Thursday, October 30, 2014

The Courage to change the things you can

Sometimes in life we can not control our circumstances- we cannot change what happens to us, we can think life is unfair- we can have our pity parties or meltdowns and blow ups - but we must get over it and continue on. We must be thankful for what we have the good and the bad. Along with the ugly, the unfair, the heartaches and the pain, the love the joy the blessings and miracles. It is not our circumstances but how we react to, deal with and handle our situation. Can we turn our negative circumstances for a greater good with our attitude, our treatment of others, our kind words and selfless deeds? This is what shapes us to be who we are. I shared with a friend last night a few reasons why I have chosen to do certain things in my life - a huge percentage of them were from taking tragic events that have happened to me over the years and making them have a positive impact on my life now. Why do we do what we do? Because of what happens to us along the way. We as individuals have the choice to embrace change, negative circumstances, unfair events and tradegy and use them to produce positive results in our lives and in the lives of others. Don't let that thing that happens to you today sour the rest of your days enjoyment-or cause a negative chain of events due to altering your attitude to negative- have your fit and move on and enjoy the day to its fullest- you NEVER know when it may be your last. 
God Grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change the Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference. 

Sunday, October 5, 2014

Addition and subtraction

It is a simple lesson of addition and subtraction- we all learned this in school. Do you ever feel like you have too many commitments? You can't say no. You want to be everything to everyone? As women we sure are multi-taskers but are we ever multi-tasking so much we forget where we are, what we are doing next or who we are? I have said in the past, the busier I am the more productive I am. At this point in my life I am beginning to think this isn't true. What I once could do I no longer have the capacity to handle. Especially with ever changing needs of my family, relationships and goals. When new opportunities arise I find myself just adding them to the laundry list of things I am already doing. I am committed to certain things already but I have an interest in others. So instead of re-evaluating what I am already doing, eliminating the things that are no longer in line with my goals and expectations of myself, my interests, likes and hobbies, I just pile them on top of what I am doing so that I don't have to "quit" or disappoint someone/something that I am presently a part of. This can be self-diagnosed as overly engaged in activities that no longer suit the needs of your current situation, to the point of a mid life crisis nervous breakdown because you are expecting to much of yourself in order to not look like you can't continue to handle everything that you have said yes to. Sometimes these opportunities and commitments you make are temporary, like the seasons, they change with the changes in your life. When your life changes, when unexpected things happen, when your needs, wants, desires and familial demands change, you must change- it is inevitable. You cannot continue to do all the things in your life you once had and cram in more, pile it on top, heavy load. You must STOP- Re-Evaluate- Prioritize- and LET GO! What is working for you and your situation, your goals? What do you want to accomplish? What commitments are in-line with your present? Your future? The past is the past. You CANNOT be every thing to everyone. Who is your focus? What is it that you want people to say about you at your funeral? "she sure was busy, but she lost her mind there at the end." LOL! Seriously! Sometimes you can only say YES so many times before it can really effect your livelihood and then you are just plain a mess inside with a happy go lucky outward appearance that is a ticking time bomb waiting to happen. In a conversation over the weekend with one of my friends, we discussed the negative effects of keeping things bottled inside and allowing others to take advantage of us without complaint because it is easier to go with the flow then speak up. But somehow that bottled up inside comes out and it isn't always pretty. My goal this week is to focus on the things that matter most, the ones most beneficial to my progress and livelihood and my current situation- those that don't are going to be eliminated- not because they haven't helped me in the past or aren't beneficial, but because I just cannot continue to add and not subtract.