for being helpful and spend that extra two-five minutes it might take now cleaning up their mess when trying to help to have them develop into good and responsible adults once older. -dani

When in doubt LOOK UP!

The past few weeks have been a little overwhelming for me, hectic to say the least. I will spare you all the details of what has been going on, some good, some not so good and some really frustrating moments. This is when I start to have an inner struggle and things come out in frustration that may hurt others, because I am on overload, I may start to become UNGLUED! Not even thinking about what it is I say or how I react is sometimes a problem for me. I try as I might to carry the weight of my family, life and the all my clients on my shoulders. This I know that I shouldn't do but sometimes it is so hard to allow myself this forgiveness for not being able to do or get to everything. Sometimes I get an idea in my head and want what I want when I want it. I have lived in my home almost 12 years and trying to change or spruce up rooms without having to completely re-do the whole thing for mostly a time and cost effective reason... I decided the rug in our family room is in need of a big fat dumpster. Even after multiple cleanings with two big dogs and a kid it has seen better days! I have been looking for several months and finally decided to go to a store where some friends of ours said they got a real good deal on a rug. I had a hour to waste in between clients a few days ago so I went to check out their goods. I took several pictures of rugs and brought them home to show Steve. We picked one out. I went the next day in between appointments again. Unfortunately the one I set my heart on was out of stock and not available until March. SERIOUSLY! March? I NEED it before Sunday's Super Bowl party. With limited time the salesman and I looked through several other rugs and I picked out a couple more. I was leaning more toward one than another however I wanted to again check with Steve. I also bought flowers and a picture at Hobby Lobby to go with my new rug, that I could not have! Too funny! But the other two rugs did have some of the same colors. When I got home I knew I had a vase for the new flowers, which I wanted to arrange right away- Remember, I am creating my own sense of urgency which is just causing me more frustration! And the vase which of course I could NOT find. Really, go figure, because I wanted it right now! Needless to say I did get frustrated but had to leave to go to another appointment. After getting in a heated argument with my mom over something I honestly today can't remember, sometimes we do that. I am glad I have her to vent, forgive and forget. However, I probably should practice asking for permission to vent first which just properly sets her up for my rant because I doubt she would ever tell me NO she doesn't have time to listen. It is just the polite thing to do. Anyhow.. after a long day of frustration, closings, errands, multiple people pulling me in different directions, not feeling that I got to everything that I needed to, feeling guilty about not being home 3 nights in a row for dinner... I made it to bed allowing myself to realize that tomorrow is a great day to start again. When I woke up this morning I read my bible and daily devotional... (hmmm which I did not do the morning before), headed to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee I went to the pantry to shut the door which had been opened and there in the corner of the very top shelf was the vase that I had been looking for. My advise for you today is to be patient if you don't get what you want right when you want it, they may be a lesson in progress, WHEN IN DOUBT- LOOK UP! God blesses the people who patiently endure testing, afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. - James 1:12 NLT

Don't judge a Soup by it's Title

Sitting at lunch with some friends yesterday in Show Low it was chilly and soup sounded so good. I had my heart set on soup and salad bar and when I asked the waitress what their soup of the day was, she immediately responded beef and potato. My first reaction was to curl up my nose and make a sort of "really" face. Which I know she totally went in the kitchen and mentioned! Not sure why I reacted in such a way, I am really not sure what I was hoping she would say. I associated beef broth, some chunks of meat, a few potatoes and some really big thick onions. Not really what I was craving, even though I wasn't sure what I was craving. Long story short the soup ended up being more like a roast that my mom used to make in the electric skillet, thick with beef chunks, potatoes (hers had carrots), we used to soak up the juice with buttered bread, YUM! Contrary to my initial reaction it was so good I had to request my mom to make her roast this week- I now can't wait. I even pointed out to the waitress before we left that the soup was far beyond what I imagined and really good. So I try not to be a very judgmental person. Whether it is judging people or things. EXCEPTION ALERT! I am very judgmental when it comes to books- If the cover doesn't have it, I have no interest! Probably not the best way to judge a book by its cover, but I do! You never know about a person or a thing until you really get to know or try it out. You never know what will transpire from trying something for the first time, learning a new skill, meeting a new person who you can build a lasting relationship with, or help you somehow progress in areas you need developing! Just remember next time you curl up your nose at a new thought, idea, person or suggestion, be open to the possibilities of what may develop from it, and try it! I did and it was amazingly good. This is something we teach our children on a daily basis, if you try it and don't like it don't have more, if you try it and you fail, at least you know you tried, you never know what may be amazing!

Sparkle

As I continue to receive updates regarding my friend's cancer that has crept back into her life after almost 4 years free- a mom of two beautiful girls, a wife to a very loving supportive husband, a daughter, a sister, a friend, I feel like I have to HOPE for my future by living in my present. By enjoying what I have and what I am blessed with every single day. Disaster, depression, disease, anxiety, worry, death and grief can come into our lives quicker than we can blink an eye. They say that troubles in our lives can come and go. It is how we chose to deal with those troubles not the troubles themselves that really define us as a person. Trouble is a tunnel through which we pass and not a brick wall against which we must break our heads. - Claire Weeks Yesterday marked the 23rd year anniversary of the death of my best friend growing up of 10 years. We grew up across the street from one another, inseparable at times. She was diagnosed with brain cancer at a very young age. I always looked at her as a great example of a fearless person. Even though I never knew what was truly going on inside her as we were so young. She died at only 10. Looking back she was just so full of life, of love of compassion for others. Her silliness, happiness and lack of complaining even though she struggled every day to hang onto her life, shows me that through the little hiccups in my life I must keep going, I must be positive and I must carry on her legacy of touching others in a positive way every day. Count your blessings, be aware of the good stuff in your life. Let the frustrations, little burdens and unwanted actions of others, pass you by. Make an effort to see the upside of any and every unwanted situation and try to turn it around to be positive, don't compare your life to others, you never know what is going on behind closed doors, practice acts of kindness not only toward friends but complete strangers, a simple smile can go a long way. Don't take your loved ones for granted, they may not be here tomorrow, Stay active, be engaged, do things that make you happy. Savor life, write things down, take pictures. Make goals, take steps, commit and pursue them. Forgive others, let go of hurts, put the past behind you. Find something funny to laugh at every day, laughter is good medicine, laughter heals, laughter brings people together. God blesses the people who patiently endure testing, Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. - James 1:12 NLT Dear God, help me to focus on you when I struggle, help me to remember to stop and pray for my blessings and to know that anything I am faced with is little compared to what others may be going through and that with your help I will maintain stamina and move on past my fears, my temptations and my fits. Help me to Sparkle and be an example to others of what a strong, happy and positive person can overcome.

Beyond Anxiety

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. - Philippians 4:6 It was brought to my attention yesterday that a dear friend of mine, although thousands of miles apart, is in a fight for her life. How many of us can say our worry for tomorrow is truly life-threatening? No one has ever changed the future by dreading it. Leaving it up to God, we are so much better off. Living life to the fullest. Staying away from becoming a victim. I recently read a book called The Law of the Garbage Truck by David J. Pollay. In chapter 27 he tells a story about a lady named Kim, married with 2 young children. She was diagnosed with cancer, it went away and came back in other places a few years later. He talks about how she flourished despite her set back, despite her worry, despite her bad news, despite her fear of the unknown, of who would care for her children if she were to leave this world. That is what kept her going and focused on staying positive, keeping her sense of humor and ability to switch from sadness to gratitude on a dime! In situations like cancer there is something in our life beyond our control, we must be reminded to look for the greater things, to not let this disease dump on the person dealing with it or us as a family member, don't focus on the bad, focus on the good and greater things in our lives, you cannot afford to waste your energy on negative distractions. In the words of Kim- We all have issues, it is not isolated just to someone with cancer. It's easy to see the world through your own filter of "Oh my goodness, I'm dealing with cancer." The reality is that everybody's dealing with something that they feel is very important in their lives. And who is ultimately the judge. Which is worse? There is no competition. I wonder what tomorrow will hold. I know that I have amazing people in my life and that I am in great hands medically. By letting go of (most) of the fear and living my life with appreciation for everything I have- my husband, my children, my family and friends- I am a happy, grateful, pro-active survivor. Growing up I had a friend who passed away from brain cancer when I was just 11 years old. She was 10. We grew up together, like sisters, right across the street. Always at each others side. She was an inspiration to me. A positive bubble of energy, or happiness and gratitude no matter what she was going through. She was a light to other people. I learned from her early on that no matter what life throws my way, no matter what obstacles or set backs, I can be sad a little, I can be mad a little, I can grieve and be a victim but only for a short period of time, before I need to pick myself up, dust myself off and push forward. My friend now struggling with this almost 4 year remission of cancer to find out that she now has it in more than one location of her body is saddening. Reading her post was heartbreaking. I just saw her in October and she was so full of life and love and happiness! Her and her husband just recently took her experience and turned it into a positive, opening up a cancer resource center in their local town, trying to give back to those who fall victim to this devastating disease, to use her energy and her experience to show those around her that you can survive and how to survive through this ordeal. I am so proud of her and her accomplishments. It is easy to get mad at God sometimes in these situations and ask "WHY?" "WHY her God?" She is trying to help others. unfortunately, I don't think it is for us to understand the "why" sometimes. I truly believe God doesn't cause things to happen in our lives but sometimes he doesn't intercede. Maybe she needs to go through all of this again for those people that she has opened her heart and her center to truly relate and see how actively positive she can remain, we may just never know. I do want anyone reading this to please keep her and her family in your prayers. There will be lots of doubt, fear and stress, it is humanly natural, however I pray that their hope for the future, their positive attitudes and their appreciation of what is around them and their blessings will sustain. Take this today as a reminder to always be focused on how you can be appreciative in your life. How you can take your sour attitude toward something that just isn't quite going your way and flip it on a dime to a happier moment! Life may bring you lemons, but you can make lemonade! Sometimes the very essence of faith is trusting God in the midst of things. He knows good and well we cannot comprehend. - Beth Moore

Resolutions? Stop Texting!

Resolutions- There are a ton of them. Lose weight, get healthy, quit something, start something, change jobs, move, read more, learn more, go back to school and on and on they go. What do you chose? How do you chose? What can you stick to? Here is what brought on mine. "Mom, mom, mom, can you come watch t.v. with me?" whined my 4 year old at nearly 8pm." "In a minute, let me finish working." 32 seconds later, "mom, are you ready?" "No honey, mommy is still finishing up her work." "Okay, he says a little sadder this time." I continue to try and finish up texts and emails so that I can sit with him awhile before bed, wanting to wrap up as much as I can and reflect that I didn't miss an important email, or client that may need an answer before the following day. This time he gave me about a minute and a half. "Mom, are you coming in the living room now?" "Almost honey, I am finishing this important work." Sitting practically on top of me in my office chair, I am slightly getting annoyed while finishing up my work. Doesn't he know that if he just leaves me alone for 10-15 minutes I would be done and able to enjoy him, oh wait, it is 8pm at night. Geez, and I am still working, while most of my clients got off at 5 or so and have enjoyed being off for about 3 hours now. This is the setback that comes with the flexibility of the job that I have that allows me more time at home. I am almost jealous of the people who go to work from 8-5 with no child interruptions and then come home to no work related thoughts until the next day, just free to spend time with their family, and then I realize those people also miss out on the middle of the day field trips, the school programs, day award ceremonies, and so on and I remember how truly blessed that I am!Yes, it is amazing, but sometimes we sacrifice normal family time with our spouse, our children, our weekends, to have this flexibility and freedom, is it worth it, well in my opinion, HECK YES! However, it needs to have its limits and as a professional, who works for myself and can set my own hours, my own limits and my own expectations my clients have of me, I need to remind myself to do so and to not waiver, unless extremely necessary. What I teach my clients to expect of me, they will follow suit, if they want to use my services. I need to be confident enough in what I have to offer them to put my phone down by 7:00 on week nights and walk away! If I don't have deadlines that need to be met, a deal that is in need of negotiating with a timeframe in mind, or something that is a disaster and about ready to fall apart, I need to evaluate a little better what I can push off until the next morning, at 5:30 when I am usually getting my start! Besides making enough money to provide for my family and live a comfortable life, nothing that I do is life threatening, or so important that I cannot set a stop time to make room for my loved ones. In all reality that is why I chose this career in the first place, so if I am not carrying that out, it is really pointless. My clients expect me to be available to them after "hours" and on weekends, because that is mostly when they are free to look, to talk and to work deals. So yes, I do have to be flexible, and yes sometimes I have to alter my days or my work hours to accommodate them, because that is how I make my living, however, when a child is aching to spend time with you right before they go to bed and they finally come back for about the 7 or 8th time in 10 minutes to check and see if you are now ready to come watch t.v. with them, and they have to say, "MOM, you have been texting all day, STOP TEXTING!" you realize you need to walk away and make a better choice, because the little innocence of your 4 year old son, will be 10, than 13, than 15 and in college before you can blink an eye!