Wednesday, September 28, 2011

the dang post it

So apparently I am still waiting on the dang post it, I really don't care where I find it, preferrably my bathroom mirror, refridgerator door, steering wheel of the car, wherever it is delivered I would like it to be quick and sooner than later. I know I have said on several occassions that I am looking to find what it is that God wants me to do with my life, what direction to take and how to use my talents to the best of their abilities. I guess with the start of the book it is on its way, however I am looking to do something useful in the meantime.
With life full of so many choices, we are constantly in a battle with ourself whether we make the right ones or not. We can take steps, think we are headed in the right direction and end up empty handed, leading us to yet another fork in our road wondering if we just wasted our time or were suppose to learn a lesson. They say things happen for a reason and it may be much later on that we find out, if we ever find out why.
Take for instance the fact that my dad passed away in high school, I know that if he didn't I may have never ended up in Arizona, met my husband and ended up with such a beautiful son that inspired me to write and publish my first children's book, did my dad really have to die in order for these things to happen, probably not, but it led to the choices that I made that brought me here.
I am now at a cross roads where I am faced with decisions that may affect the course of my life from here on out, and how do I know that I am taking the right path or leap or even what direction to take that fork in the road. I will put my faith and hope in what I believe and follow what not only feels right but falls into place.
Again, "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain and what we do not see. - Hebrews 11:1.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Faith in what you don't see, trust in what you have

So sometimes it is hard to see that everything is going to be okay. When you go into a new adventure, a new project or start a new task. Do you have the support you need? Want? Are you expecting too much support or reassurance to get you through? How do you know that you won't fail? How can others believe in you if you are unwilling to believe in yourself. Does it show? What do you do to prevent yourself from getting upset? Having anxiety? Or worrying about the outcome your future?
We are only human and we tend to worry about what other people will think of us and if we will disappoint anyone else. Sometimes I think we are our worst critic and because we are afraid of disappointment in our self we somehow think everyone else thinks of us as a disappointment waiting to happen, everyone is constantly critiquing our choices, decisions and actions.
Are they really? Or are they worrying about themselves and not all that interested in criticizing what we are doing? I think that is the case more often than not. How do we get over it? How do we not allow our stress or anxiety to be taken out on someone else because we think that they aren't supporting us or they aren't doing or saying the things that we expect, do we really expect them to know exactly what we want them to do or say? Can we really control someone else or how they feel? Isn't that the reason that we are all individuals and we are different, why is it that we feel that someone else should read our mind or think exactly like we do? We shouldn't but often times I get caught in this trap as I am sure plenty of other people out their do as well. The trap of making someone else feel inferior or feel bad for the things that they say or do, when they are just being who they are and saying what they feel, even if it isn't exactly what I want to hear or expect. Sometimes it is hard to be easy on another person when you are being so hard on yourself. This is often the root of a lot of arguments and fights that most married couples have.
There is truth to the Men are from Mars... women are from Venus concept... and all the other like self help books out there. No matter how many of these books I have read about how men and women are different and should be treated differently, sometimes I fall into the trap of expecting things from my spouse that aren't necessarily something that is natural to his nature, in having these unnatural expectations I think we set our self up to be disappointed in that person, as they do us sometimes. Do we thank our spouse, our parents, our children, our friends when they do support us, do we thank them for the little things, do we thank them often? Or are we pointing out the things that they are doing wrong, the things that bother us or upset us and taking for granted the good that they do and we see in that other person. What attracted you to that person in the first place or made them your friend?
Don't you feel much better when someone takes the time to notice what you are doing right, I sure do, when they praise you for the little things you do? I am not saying to say "thank you" every minute of every day, but by showing it in your body language, your actions, your smile. By spreading your positive opinion and experience about a person to either them or others around you, it sets such a positive tone for your relationship and really doesn't take all that much effort if the person is deserving of it. How much more energy does it take to vent or express our disappointment in someone when they do say or do something that disappoints, hurts or frustrates us. If we did the same spreading of news when they helped us, said something sweet or acted in simply loving way, what awesome energy that we could create that would overpower the negative things and make them not seem such a big deal. Maybe we would harbor our indifference less, communicate better and not allow anything to build up that we crack when we are under stress or pressure. Tonight I am not so sure anyone reading this will have a clue how to even relate to what I am saying, maybe I am blabbing on and on for only the purpose of venting my own frustration out in words on paper that I seem to express at a much better level than verbally. Sometimes verbally I stumble, I am not quick to respond unless sometimes it is lashing out, which I know isn't the best method of communication. Sometimes I wish I could write everything I feel when I am upset, this way I can control what I say and get my feelings across to the other person in an effective manner, but I am sure just like me that opportunity isn't always feasible, especially in the heat of the moment. Sometimes we do and say harsh things, we can be rude, we can talk quickly without thinking it through. This isn't helping improve any form of verbal communication and doesn't really fix any of the frustrations we have with others. Sometimes in certain situations we don't have time to think before we talk, we lash out of fear and frustration at another and it doesn't make the situation any better. We have to learn that we are constantly trying to better ourselves every day, we are granted a new day every 24 hours to try again, we can't let past arguments rule our current situation, we have to remember that we can not change anyone but our self, we control only our actions, our words and our thoughts and our attitudes and reactions to those around us, but we cannot control those around us. Realizing this and remembering it is half the battle.