Day 79

Okay, wow, it is 10:35 and I am still up because... not quite sure... lots to do, lots to think about... tried my friends tip... it worked so far. Thanks again.
Helped my mom out tonight the least I could do for all she does for me. I wish her much good fortune at her boutique this weekend. She has a lot of nice stuff. I just hope people have the money to spend on it.
I am grateful today for everything that I have accomplished. For good friends and family and the opportunity to enjoy my time at work tomorrow and spend time with my family, a great combo and a great employer who knows how to appreciate their employees truly goes a long way.
I think I could go on, however, it is late and I need to get up in the AM to start it all over again.


Do it big, do it right do it with style... Fred Astaire

Day 77

Thank you my friend for holding me accountable today, for being my new accountability partner and I yours. I really need to stay in check, to rejoice in the day and all its many blessings.
Today did start out a little rough from the minute I walked in the door at work to someone else's bad mood... it kind of set the tone and little things tumbled from there, I really tried to pull myself from the gloom and not allow my attitude to be set by someone else, as you know we can chose our attitude, but it happened and sometimes it is hard to chose the right attitude... I slowly but surely grew out of my slump and was pretty much okay by 1 pm, however, wanted to get out of the office as fast as I could and leave the negative attitude at the door, of which I did.
I had a great evening with my family and friends, a 1st haircut for the little boy and dinner with some great people.
Thanks also to another friend who put something in perspective for me, that I may not have otherwise acknowledged... for that little pointer, I am truly grateful and I really hope it works.
So today I would say... here is to my friends who love me dear... know that I am here for you as well and hope that I too from time to time can lift your spirits and give you the strength to push forward blessed by the day.

Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless. -Mother Teresa

day 76

So I think I am slacking on this gratefulness in writing and it is starting to show. I think just like anything when things start to get better you sometimes neglect what you did to get there, and then all goes chaotic again. It isn't that I am not thankful, it isn't that I am not thanking God every morning and night and sometimes during the day for the blessings he bestows upon me, I just think that when I actually put it in writing I am truly acknowledging the presence of God and my gratefulness for the blessings before me.
So here I go again on this feat to try and jot down my thoughts during the day and to put it into words at night to make me accountable for my actions, for my reflection of the day.
Today was sort of a hard day, it had many ups and downs and I think my mood was really established by what went on throughout the day and the interrupted sleep I experienced again last night. I think that instead of shaking off something I held on to the bitterness of many things from the last couple days, even though I promised myself I wouldn't do this. I really can blame female hormones or pills or my cycle..... sometimes I think it is this evil thing that plots against you just enough to make others(especially boys) think you are just nuts enough to be committed. (to an institution, lol)
It really shows that I am human and need to remind myself from time to time of my promises to improve my quality of life and my outlook on situations, my ability to let go, my ability to not let things weigh on me and to do my best to display and feel a positive outlook on life, to show my family a good example and to not let things upset me so much. It really is hard sometimes and my feelings are hurt and I am sure I hurt others from time to time and for that I am truly sorry. Like I have said before I don't really think it is anyones intention to hurt someone else, most people are not vindictive that way.
And I need to remind myself that as much as I don't intend on hurting others, they probably don't intentionally hurt me either.
Most people do the things they do and make the decisions they make out of love and genuine caring. Not everyone agrees to the same things or ways that things should be done, should we respect others thoughts feelings and ways? You betcha, but that doesn't mean we always have to agree with them. No matter what the relationship, mother/daughter; son/mother; father/son; daughter/mother-in-law; parent/child; husband/wife; teacher/student; boss/employee... but it is important that we share with that other person how we feel, what we want and where to go from the point of disagreement. If we are all on the same page, if we can make a compromise or listen to what the other person feels the reason for their decision or choice is, I think it would make us a lot more open in communication and less scared of sharing our true feelings. We need to put it out there, to express our feelings and to understand that feelings are not right or wrong, they are just feelings, we may not agree with the way someone feels, but we can't change that they feel that way. We can only be more responsible for our own self and know that the only person we can truly change is our self and we need to respect the feelings of others, even if we don't agree that they should feel that way.
I need to recognize that I cannot be all things to all people and no one should expect me to be, God doesn't and I shouldn't. I shouldn't get so mad at myself or feel guilty because I can't always be the one to help out, the one to say yes, the one to say and do the right thing at the right time for everyone, no matter how badly I want to accomplish this, it isn't truly realistic. I can only do my best and know that my best should be good enough, because if I continue to get wrapped up in doing it all and doing it all right, it will just turn out to be more of a mess than I ever truly intended and for that I need to recognize when to slow down, when to say no, how to be respectful of others and how to teach others that I am a loving and gentle person who only wants what is best for those around her and loves everyone and should love them unconditionally, all of the time, and teach them to be the same way with me... now that is the hard part, because like I said I can only really change me, I can lead by example or let others know how I want to be treated, but that doesn't mean they will respect me or go along with my request, but it is worth a shot.
It is our calling to treat every human being with grace and dignity, to treat every person, whether encountered in a palace or a gas station, as a life made in the image of God. -Sheila Walsh

lost count

So I am grateful tonight for many things. For opportunities to think outside the box, for friends who care enough and believe you can do something great, that I am able to do great things and they are eager to help me accomplish them, I am grateful for the difference I make in others lives and for the kind words that were spoken to me at work, not only by a co-worker but a student today, I am grateful that a dear friend was able to share her thoughts with me and that I was receptive to her feelings, I am grateful that my husband loves and supports me the best way he knows how, I am grateful for family and their giving nature, for the job that I have and the ability to constantly learn new things, for a son who gives me strength and courage, and definitely inspiration. I recently got the idea on how to make something a success, to truly reach out there and see a dream come true, I will follow through with my hope and be persistent to avoid failure, I will live as though it were already mine and be thankful for each new day in which to present my idea to others.....

If you doubt you can accomplish something, you can't accomplish it. Instead, you have to be confident in yourself and you need to be tough enough to follow through. - Rosalynn Carter

day 64 of 365

Today I am grateful for many things as I am every day. I am grateful that my Thursday ran smoothly, that I was productive at work, that I helped another student realize their dreams and potential, that my mother took care of my son yet another day, that my husband made me breakfast for dinner(my favorite) and that my son made me laugh, that my brother got his new phone, a friend enjoyed her birthday, my car drove me too and from work, I was able to get new contacts, the sun shined down upon this earth, for my co-workers who smiled and those I was able to help make their day better, for the promise of tomorrow as a new day in which to realize my dreams, take charge of my life and do something that I will remember, because I will make a difference.

When you look for the good in others you discover the best in yourself. -martin walsh

So I challenge myself that whenever I want to find someone else at fault I must stop and say the thing as to why I like or admire the person, one thing that that person excels at or believes in that makes them good, if I concentrate on that rather than the fault, the person will become more a product of their asset than their fault.

Day 62 of 365

What a Fantastic weekend! I had nothing pressing and was able to do a lot of little things that made a difference, to me at least. I love it when there are no commitments(which doesn't happen very often) and you can really decide what to do and enjoy it.
Today really started out a a pretty slow day, the usual things at work and then this afternoon I was gratefully busy and the day seemed to go faster despite the yawning every 5 minutes,, (I swear a co-worker and I were having a yawning contest, not certain why I am so tired, maybe that crazy dream that seemed to last all night.... one of those that really didn't make sense but you felt exhausted when you woke up.)and the day seemed to go faster and next thing I know it was time to go home, to my cute little boy and loving family.
Tonight I am grateful for the good nights sleep I am looking forward to. Heck, if I put it out there, in the universe.... it is bound to come true!
Talking to a close friend of mine on the way home from work who is experiencing some personal struggles It was reiterated to me that often times life is short, if it is lived at all, and things often happen beyond our control. We will not always be able explain the why but we can make the most of the experience, we can choose what we will learn and we can chose what we take away as the opportunity for the future. The outlook that she shared on her situation was a positive and encouraging one and I know that God has special things planned for their future, I can't tell you what they are just like I cannot predict my future, I can only hope and wish and dream and have faith in those things I hope for but do not see.
We are so used to living in an instant world that is difficult to wait for anything. - Kay Arthur
But as the saying goes, good things come to those who wait. and I might add BELIEVE!
I think if I ever got another tattoo that is what it would say BELIEVE! Believe that good things will come, believe that you are destined to do great things, believe that God is watching over you and will provide for you, Believe in the good, Believe in the opportunities hidden in bad things, Believe in Yourself... and so on... it really is a powerful word.

day 56 of 365

Today I am grateful for patience, I am grateful for not flipping out (well too much) when I couldn't find the receipt I needed to make a return (found it). I am grateful for my family and friends, my co-workers and the encouragement and support that I receive. I am grateful for the opportunities I took to encourage others and make the most of my day. I am grateful that someone who stated they would take my advice, does and it works out best for her. I am grateful that God will lovingly wrap his gentle arms around a friend who received some bad news. I am grateful that I will continue to embrace life and what it has to offer me, to turn my struggles into triumphs, to find the positive amidst the negative things. I want to inspire others to be the best they can and to give the most they can. Let me shed myself of all that is burdening me and I will live and love life to the fullest.
There is no joy in life like the joy of sharing. - Billy Graham

Day 54 of 365

"When you find yourself stressed, ask yourself one question: Will this matter five years from now? If yes, then do something about the situation. If no, then let it go."
Catherine Pulsifer


So this was my thought of the day... and after I reflected on some news I heard today... I thought wow how ironic it is sometimes that I can relate a thought of the day to a particular situation for that day.

and then my bible verse of the day was this.
We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance.

~ Romans 5:3, NLT

And it all brings me back to being grateful for what I have. Life is a precious commodity and it can be with us one day and gone the next, in expected and unexpected ways. We need to really treasure those that we have in our lives in the moment in which we are and we cannot take it for granted that they will be here in the next moment, the next day, the next year.
It is important to be kind to all those we encounter, because we never know when it may make a difference to that person. For we never truly know what another person is feeling or thinking. And taking the time may just mean something to that person we could have never imagined.
Just as I think and feel things that I would never disclose to anyone, so do most if not all people out there. So I will take the advice of Author Max Lucado who says we must make a difference, if we don't make a difference in the lives of others.... who will?
I will challenge myself to hold my tongue when I want to speak badly of another person,(you just never know what they may be going through- that makes them that way), to take the time to have a conversation with someone new in the break room, to smile at the person walking toward me down the hall that I don't even know, to wave to the stranger outside in their yard as I drive by in my car, to be pleasant to all the clerks who help me in a store, to compliment my co-workers for a job well done, to thank my husband and mother for the simple things that they do to make my job as a mother and wife and daughter easier that I may already take for granted or expect them to do, to kiss my son and thank him for being such an intricate part of my life.
I will make a difference to that one person who may need me in the moment, because the moment is what truly matters, and how we relate to the moment we have makes all the difference, because once that moment has passed we will never have that same chance again.

Day 53 of 365

So I am so super excited... One of my ultimate dreams is going to come true.....the goal I set for myself(although my original goal was by the time I was 30)...hey, I'm only 31 so I am on the right track.... patience, persistence, dedication, hard work, timing, confidence, it all plays a role in our dreams and goals. Seldom does something profound happen to the person who sits and waits for it to fall into their lap... rare cases yes, lottery winners, perhaps, people born into riches, maybe, but I think that there is something to say about success from hard work verses born into success or money.
How often do we see or have we heard or know those who have had it easy, those who can buy whatever they want when they want? I don't think that money necessarily produces happy people. Take some celebrities for example, they can buy what they want, have what they want but you can see all over the news that that doesn't necessarily make them happy, jumping from mate to mate, drugs, illegal activity and so on. Then there are others that have the money and are happy and do with it great things.
I see myself that if I truly make a success of my talents and work hard for what I earn, I will be satisfied with my abilities and know that my talents will show me my true self-worth.
I look forward to the next step in my journey, because as I have said before and I will continue to say, life is a journey, not a destination. It has its ups and downs, life's trials are not all based on successes or failures- they are based on growth and experience... a journey... not a destination.
A good thought... Rule number 7 according to Author:Og Mandino
Each day is a special gift from God, and while life may not always be FAIR, you must never allow the pains, hurdles, and handicaps of the moment to poison your attitude and plans for yourself or your future. You can never win when you wear the ugly cloak of self-pity, and the sour sound of whining will certainly frighten away any opportunity for success. Never again. There is a better way.
Remember that life isn't fair and it probably never will be. We must learn to live with the ups and downs and give it the best that we got and make the most of each of our individual circumstances to find true happiness.