23. Ask someone how their day went and be a good listener.
24. Pick up trash or litter and put it in the garbage.
25.Play something with a sibling that they like to do without complaining.
Don't forget to tag #AKindElf and send a picture of your elf or kind deed!
Missed my previous posts? Pre-planning? For a complete list click here.
22. Tell a story or read a book to someone.
Don't forget to tag #AKindElf and send a picture of your elf or kind deed!
Missed my previous posts? Pre-planning? For a complete list click here.
21. Make something at home, take lunch, cookies or cupcakes ot yor local fire or police departments.
Don't forget to tag #AKindElf and send a picture of your elf or kind deed!
Missed my previous posts? Pre-planning? For a complete list click here.
20. Clean out your room and donate gently used stuffed animals to a police or fire station to use during emergencies to help calm scared kids.
Don't forget to tag #AKindElf and send a picture of your elf or kind deed!
Missed my previous posts? Pre-planning? For a complete list click here.
My friend posted a few photos of her son with Santa this morning from years ago. It reminded me of a photo of Paxton with my nieces the very first time he sat on Santa's lap. He was definitely not having it and no matter how hard we tried, he cried harder. She made a comment that the lady who did the photos asked her if she wanted to try again, and she declined saying that "imperfect"photo was perfect.
We used to rely on film that had to be developed before we could see the results. Now many of us are consumed with these digital images that can be browsed, deleted and taken over and over until we end up with the results that we WANT, not the natural way that things turn out- whether good or bad. Some even elude to special filters to make them crystal clear and "perfect" before we post them. Media images, social media and all these tools have led us to a world of picture perfect images that don't necessarily paint an accurate picture of ourselves, our mood and even our personalities sometimes.
Many desire the positive comments, the compliments and the uplifting satisfaction of the nice things people say about us. My family recently had our family photos taken. When we received them back, my first instinct was to pick myself apart! I am not in the best shape of my life, my hair was out of place in some, my smile has always been a little crooked, I only really like one side of my profile... as I was doing this internal self talk, I looked deeper at my smile, my family and my happiness and decided that many of these photos showed my love for my family, my blessings and my happiness in most categories of my life! I decided that this is what makes a photo a great photo, not our size, our shape or the position of our stance.
These family photos portrayed myself where I am at in this point of my life, not 10+ lbs from now, hair that lays perfectly or a smile that would be chosen for a magazine ad. That is me being critical of myself! There were photos I posted that were just ok, and some of those had more comments than the ones I thought I looked a lot better in. It made me realize that others are not as critical of us as we are of ourselves. This means that we need to look deeper into who we are, what we stand for and love ourself a little more, giving ourself grace and acceptance, just as others do and most importantly God sees us.
So yes, this photo isn't the picture perfect result that some of us parents would have liked to put in that Santa Christmas frame, but it is how things played out and it is the memory that we will cherish over the photo that will have us talking about for years to come. Watch out Paxton, this one might make your graduation photo board or slide show in the near future, but for now, stop growing up so fast. -Love Mom
"But the Grace of God I am what I am, and his grace toward me was not in vain. On the contrary, I worked harder than any of them, though it was not I , but the grace of God that is with me." Corinthians 15:10
19. Look through your pantry and donate items to a local food bank.
Don't forget to tag #AKindElf and send a picture of your elf or kind deed!
Missed my previous posts? Pre-planning? For a complete list click here.
18. Take coffee or hot chocolate to a Salvation Army bell ringer.
Don't forget to tag #AKindElf and send a picture of your elf or kind deed!
Missed my previous posts? Pre-planning? For a complete list click here.
17. Make someone laugh!
Don't forget to tag #AKindElf and send a picture of your elf or kind deed!
Missed my previous posts? Pre-planning? For a complete list click here.
16. Donate a toy to your local Toys for Tots drive, adopt a child from an Angel Tree, or buy a new pair of pajamas for a foster child.
Don't forget to tag #AKindElf and send a picture of your elf or kind deed!
Missed my previous posts? Pre-planning? For a complete list click here.
15. Write a Christmas card to a solider and thank them for their service and your freedom.
Don't forget to tag #AKindElf and send a picture of your elf or kind deed!
Missed my previous posts? Pre-planning? For a complete list click here.
14. Put sticky notes with positive messages in random place.
Don't forget to tag #AKindElf and send a picture of your elf or kind deed!
Missed my previous posts? Pre-planning? For a complete list click here.
13. Give someone a hug and tell them you love and appreciate them.
Don't forget to tag #AKindElf and send a picture of your elf or kind deed!
Missed my previous posts? Pre-planning? For a complete list click here.
So oops! Yesterday kind of slipped by me! Here are two posts in one!
11. Call a grandparent or family member you haven't talked to in awhile and see how they are doing.
12. Put a package of essentials together and give it to a homeless person.
Don't forget to tag #AKindElf and send a picture of your elf or kind deed!
Missed my previous posts? Pre-planning? For a complete list click here.
When you are in the middle of trying to right a wrong and get struck with about 3-5 others things that just aren't quite going "right" in your mind of what should be happening, it is easy to get discouraged and go deeper down the everything is going wrong today, what could possibly go right you might be asking yourself... and ultimately you need to stop what you are doing, flip your switch, adjust your mindset and re-start your day, even if you are in the middle of it!
It is doing no one any good especially you to spiral down that negative path it can be destructive to you, your family or anyone that meets your path that day. Think of all the positive things you can accomplish when you stop and take a few moments to reset your attitude, think of what you are truly grateful for, pray for patience, strength or comfort and focus on all the good things that could happen if you were not focused on the bad things that have happened, I guarantee there are more things good than bad in any given day if you took the time to recall them.
I had that morning! Up early, mind racing, figuring out how to "fix something" I didn't do, or make up for it... and my negativity spiraled into quite a few more negative things. Wallowing in a little bit of poor me self pity wasn't really the best thing to do... however, I am human definitely not perfect and it happens to the best of us! Before taking Paxton to school I read my woman's daily devotion at the exact time I needed to and on the way to school, we stopped, thanked God for our blessings and readjusted our mindsets to spring toward a positive day verses spiraling down a negative one. We can't always control other peoples reactions we are only responsible for our own. And I will tell you mid-morning, the day is definitely heading more in the right direction.
Pessimism is an investment in nothing. Optimism is an investment in hope. - Author Unknown
.
10. Do an EXTRA chore around your house without being asked.
Don't forget to tag #AKindElf and send a picture of your elf or kind deed!
Missed my previous posts? Pre-planning? For a complete list click here.
9. Give someone a compliment- a friend, classmate, teacher, sibling... etc.
Don't forget to tag #AKindElf and send a picture of your elf or kind deed!
Pre-planning? For a complete list click here.
8. Buy a box of candy canes at the dollar store and put them on random cars in a parking lot, if you want to add a note that just says "spread cheer"
Don't forget to tag #AKindElf and send a picture of your elf or kind deed!
Pre-planning? For a complete list click here.
I know in the last week or so I wrote about how I just have to come to terms with not being able to be everyone's cup of tea... not everyone has to like me and I am ok with that, took me awhile but I think I am warming up to the idea.
Talking with a client last week she was honest but disappointed in her family's ability to help other family members out like they should. I remember she said it was like pulling teeth. My advice to her was that it is OK, it isn't everyone's strong point and that I was sure they excelled at other things in life. When I said that to her it reminded me that I am not meant to be good at everything, none of us are. We need to find what we are good at and give it 100%! Give yourself and others around you grace for the things that you and they are not good at. They may be good at what you are not and vice versa!
The next time you are quick to judge yourself or someone else for your faults, point out the things that you or they are good at and concentrate on those, it could make all the difference.
Choose, everyday to forgive yourself. You are human, flawed and most of all worthy of love.
-Alison Malee
7. Help make dinner and take extra to an elderly neighbor or someone who lives alone.
Don't forget to tag #AKindElf and send a picture of your elf or kind deed!
Pre-planning? For a complete list click here.
6. Make a card or sign for your mail carrier, trash person or UPS driver, thanking them.
Don't forget to tag #AKindElf and send a picture of your elf or kind deed!
Pre-planning? For a complete list click here.
3. Surprise your teacher with a donut/muffin/apple, small gift, handmade note or some classroom supplies.
Don't forget to tag #AKindElf and send a picture of your elf or kind deed!
If you missed day 1 click here
If you missed day 2 click here
If you are a planner and want access to the full list click here.
Day 2
Hold a door open for someone at school or anywhere, let someone cut in front of you in line, exercise your politeness skills.
Don't forget to tag #AKindElf and send a picture of your elf or kind deed!
If you missed day 1 click here
If you are a planner and want access to the full list click here.
DAY 1
Feel free to make this a family affair and please post and share your photos or acts of kindness and tag #AKindElf
Feel free to use a few or all of them this Season. Maybe your Elf brings a note on the days he/she wants you to be kind, maybe you give the list at the beginning and your kids chose which things they want to do, maybe the elf says chose 5! Feel free to tweak them to fit your family and your kids! Remember that kindness can become a habit and doesn't need to just come out at this Wonderful Time of Year, but should be displayed throughout the year to bring smiles, love and happiness to others.
1.Hold a door open for someone, or offer to return a grocery cart to the cart return or store for someone who is unloading their groceries in their car.
If you are a planner here is the list to all 25 kindness suggestions.
Make this fun!
So you may be used to the Elf on the Shelf, who shows up each morning in silly poses, doing mischievous things, hidden for the children to find... Our elf Tutti Fruit Loop showed up with a poem every morning for my son to find him, it always rhymed and it always had a clue for him. Sometimes he was doing something silly, once he planted seeds the night before given to him by the elf and woke up to a garden of candy canes in the back yard, sometimes he brought gifts, sometimes he reminded him of the true meaning of Christmas, reminded him Santa was watching and sometimes he brought suggestions for things my son could do to brighten someone else's day.. spread Christmas cheer and teach him the pure joy of kindness.
This year being the first year that my son has discovered that Santa is a concept and not a real person who flies around and drops of gifts to kids every where in the world...that the Elf on the Shelf doesn't come to life every night and fly back to the North Pole to make gifts and he doesn't have a younger sibling to carry on the magic of Christmas, we have decided to share with you how you can encourage kindness in your kids through the magic of your elf! Pay it forward and ENJOY the JOY you bring to others.
The following are 25 suggestions on how to incorporate kindness through your kids and share it with others, feel free to make this a family affair and please post and share your photos or acts of kindness and tag #AKindElf.
Feel free to use a few or all of them this Season. Maybe your Elf brings a note on the days he/she wants you to be kind, maybe you give the list at the beginning and your kids chose which things they want to do, maybe the elf says chose 5! Feel free to tweak them to fit your family and your kids! Remember that kindness can become a habit and doesn't need to just come out at this Wonderful Time of Year, but should be displayed throughout the year to bring smiles, love and happiness to others.
1.Hold a door open for someone, or offer to return a grocery cart to the cart return or store for someone who is unloading their groceries in their car.
2.Let someone cut in front of you in line at school or the store or anywhere that you are ahead of someone.
3. Surprise your teacher with a donut/muffin/apple, a small gift, a handmade note or some classroom supplies. Just because.
4. Clean out your closet and donate a game, some books in good condition or a toy to a hospital, homeless shelter.
5. Tape $5 cash, or a gift card to a gas pump or self check out at a store with a note of kindness.
6. Make a card or sign for your mail carrier, trash person or UPS delivery driver tape a candy cane to it.
7.Help make dinner and take extra to an elderly neighbor or someone who lives alone.
8. Buy a box of candy canes at the dollar store and put them on cars in a parking lot.
9. Give someone in class, a friend, a sibling or a teacher a compliment.
10. Do an extra chore around your house without being asked.
11. Call a grandparent or family member you haven't talked to in a while and see how they are doing.
12. Put a package of essentials together and give it to a homeless person.
13. Give someone a hug and tell them you love and appreciate them.
14. Put sticky notes with positive messages in random places.
15. Write a Christmas card to a solider and thank them for their service and your freedom.
16. Donate a toy to your local Toys for Tots drive, adopt a child from an Angel Tree, or buy a new pair of pajamas for a foster child.
17. Tell a joke, make someone laugh.
18. Take coffee or hot chocolate to a Salvation Army bell ringer.
19. Look through your pantry and donate items to a local food bank.
20. Clean out your room and donate gently used stuffed animals to a police or fire station to use during emergencies to help calm scared kids.
21. Make something at home, take lunch, cookies or cupcakes to your local fire or police departments .
22. Read a story/book to someone.
23. Ask someone how their day went and be a good listener.
24. Pick up trash or litter and put it in the garbage.
25.Play something with a sibling that they like to do without complaining.
Chamomile, Earl Gray, lemon, honey, raspberry, green, black, white, hot or iced? So many different choices and not everyone is going to like the same. So why oh why would I think that I would be everyone's cup of tea?
What a stressful week of work related things, a few personal things and some other pressing things popping at the seams. I was irritated that in a particular situation someone thought I did less than a stellar job, that no matter all the good things that I had done, the one thing that was beyond my control somehow ended up my fault. I repeated it over and over in my mind. I know I juggle many things and we all have times where we could have done better or have room to improve. Believe me after all these years of real estate, I am still learning new things and from my experiences everyday. Every person, deal, situation, circumstance and outcome can be different! I think that is why I really like it so much and having been doing it so long. It is definitely not boring.
I don't know if any of you are like me but I really don't handle it well when someone doesn't like me, or after all my hard work and effort are less than appreciative. This is hard for me. I strive to be perfect even though I know I am not. I am hard on myself when I mess up, when I try so hard and it just doesn't work out, or when I can't make something come together they way they expected it. I try hard, I often give up money and time that is often unecessary just to make something work for the other person's benefit and therefore when my efforts are jabbed with a solid "I really don't think you did your job" of course I get defensive. Who me? The one with the kind heart and only good intentions... "yes you" it screams and the negative self talk happens. I end up stressed out over something I cannot control trying to make it right so no one is mad at me! Then I replay the situation and circumstances over in my head trying to fix it once again. You know, it is mentally and emotionally exhausting sometimes! My cortisol levels skyrocket in my fight or flight struggle in my body, no wonder I cannot loose weight!
Anyway throught my inner tormoil and speaking with a dear friend, she reminded me that I am not always going to be someone's cup of tea- no matter how hard I want to please everyone, I am just not going to. That often times I will receive the blunt end of someone else's struggle, issue or insecurity. A lot of times it is not even my fault at all! I being the kind, caring person that I am I get wrapped up in their drama and take it in, adopt it and deal with it even if it is only for short term during a transaction. But I take it in nonetheless and it becomes an added stress for me. And sometimes no matter how hard I try, how much I try to fix it or how much I do... I am just not their favorite tea.
This helped me let go of the day's drama and accept the fact that no matter how many times I played the circumstances over in my head or thought of what could have gone differently to get the outcome they wanted, I had to tell myself that it was beyond my control and trying to "fix" how someone feels about you is usually a dead end deal that is not worth my time or effort and what is in my best interest is to let it go, move on and regain my inner peace.
When I got the mail yesterday I received a wonderful thank you card from another client thanking me for an anniversary gift card I sent, telling me how much they enjoyed their new home over the last year and how much they enjoyed working with me on the sale and buy of their home. I was refreshed and ready to let go of what I can't change and enjoy the things that make me a better me.
I need to just remember that I cannot please everyone, I cannot control all circumstances and I cannot take ownership of someone else's insecurities. I need to protect my God given body and mind and preserve it to the best of my ablility so that I can stay healthy for my family and me.
Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on. _ Eckhart Tolle
For over a year now my kid has questioned the idea of Santa... from kid's at school to T.V. shows he has watched and has brought it up several times and I feel like I have always had a great come back dodging the truth.... until yesterday. On the way to practice we were discussing how different our school's Cookies and Cocoa with Santa event will have to be and I mentioned having to commission a different Santa (he is usually Santa's helper at the event, passing out Santa gifts, getting Santa water, escorting Santa to the bathroom, etc! ) He already knew Santa has Santa helpers because he can't be lots of places at the same time, I mentioned the new Santa being someone we know! He didn't say anything at first but then when he did I was like, open mouth insert foot here!!! OH NO! He looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, "Mom, Santa is fake huh? You and dad are Santa Claus..." My heart broke for him but I just couldn't "lie" or avoid the subject yet again! I haven't even told Steve yet, because he thinks by telling him I will be ruining it... I am just honestly not a good liar! I told him first off that St. Nick was a real person in Europe who took gifts to the needy and became the basis for Santa Claus, that parents and others carried on the tradition of love and sharing and gift giving and it evolved over the years into what is the present day Santa Claus. I also shared my story of how I came to know that Santa wasn't real when I was only in 2nd grade! My friend's father was the local Baptist minsiter and they just never did the Santa Claus thing, I remember going home and saying "Christy Lawrence said there is no such thing as Santa Claus, is this true?!" My mom and dad sat me down and explained the concept! I am actually surprised that my kid made it to the 6th grade, yes with his doubts and reservations but still with that hint of belief, that in times past I wasn't ready to extinguish! I also had to make it part of our discussion that even though Santa isn't real, just the concept of him was that God is fully and completely real and surrounding all of us that Jesus was born and died for our sins and reiterate what the word Christmas really means, and that there are a lot of people who grow up knowing that Santa isn't real and I was able to use some examples. He wondered why these specific examples of kids he knows well never told him. I said because they are your friend and didn't want to ruin what you were taught and believe. Not everyone is taught the same but everyone should respect other people's beliefs and values nonetheless. We also discussed how he shouldn't run to school and profess to others his new findings on this subject as there will still be people who haven't had this discussion with their parents and he will not know who has and who has not! I also suggested that we could "be Santa" for a family in need this Christmas, and he liked the idea.In his sort of he already knew what I would say, to his semi-shock that it really wasn't real, we did not have any conversations regarding the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy or Elf on the Shelf.. he is a smart kid, but until he asks I didn't feel the need to confess to anymore lies at that moment. But seriously, the real person playing Santa Claus isn't real, not sure how you could continue to believe there is a creature in a big fluffy ugly bunny suit that comes to your house and gives you a basket... LOL! We were close to practice and he was trying not to get there with red eyes!
I have been seriously considering his elf on the shelf doing something totally different this year, even prior to yesterdays conversations anyway!
Remember my kid is 11 and I think that we have had elf on the shelf visiting for at least 9 years now... Tutti Fruit Loop who visits everyday after Thanksgiving somewhere different in our home, with a note that rhymes! Yes I am a writer but oh my gosh what was I thinking.... I finally started recyling them or changing them a tad just to not be exactly the same! I also incorportated the true meaing of Christmas into these rhymes to instill why Jesus is the most important part of this celebration every year! Fun to do fun to watch him read the note(especially after he learned to read) and find where the elf was "hiding" with his little gift or funny/cute scene or note about kindnes or gifting joy to others, but definitely exhausting! This year the elf was going to bring ways that Paxton could spread the joy, love and cheer of Christmas! Today a very dear friend gave me the idea to share this elf kindness with others, so stay tuned for Tutti Fruit Loops 24 days of kindness that you can use to instill the idea of kindness and giving with your children this holiday season. Starting Nov 30th I will post one Elf on the Shelf idea per day that your elf can bring to encourage kindness and giving in your children. Feel free to use them all, pick and choose and share your photos or results of your kindess on my IG and or FB pages!
'Tis the Season to remember that kindness matters every day of the year, not just in one Season. Here is to you spreading the magic of Christmas, starting this month and continuing it throughout the year!
As the saying goes your faith is stronger than your fear. I still think you can experience both faith and fear at the same time.
This past week has been a lot of ups and downs for me. A funeral of a friend, the anniversary of my father's death, 27 years ago, the air in my truck going out, brakes needing replaced on my husband's vehicle, my washing machine started leaking, our tubs, showers and toilets backed up one night and we had to have our septic pumped, I searched for 4 days for this really awful smell in my garage that made me gag every time I stepped out there from the house (dead toads do not belong in kids mud boots! YUCK), oh and did I mention that I lost my driver's license, 3 debit cards and a credit card at Safeway for almost 24 hours! The stress and pressure, the cost of the repairs, the internal dialogue of how stupid I had to be to lose all those cards, the thought of having to cancel everything, reschedule automatic payments, schedule an appointment at the DMV, the anxiety of wondering if someone was going to steal my identity or charge up my cards...was enough to get the best of me, but falling back on my faith and praying every single time my fear would creep to cover over my faith. Just like my mom used to pray when I was younger... she taught me anytime you couldn't find anything, you stopped and prayed. "God bless the item and thank you God for helping me find it!" over and over and over again! I want to say I remembered it worked nearly every time. I have practiced this with Paxton and it really helps put your trust in God that somehow everything is going to be ok, even if it doesn't turn out exactly as you expected. I checked my bank account, business account and credit card statement probably 17 times that day and felt relief seeing nothing had been charged and holding on to that good person who would turn my stuff in! Turns out they did!
Honestly it all adds up and it is enough to make you want to just go in your room, shut the door and cry a good cry! I am sure I vented, I complained I asked for prayers from others, but I kept going back to my faith! Faith bigger than a mustard seed, faith that things for me through all this crap are somehow better than something someone else is feeling. I tried so hard to focus on what I was grateful for, the positive things, my health, my family, my blessings! And guess what guys those things won! The negative things can come and go, sometimes they pile up all at once, sometimes the seem like too much. Mind over matter! The power of positive thinking, what you think you bring about and all the other things I have been taught can really make a difference. Stop and add up the little things if you collected them in a jar, they would fill it up way farther than those negative things we tend to focus on or give more energy to. See the bigger picture.
I used to say that God didn't give me anything more than I could handle, but don't know if I really believe that anymore, I don't know that they are from God, I think that life, circumstances, peoples actions, reaction and the choices I make give me those things... God, he is just there to help me through them.
You may encounter many defeats, but you must not be defeated. In fact, it may be necessary to encounter the defeats, so you can know who you are and what you can rise above. - Maya Angelou
