Monday, April 9, 2018

A humble kind of confidence

I am a pretty humble person… I enjoy serving others without a lot of hype about me. Over the years with all of my accomplishments academically, my writing career, published book, real estate awards and community service contributions… I have had to get use to some public praise. Now aside from my mom’s cheerleader like attitude and her constant praise of me over the years, the public displays of praise make me very nervous inside! Honestly it may not show on the outside but when all of these public displays of accomplishment, awards and cheering occur, my insides turn upside down. I am super embarrassed, I can’t often grasp that people put much emphasis on the things that I have done or do. I am serving God and others and I am happy to do it, I am dedicated to doing my best at everything I do and I am not sure that I feel that is something to be majorly rewarded for. Do I like the occasional pat on the back? Yes, yes I do, however I do feel most of the things that I have been awarded are unnecessary as I do what I do without expecting anything in return.  In fact after winning 40 under 40 from the Young Professional Networks (this is a real estate sales and community service award) 4 years in a row, this year I was nominated and didn’t even apply… and yes, I am still under 40… 1 more year in my 30’s and looking forward to what 40 will bring. I know what I have accomplished to receive this award so many times and I didn’t feel my sales volume or my community contributions this past year far excelled any other year that I have won and I wanted to sit back and open the opportunity for someone up and coming to showcase their accomplishments… helping others succeed is important to me. I love to share my secrets, what worked and didn’t work for me over the years and help others discover what they are good at and give an example of what they can and can’t accomplish if they just apply what they learn in a way that works for them. All of us are unique and have something to contribute to others.
Sometimes we lack the confidence that we need in order to be successful at what we do because we are trying to remain humble.. Sometimes we confuse confidence with arrogance and ego.. This does not have to be the case. There is a happy medium where you can be confident in your choices, proud of what you do and still serve others without the flash and sparkle of constantly being in the spotlight, but try to understand that when the spotlight does occur you can be thankful that what you are humbly doing to serve others is making a difference otherwise you probably wouldn’t be in that spotlight! The easiest way to accomplish this is to first remember why you are doing what you do… put the reason first- my reason is to help others and serve the goodness of God in everything I do. If sometimes our lives don’t seem as “good” as someone else we know, we are then comparing what talents and tasks God has given us to that of another person and we can fall victim to our negative thoughts of not being “good” enough… what is enough? Enough is not a number or a material possession but it is a way of thinking and feeling. We might think, if we are doing “better” than someone else sometimes we are too arrogant or prideful which can cause us to not perform at the best of our ability in order to not seem like we are showing off and this can also put us in a slump. If someone else’s life seems harder than ours are we entitled to feel pain, suffering or disappointments or will we look like whiners? This is when we need to turn our attention to God’s plan for our life… not our friends; our neighbor’s a celebrity, or that lucky person who just won the lottery! None of that should be measured against any other person going through something completely different than we are! No matter how our mind thinks we should be as good as, as lucky as or as rich as so and so… we do ourselves a disservice by comparing Remember it is in our nature to be caring.. to ask, how is she doing? How is he doing?This is what makes us good daughters, mothers, wives and friends. However it is not ok to ask how is SHE/HE doing compared to us.. we can get tripped up if our question intent is to compare our life to someone else for measurement.
 We need to Focus on God and the plan for our life and accept our challenge as an invitation to a greater success for ourselves. Enough is not a number you obtain it is an attitude you cultivate. God does not call the qualified, he qualifies the called. What are you called to do? How are you tapping into your unique talents and abilities? Take some time to listen to your heart to find out, or if you know what it is you should be doing… do everything you can to use those talents for a great good.
Each of you must examine your own actions. Then you can be proud of your own accomplishments without comparing yourself to others. Assume your own responsibility. -Galatians 6:4-5


Tuesday, April 3, 2018

A Servant's Heart

I got into Real Estate not only to have a flexible schedule and be my own boss so I could have kids and spend time watching them grow up... but to help people. Fast forward 16 years. I have had my ups and downs over the years in this profession, but it is truly rewarding when I am able to see the excitement on people's faces, the thrill in their voices and the positiveness of their mannerisms when they find the house that is meant for them or they sell their home effectively and are able to move onto the next adventure.
If I said that my journey doesn't come with any disappointing moments or deals I would totally be lying to you and myself. It also has its ups and downs. I am saddened when someone loses out on a home they thought was meant for them, or when the deal is sabotaged by the inability to close on the loan or when someone decides after spending time looking, inspecting and appraising and they just decide to back out, whether it is cold feet, intuition or a lack of self confidence that they can make their dream a reality.  Sometimes people list their home for sale and really aren't meant to move, they think they need to to fix a situation, but the Universe is telling them it isn't the right time and they take their house off the market. Whatever the circumstances are, I am left hard worked and unpaid, as just with any other commission job, I don't collect until it records and closes and the people move in or out. I often spend money, time and energy and come up empty handed. This year I have had more than my share (in my opinion) of these occurrences- buyers who get qualified and really aren't - sellers who decide to stay or even clients with cold feet and personal circumstances that they just don't follow through with their actions. It is easy to ask "why" do these people even have to come into my life if I cannot help them... but am I? In some way we were meant to connect.
Yes, I cannot survive and pay my bills on free service, however, I am always reminded that there is a reason why people come into our lives and the circumstances, lesson or "chance" meeting is not by chance- somehow one or both parties was suppose to contribute to each others life even if the end doesn't fulfill my monetary need.
God called me to serve people, be humble and make a difference and that doesn't always equate to extra cash flow, but He does provide for me when needed. Not everything in life is a need. Most of the stuff we have are wants. We may say we need a new pair of shoes, a car or a new rug... when in fact if we have those things already, we are far better off them some people are who have far less if any at all.
I am able to recognize that the girl who broke up with her boyfriend, threw up all day and decided that she just didn't feel comfortable buying the house on the last day of the inspection period when she was still able to back out, even though she said she knew she was giving up a good deal on that home was not meant to follow through. But her feeling or intuition must be stronger than my conviction to sell her that home and I don't convince her otherwise. Whether she buys a home next month in 6 months or in 3 years, I talked her through her struggle to recognize what was best for her and her family and helped her back out of buying a home that could have been the biggest mistake for her personally at this particular time in her life and that is satisfying to me.
Sellers who realize that selling their home will not permanently fix their financial situation, that the home they live in is beautiful and makes them happy- downsizing was what they thought would make them happy when truly they are happy right where they were at. These are the things that make me realize that my job is to serve others and making some money along the way is a total bonus but not always the reason I am brought into these people's lives- and I am ok with that.
I am true to my my talents and joys, and I let life help me with the rest. I have the power to thrive under all conditions.
What is truly right for you must ultimately serve others. 

Sunday, April 1, 2018

Renewed because I have been Redeemed!

Hello everyone! I have been locked out of my blog for awhile now and haven't been able to figure out how to get back in, I have used that as an excuse to halt my public writing sharing my feelings, insecurities and accomplishments with most of the world, but in all actuality I have used it as an excuse not to write through my problems and recognize what I am most good at, writing and reaching others while healing myself. 
Twenty-five years ago today I sat at my kitchen table as a new 14 year old, doing my math homework waiting as my parents prepared some strawberry shortcake for a weekday birthday celebration. As I plugged away at my work the phone rang. I remember immediately telling my mom that it was about grandpa, I knew in my heart that he breathed his last breath and that was the phone call to declare my thought was true. As my mom picked up the phone I cannot tell you how the chain of events happened next except I knew after years of struggling with the dreaded cancer word, he was finally free. Free of pain, free of struggle, free of burdens... he had went home to live with Jesus. 
Today, 25 years later, my 39th birthday on earth and his 25 birthday in Heaven happens to fall on Easter, something that hasn't happened for the last 62 years. 
My grandfather lived a life of trial, tribulations and triumphs and still found his way to eternal peace in Heaven, that I believe deep down in my heart that I will see him again some day. 
Some of my family/friends may know I have struggled personally over the past 6 months. If you can relate having the sense of people surrounding you yet somehow you feel alone! Doubts, fears, depression, sadness, sorrow, pain, emotions that have filled places that I didn't even know were possible, places that have been filled with happiness, joy, hope and celebration in the past were consumed by such negative self depleting thoughts. My escape when this happens is to busy myself with other things to fill the gap or pain. But when my business slowed down, my life  slowed down and my mind really took a hold of the void I was feeling losing my mom, my best friend. She filled so much of my life with things that no one else ever will. I have experienced death over and over from a young age, very important people to me. I have been trying my hardest to pull through these crazy feelings and emotions, and have tried even harder to hide it.. to put on my happy face, be positive and go on about my day, which consumed and overwhelmed me so much, I was not myself and people took notice, but most of all I took notice that I was somehow different.
A recent post from a past client - thank you lovely lady, reminded me that we all struggle at times, maybe not all in the same way, with the same issues or the same fears and doubts but everyone does in some way. Life is not always sunshine and rainbows... and you know what that is ok! Just because I have a down moment, period or section of my life journey does not mean I am a failure, a loser or destined for only negative things to happen in my life. It means I am human, I am a little lost and I need some guidance. Where do we find this guidance but in God himself, in the promise of our future and in the presence of His mercy and grace. Without that we would be lost forever, but because of that we are instead his sheep that he reigns back in when we slightly astray. 
My grandfather knew for years I was a busy body, I needed to be constantly moving, hustling, and keeping busy... as he wrote a poem about it when I was little. He loved to write poetry and he was darn good at it. I have written a lot of poetry, short stories, blogs and even 2 children's books!  Today I thank him for giving me the gift of writing, for sharing this day with me as our "birthdays" He will forever have a special place in my heart. 
As we celebrate Easter today, remember you are loved, whatever your struggle is, whatever you are going through whether good, bad or ugly. Be renewed today in the fact that you are a child of God, you are worthy of a life everlasting, no matter how you may not feel you deserve God's ultimate grace. He sent His only Son to make sure that you are not forgotten you are not alone and you are Redeemed.
 May you feel a sense of refreshment and renewal in your life today and remember yesterday was the past and tomorrow is in the future and all you have is today. Make it count. Love God, love others but don't forget to LOVE YOURSELF. 
Fear not for I am with you... Isaish 41:10
He has Risen Indeed! Luke 24:34
He doesn't promise a life without struggle, He promises eternal life- John 2:25