Blowing Out the Candles on Control

Yesterday morning didn't prove to get off to a great start. I put a lot of time and energy and money into something over the past year that did not prove to be successful and I needed to own the fact that I did my best even if there was no reward at the end of the term, but maybe there was? I often try to reflect on what I did learn, gain, or benefit from the experience, no matter how little it may have been. Little doesn't not mean it wasn't some significant benefit. I don't feel like anything we actually go through is a total waste of time. Our mindset makes it one, alter your mindset, change your life. It is all about perspective. 

This weekend we celebrated Steve's best friend's 50th birthday. A couple months ago he and his wife reached out to me with their plan and wanted to run it by Paxton and I and get our blessing to include Steve in the celebration! Their birthdays are a week apart. 20 years ago I flew him in from the East Coast where he was living at the time to surprise Steve for their 30th birthdays and we went and celebrated at San Tan Flat. Fast forward to now and we came full circle, just without Steve. Pax did a good job of blowing out his dad's candles because I know if he were still here those boys would have had a grand old time with him as well. Maybe a little older, maybe a little less energy, but wiser and more grateful for the chance to celebrate all that they have accomplished in the last 20 years and ultimately 50 for those of those who make it!  Like I said in my last blog, Steve is frozen for me at age 45. Neither he nor I will ever see his 50! But I felt a great sense of his presence there with his approval. I would tell you but it is hard to describe. Just trust me, He was there. 

No matter what life throws at me, I  am an upbeat hope filled women who trusts my hopes not my fears. I trust God has a plan for my life and He will make that plan known for me and use my skills and strengths that his has given me to serve my people. We as humans need to give up he illusion that we deserve a problem- free life. Part of us is always striving for a resolution to all difficulties. We are relying on a false sense of hope when we live in a world of trouble or turmoil. In church on Sunday the Pastor talked about how we often have the misconception about controlling a situation that is not ours to control and the more that we do that instead of trusting God the more you fall out of control and turn to things of this world to make it "right" instead of trusting that God is in control and allowing Him to guide you. We are all guilty of it, no matter what our pleasure. Whether it be drinking, drugs, food, retail therapy, gambling, or even worry and anxiety... etc. Nothing replaces His presence in your life. 

I want my son to grow up knowing that life is not without difficulties but we can still find hope, gratitude and peace despite them. The more I am able to turn to Him and let the disappointment of what I thought something should look like or the way it should turn out the more I can feel the joy around me and create a peace in knowing that someone above me has got this! We can question all day long but we have to trust there is a reason, even if we don't see it. I want Paxton to be able to control his mind to do this as well, it will surely enrich his life experiences. Whether you are encountering a difficulty at work, in a relationship, a death you didn't understand or expect, a why me moment... there is a God who has a perfect design already figured out we are living, there is divine timing that no matter how much control or exercise we force on a situation it isn't going to change what is. 

I wake up every morning asking God to give me the people who need my help the most, and maybe ultimately I don't get them to their end result but I trust that there is a reason we cross paths and something I did along the way will get them there. Sometimes you are there to teach them a lesson and sometimes they are to you. No matter what no experience I have encountered so far whether good nor bad hasn't somehow helped shape me for my purpose here, or my pathway to Heaven. You just have to Trust it.  

I pray today that you can Give it to God and live this life with your purpose, be mindful of your choices and decisions but also trust. Too many factors, people, and your environment affect your situation so no matter whether you trust or believe in God's plans you will never be able to fully control anything. So stop trying. I am not saying give up, or don't make good decisions,  just don't give yourself the power to control everything, you can't. When something doesn't go your way, reflect on your experience and lean into what did go right, or what you learned from it. Take a deep breath, rest in your takeaway and use it on your journey going forward. 

Consistency in Everything is KEY. God wants us to want Him. And when we realize that it's Him we want we become free. Longings, loneliness, and emptiness can not be fully satisfied by anyone of this world. Only Him. Seek Him first in all you do. Your life will change. Even if you have to chose it over again everyday. 

As the sunrise changes every morning, I may not know what the day brings, but I know who brings the day!