Last week in church the sermon centered around Habakkuk. I
took some notes but all week I have went back to verse in 3:19 where it states, The
Sovereign Lord is my strength! He makes me surefooted as a deer, able to tread
upon the heights. Surefooted… the definition in two parts is 1. unlikely
to stumble or slip and 2. confident and competent.
I think in life we are all susceptible to stumbling, slipping,
and sometimes lacking the confidence we need to be sure of ourselves and maybe
we lack competence about certain things. This can be the result of past
experiences as well as uncertainty or anxiety about our future. I would say
this is completely normal. We can’t always anticipate most of what we will face
or endure and that can be scary. There are always going to be hurdles and hiccups
to overcome on our way to discovering our purpose and fulfilling that in the
highest capacity that we can. Sometimes the journey can be made up of sheer cliff
walls. The best example I can think of is going to Canyon Lake and seeing the
rams on the sides of the cliffs ramming their heads together and jumping from
rock to rock on the cliff walls. It probably wouldn’t cross your mind that
they are thinking twice about their next move, they do it with agility and
grace confident in their safety and land solidly planted on the next rock like
nothing phased them. They can’t always see what is coming but they with sure feet
make the move anyway. We can’t see the wind, but we can see the effects of it,
and we believe that it is there.
Wouldn’t it be amazing if we as humans had that faith
consistently? Where we just took the leap, not worried about our future or what
ramifications it could have. If we exercised the confidence of the deer or mountain goat that make these moves without hesitation. The Pastor reminded the congregation
that we can’t always see what is coming, and sometimes it is sorrow,
disappointments, and grief. But we can rejoice in the goodness surrounding us
through it all.
A lot of you have heard me mention that I have dabbled in dating, I didn’t find a new soulmate in the first few guys I met after Steve and as much as I would like to say it has been extremely smooth, easy, wonderful, and positive, I would be lying! I have had some fun, frustrating and rather absurd experiences so far! So, unlike the surefooted animal who leaps without flinching there have been many uncertainties, questioning moments, and unbelievable moments, some I would even say funny! As the saying goes, sometimes what didn’t work out for you, worked out for you. A few of my close friends have told me I need to eventually write a book about it… you never know I just might. I am keeping track and writing things down, so stay tuned. It just might make the best-seller list! HAHA!
Right now, I am happy and look forward to seeing where my life and experiences takes me with those who are part of it. I
am asking God for his guidance, asking him to humble me, placing my faith in what
I know my heart deserves, and choosing to enjoy the journey, the good, the bad,
the waves, the pending uncertainties, anxieties, new experiences with pure
intentions and authentic energy and see where it takes me. Anticipating that everything my heart deserves will come to me when the timing is right. What is meant to be shouldn't be difficult, everything good takes effort, but should come naturally.
At first, I was hiding the fact that I have taken up an
interest in dating, but it is hard to continue lying about these things. Does
he need to know details absolutely not, but I want him to have the idea in the
back of his mind that he might meet someone someday, and it is better to get
him used to that idea now then spring it upon him. Paxton’s stance on the
situation: He acknowledges that I am dating, he isn’t extremely supportive or
happy about it, but he knows he really can’t do much about it. I told him that I
would not introduce him to someone unless I was certain they may stick around
for the future so he didn’t get attached to someone, he told me even if the guy
was the #1 roper in the world he wouldn’t want to be his friend and definitely wouldn’t
get attached to him (to be honest, we are all human and can get attached
without even realizing it, so I took the comment with a grain of salt.)
Although I will most assure you that I would have Steve’s blessing, I don’t
have Paxton’s right now and you know what that is ok. I am not replacing his dad,
and in my heart, I know that, and I think he ultimately does too, no matter
what is going on in his head. It is a step in the right direction, and I know
that first and foremost he wants his mom to be happy, but he is still young and
doesn’t quite understand my wants and needs. He lacks that surefooted faith. And
maybe I do, a little bit too but my faith is stronger than my doubts.
We all face new adventures in life, we are all uncertain at
times. We all make mistakes, stumble along the way, have faults and move
forward. If you are doing so with the best intentions even if something goes
awry you can be confident in your journey, surefooted in your step and
appreciate the things that contribute to who you become. A lot of us live for
an end goal, but what does that look like and who really knows when the end is?
Shouldn’t we always learn, grow, and better ourselves? I think so! The only end
goal worth focusing on is not of this world. So, sit back and enjoy the journey,
embrace it, appreciate the steps, stumbles, and eye-openers but be surefooted in
your decisions along the way. There should be no regrets, only learning experiences.
Release the negative, Rest in between, Receive the blessings intended for you,
and Repeat as necessary.
Sometimes you have to restart your plan. Begin again.
All over again. As many times as it takes. So you can make it where you need to
go. Failures happen. Mistakes are part of the journey. The goal is to not live
a perfect life- the goal is to live a life of purpose. / topher kearby
