A Kind Elf 24 days of Kindness with Bonus deed.

 

So you may be used to the Elf on the Shelf, who shows up each morning in silly poses, doing mischievous things, hidden for the children to find... Our elf Tutti Fruit Loop showed up with a poem every morning for my son to find him, it always rhymed and it always had a clue for him. Sometimes he was doing something silly, once he planted seeds the night before given to him by the elf and woke up to a garden of candy canes in the back yard, sometimes he brought gifts, sometimes he reminded him of the true meaning of Christmas, reminded him Santa was watching and sometimes he brought suggestions for things my son could do to brighten someone else's day.. spread Christmas cheer and teach him the pure joy of kindness. 

This year being the first year that my son has discovered that Santa is a concept and not a real person who flies around and drops of gifts to kids every where in the world...that the Elf on the Shelf doesn't come to life every night and fly back to the North Pole to make gifts and he doesn't have a younger sibling to carry on the magic of Christmas, we have decided to share with you how you can encourage kindness in your kids through the magic of your elf! Pay it forward and ENJOY the JOY you bring to others.

The following are 25 suggestions on how to incorporate kindness through your kids and share it with others, feel free to make this a family affair and please post and share your photos or acts of kindness and tag #AKindElf. 

Feel free to use a few or all of them this Season. Maybe your Elf brings a note on the days he/she wants you to be kind, maybe you give the list at the beginning and your kids chose which things they want to do, maybe the elf says chose 5! Feel free to tweak them to fit your family and your kids! Remember that kindness can become a habit and doesn't need to just come out at this Wonderful Time of Year, but should be displayed throughout the year to bring smiles, love and happiness to others. 

1.Hold a door open for someone, or offer to return a grocery cart to the cart return or store for someone who is unloading their groceries in their car. 

2.Let someone cut in front of you in line at school or the store or anywhere that you are ahead of someone.

3. Surprise your teacher with a donut/muffin/apple, a small gift, a handmade note or some classroom supplies. Just because. 

4. Clean out your closet and donate a game, some books in good condition or a toy to a hospital, homeless shelter.

5. Tape $5 cash, or a gift card to a gas pump or self check out at a store with a note of kindness.

6. Make a card or sign for your mail carrier, trash person or UPS delivery driver tape a candy cane to it. 

7.Help make dinner and take extra to an elderly neighbor or someone who lives alone. 

8. Buy a box of candy canes at the dollar store and put them on cars in a parking lot. 

9. Give someone in class, a friend, a sibling or a teacher a compliment. 

10. Do an extra chore around your house without being asked. 

11.  Call a grandparent or family member you haven't talked to in a while and see how they are doing.  

12. Put a package of essentials together and give it to a homeless person. 

13. Give someone a hug and tell them you love and appreciate them.

14. Put sticky notes with positive messages in random places. 

15. Write a Christmas card to a solider and thank them for their service and your freedom. 

16. Donate a toy to your local Toys for Tots drive, adopt a child from an Angel Tree, or buy a new pair of pajamas for a foster child. 

17. Tell a joke, make someone laugh.

18. Take coffee or hot chocolate to a Salvation Army bell ringer. 

19. Look through your pantry and donate items to a local food bank.

20. Clean out your room and donate gently used stuffed animals to a police or fire station to use during emergencies to help calm scared kids. 

21. Make something at home, take lunch, cookies or cupcakes to your local fire or police departments .

22. Read a story/book to someone. 

23. Ask someone how their day went and be a good listener. 

24. Pick up trash or litter and put it in the garbage. 

25.Play something with a sibling that they like to do without complaining. 

Not Everyone's Cup of Tea

Chamomile, Earl Gray, lemon, honey, raspberry, green, black, white, hot or iced? So many different choices and not everyone is going to like the same. So why oh why would I think that I would be everyone's cup of tea? 

 What a stressful week of work related things, a few personal things and some other pressing things popping at the seams.  I was irritated that in a particular situation someone thought I did less than a stellar job, that no matter all the good things that I had done, the one thing that was beyond my control somehow ended up my fault. I repeated it over and over in my mind. I know I juggle many things and we all have times where we could have done better or have room to improve. Believe me after all these years of real estate, I am still learning new things and from my experiences everyday. Every person, deal, situation, circumstance and outcome can be different! I think that is why I really like it so much and having been doing it so long. It is definitely not boring. 

I don't know if any of you are like me but I really don't handle it well when someone doesn't like me, or after all my hard work and effort are less than appreciative. This is hard for me. I strive to be perfect even though I know I am not. I am hard on myself when I mess up, when I try so hard and it just doesn't work out, or when I can't make something come together they way they expected it. I try hard, I often give up money and time that is often unecessary just to make something work for the other person's benefit and therefore when my efforts are jabbed with a solid "I really don't think you did your job" of course I get defensive. Who me? The one with the kind heart and only good intentions... "yes you" it screams and the negative self talk happens. I end up stressed out over something I cannot control trying to make it right so no one is mad at me! Then I replay the situation and circumstances over in my head trying to fix it once again. You know, it is mentally and emotionally exhausting sometimes! My cortisol levels skyrocket in my fight or flight struggle in my body, no wonder I cannot loose weight!

Anyway throught my inner tormoil and speaking with a dear friend, she reminded me that I am not always going to be someone's cup of tea- no matter how hard I want to please everyone, I am just not going to. That often times I will receive the blunt end of someone else's struggle, issue or insecurity. A lot of times it is not even my fault at all! I being the kind, caring person that I am I get wrapped up in their drama and take it in, adopt it and deal with it even if it is only for short term during a transaction. But I take it in nonetheless and it becomes an added stress for me. And sometimes no matter how hard I try, how much I try to fix it or how much I do... I am just not their favorite tea. 

This helped me let go of the day's drama and accept the fact that no matter how many times I played the circumstances over in my head or thought of what could have gone differently to get the outcome they wanted, I had to tell myself that it was beyond my control and trying to "fix" how someone feels about you is usually a dead end deal that is not worth my time or effort and what is in my best interest is to let it go, move on and regain my inner peace.  

When I got the mail yesterday I received a wonderful thank you card from another client thanking me for an anniversary gift card I sent, telling me how much they enjoyed their new home over the last year and how much they enjoyed working with me on the sale and buy of their home. I was refreshed and ready to let go of what I can't change and enjoy the things that make me a better me. 

I need to just remember that I cannot please everyone, I cannot control all circumstances and I cannot take ownership of someone else's insecurities. I need to protect my God given body and mind and preserve it to the best of my ablility so that I can stay healthy for my family and me. 

Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on. _ Eckhart Tolle

Santa may be fake Mom, but the magic of kindess and giving is definitely REAL.

 For over a year now my kid has questioned the idea of Santa... from kid's at school to T.V. shows he has watched and has brought it up several times and I feel like I have always had a great come back dodging the truth.... until yesterday. On the way to practice we were discussing how different our school's Cookies and Cocoa with Santa event will have to be and I mentioned having to commission a different Santa (he is usually Santa's helper at the event, passing out Santa gifts, getting Santa water, escorting Santa to the bathroom, etc! ) He already knew Santa has Santa helpers because he can't be lots of places at the same time, I mentioned the new Santa being someone we know! He didn't say anything at first but then when he did I was like, open mouth insert foot here!!! OH NO! He looked at me with tears in his eyes and said, "Mom, Santa is fake huh? You and dad are Santa Claus..." My heart broke for him but I just couldn't "lie" or avoid the subject yet again! I haven't even told Steve yet, because he thinks by telling him I will be ruining it... I am just honestly not a good liar! I told him first off that St. Nick was a real person in Europe who took gifts to the needy and became the basis for Santa Claus, that parents and others carried on the tradition of love and sharing and gift giving and it evolved over the years into what is the present day Santa Claus. I also shared my story of how I came to know that Santa wasn't real when I was only in 2nd grade! My friend's father was the local Baptist minsiter and they just never did the Santa Claus thing, I remember going home and saying "Christy Lawrence said there is no such thing as Santa Claus, is this true?!" My mom and dad sat me down and explained the concept!  I am actually surprised that my kid made it to the 6th grade, yes with his doubts and reservations but still with that hint of belief, that in times past I wasn't ready to extinguish!  I also had to make it part of our discussion that even though Santa isn't real, just the concept of him was that God is fully and completely real and surrounding all of us that Jesus was born and died for our sins and reiterate what the word Christmas really means, and that there are a lot of people who grow up knowing that Santa isn't real and I was able to use some examples. He wondered why these specific examples of kids he knows well never told him. I said because they are your friend and didn't want to ruin what you were taught and believe. Not everyone is taught the same but everyone should respect other people's beliefs and values nonetheless. We also discussed how he shouldn't run to school and profess to others his new findings on this subject as there will still be people who haven't had this discussion with their parents and he will not know who has and who has not!  I also suggested that we could "be Santa" for a family in need this Christmas, and he liked the idea.In his sort of he already knew what I would say, to his semi-shock that it really wasn't real, we did not have any conversations regarding the Easter Bunny, Tooth Fairy or Elf on the Shelf.. he is a smart kid, but until he asks I didn't feel the need to confess to anymore lies at that moment. But seriously, the real person playing Santa Claus isn't real, not sure how you could continue to believe there is a creature in a big fluffy ugly bunny suit that comes to your house and gives you a basket... LOL! We were close to practice and he was trying not to get there with red eyes! 

  I have been seriously considering his elf on the shelf doing something totally different this year, even prior to yesterdays conversations anyway!

Remember my kid is 11 and I think that we have had elf on the shelf visiting for at least 9 years now... Tutti Fruit Loop who visits everyday after Thanksgiving somewhere different in our home, with a note that rhymes! Yes I am a writer but oh my gosh what was I thinking.... I finally started recyling them or changing them a tad just to not be exactly the same! I also incorportated the true meaing of Christmas into these rhymes to instill why Jesus is the most important part of this celebration every year!  Fun to do fun to watch him read the note(especially after he learned to read) and find where the elf was "hiding" with his little gift or funny/cute scene or note about kindnes or gifting joy to others, but definitely exhausting! This year the elf was going to bring ways that Paxton could spread the joy, love and cheer of Christmas!  Today a very dear friend gave me the idea to share this elf kindness with others, so stay tuned for Tutti Fruit Loops 24 days of kindness that you can use to instill the idea of kindness and giving with your children this holiday season. Starting Nov 30th I will post one Elf on the Shelf idea per day that your elf can bring to encourage kindness and giving in your children. Feel free to use them all, pick and choose and share your photos or results of your kindess on my IG and or FB pages! 

'Tis the Season to remember that kindness matters every day of the year, not just in one Season. Here is to you spreading the magic of Christmas, starting this month and continuing it throughout the year!