Dream BIG Smile On.

 

Growing up, I always thought my mom had a really pretty smile. And then over the years I know that she got self-conscious with her teeth and just shifting from life and stress she was a smoker for many years and I know that probably didn't help and I'm sure she grinded them at night and I don't think she ever wanted to take the time to have them fixed or spend the money. Probably more like she didn't want to spend the money. She was very frugal. She was one of those that wouldn't even buy a sweater if it wasn't on sale, loved thrift shopping, and when she liked certain outfit, she wore it out.  I argued with her all the time that she just needed to enjoy life and spend money on herself, especially after my dad died. I know she struggled to stay afloat, but then later on when she was doing well she still had a hard time spending money, but she would spend it on us just not herself! For her, she just didn't do that. She was a very giving caring person and often I know she put herself last, even though she was stubborn and set in her ways and opinions. You either loved her and got along well with her or you didn't.  She wasn't as much of a people pleaser as I was. And as much as I mimic a lot of the same qualities as her, I know that if I want to live a long life, I also have to invest time energy and care into myself. That's the number one way to be able to have enough to give everyone else.  Even though I was hesitant at first to spend that money on myself when I had plenty of other things I could do with it. I knew If I was  constantly depleting my own resources of support, it's really hard to support others or be their biggest cheerleader when your stability is in question. This time of year is hard for me with that. I have that period of time between when Steve got sick recalling when my dad got sick and passed away and then Steve died all bundled and shoved into a month's time. There are a lot of significant dates in my life, but for some reason that period of time is the most pronounced in my mind. 5 years later that combo still hits hard. No one is really going to take care of me as properly as I can take care of me during this time. 

Nine months ago, I decided that after 20+ years of not having braces, I wasn't happy with the way my teeth were moving (after an accidental case of washing my retainer and drying it after a camping trip - it melted and I was without wearing it for nine months). I didn't want to be like my mom where I got to the point that I didn't want to smile with my mouth open. I've been told I have a nice smile, and and I want to be able to be happy enough and comfortable enough in my own skin that I can show that off and bring a little bit of cheer and happiness to others.  

They say the best curve on a woman's body is their smile  and I wanted to continue to make that true for me and radiate that energy to others. 

Yesterday marked nine months of aligners to get my teeth- not perfect because nothing is perfect, but in a fashion that I won't be afraid intimidated or worried about how my teeth look when I smile and then shy away from doing it. RBF doesn't look good on me. 

I was able to get all my brackets off and have relatively straight teeth and a nice bite in my mouth where my jaw comes together more evenly. 

  Here is to taking care of myself and many years to come of smiles and gratitude for where life has taken me despite all the crap that it has thrown at me. I want to continue to be a light to others and fulfill whatever purpose God has given me in this life. 

Cheers to all of you that are hesitating on doing something to take care of yourself because you're afraid it isn't necessary you don't want to spend the money, or you think it's frivolous. I hope you get a little nudge too. Get the massage, take the trip, buy the earrings occasionally eat at that expensive restaurant! I say do what makes you happy because only you can create that environment for yourself! I will continue to wear my smile as if it's my signature! 

Dream Big, Smile On!