day 20 of 365

So in talking over some things with a co-worker today I came to the realization that I need to really identify my strengths, what has worked for me in past positions and what I can use as an opportunity to excel in my current business. This really rang true. I believe there are things that I do do well. I know for certain that I am great at a few things and never really thought if I could organize what I am really good at a create a position that I would love working I could actually pitch the concept to an audience willing to listen. What a thought or way to not only emphasize my strengths but to feel good about and enjoy what I do on a day to day basis. Really live my week and make it count for me and those who I serve. So tomorrow I will start writing down my strenghts to outline my first step in my project to success. I will then define each one and how it relates to what I intend to accomplish.
Success is a state of mind. If you want success, start thinking of yourself as a success. - Joyce Brothers

Today I am grateful that my son walked when no one was looking, but we saw him.
I am grateful for 1 more day of work so that I can provide for my family.
I am grateful an Awesome God that continues to bless me despite things
Every morning is a fresh opportunity to find God's Extraordinary joy in the most ordinary places -Janet Weaver

day 19 of 365

So I guess I took a blog hiatis, did I say I would post everyday or did say I would post for 365 days! Well, whatever, I did not post for a few days.
I guess I just really didn't feel I had words to put together that didn't sound like I was aimed at rambling on about nothing important.
Today it was again reiterated to me of how precious life is and how fortunate I am to be at this place in my life. No matter how unfair I feel things are going or the negative things that are happening in my life at this time. I know that we all struggle. I know that I need to put my faith and hope in the right place. I know that " with God nothing is impossible" - Luke 1:37
We have a few friends who we know are struggling WAY more than we are, with circumstances that are unimaginable compared to our own.
We have a friend with 3 kids who has cancer with a 50/50 chance of recovery within the next 5 years. I just recently learned that a friend of mine from high school was in a rollover accident in the mountains of CO this past weekend that left him severly injured and fighting for recovery. Please take a moment if you are reading this to pray for these families.

This is one of my favorite song lyrics: I listened to this everyday when my mother was in the hospital in 2006 and it helped sustain me.
Praise You in This Storm
words by Mark Hall/music by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms

I was sure by now,God, that You would have reached down
and wiped our tears away,
stepped in and saved the day.
But once again, I say amen
and it's still raining
as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain,
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away.

Chorus:
And I'll praise you in this storm
and I will lift my hands
for You are who You are
no matter where I am
and every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You never left my side
and though my heart is torn
I will praise You in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to You
and raised me up again
my strength is almost gone how can I carry on
if I can't find You
and as the thunder rolls
I barely hear You whisper through the rain
"I'm with you"
and as Your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise
the God who gives and takes away

Chorus

I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth
I lift my eyes onto the hills
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth

This song is truly beautiful and comforting. We know that not all things are in our control, not all things are going to be our will- we must acknowledge every breath we take as a miracle of living, we must savor every moment we have with those we love. We must cherish the good and work through the bad because one day could be our last and one second could change the course of our path forever. Our attitude and choice for how we live our lives can really make a difference if we can accept our circumstances and value or blessings or if we give up and allow the tragedies to get the best of us.
I am going to live my life to the fullest I can and be the best person I can. Although I am human and may need to vent or get a little pity every once in awhile I will pick myself up, dust myself off and truly feel blessed for my good fortunes.

Day 15 of 365

Today I am especially grateful for my mother, who would really do anything for me! She has helped me get to the place where I am today and has helped shape me into the loving, caring person that I am.
It has been almost 17 years this weekend that my dad passed away after having lived with "known" cancer for a short few months. It was the first week of my freshman year in high school. My mom at the age of 45 turned her world upside down to become a new person, one who had the sole responsibility and goal of raising me in the home I grew up in and taking whatever means possible to make sure I was raised with the vision my dad and her shared for me. She wanted to keep things as normal for me as she could. I sure knew what was going on, but I don't think I quite grasped all the sacrifices that she made for me, or really appreciated what she did then as much as I do now at 30+ years old.
I was able to have the things I may not have if she would have remained doing what she did when my dad was alive, or if she crumbled and fell apart in front of me. I am proud to be her daughter, proud of what she accomplished and proud of how I turned out despite my obstacles, disappointments, and fears.
I had a choice, we all have a choice, we can chose to be a victim or we can chose to be a success. I could have easily wallowed in my grief, became part of the wrong crowd, made unhealthy choices and made myself into that victim that everyone feels sorry for.
How many times have we heard- oh she is that way because she had a hard life, or she did that because she was depressed or you can't blame her didn't you know what she has been through?
We are all in control of our own selves, we make our own choices, and we create our own future. We can choose to be self-destructive or a self-motivator. We can chose that right or wrong path.
Don't get me wrong depression, grief, chemical imbalances, I get all that, they do exist- but we are the one who gets to choose to recognize and get help for our problems and get better or blame our attitude and our behaviors on our circumstances and set down the self-destructive path.
I think sometimes we simply play victim because self-pity is much easier than dealing with our issues. I believe that self-pity, depression and victimization take a lot more energy and time out of a person than facing the problem head on.
The saying goes "there is nothing that will happen to me today that God and I cannot handle together."
My mother was there to comfort me in times of need, to stand up for what she believed was right for me, to encourage me to do my best and not hold me back from my aspirations, my mother continues to be there for me every day even now and for that I am especially grateful.

Day 14 of 365

I did go to bed about 11:15, laid there for what seemed like forever before falling asleep. I guess that afternoon cup of coffee kept me a little wired, in my mind at least.
Paxton woke up about 12:50 but only in my ear for about 10 mins, I didn't even get out of bed to check on him, and then I was wide awake at 4:00, 15 minutes before my alarm went off, go figure.
So I guess I was really tired this morning, I kind of went along, not my usual bubbly self, until after 10:00, when someone on my team at work reminded me by saying how bubbly that I usually am, and pointed out that enthusiasm is contagious. I decided that I would probably have a better day if I was that person.I did try to turn all my negative comments around into positive ones. I felt like I motivated a few people today. I actually did get a little more energy, especially after I worked out at lunch. That work out gives me a little more stamina to finish out my day strong and on a positive note.
I wasn't too tired until now.
I am going to try working 6-4 with an hour extra a day. A little extra cash never hurt anyone, but I do think my bedtime will be a little sooner.
I have a few things that I would like to accomplish before I retire, this being one of them.
Today I am grateful that I was reminded that my bubbly attitude makes a difference, that I have the opportunity to work a little overtime, that I made it to work and home safely. The rain was awesome tonight and the lightening and thunder were amazing. We were standing outside at one point and I thought the thunder was going to bust our eardrums, I have never been that close before to hear it that loud, I can't even describe how loud it was. But it made me realize the beauty of nature, the awesome and amazing wonders that God presents to us on a day to day basis that we often take for granted.
It is truly a wonder the gifts he gives us that do not cost a dime and yet are so priceless, but worth more than one can ever fathom. Never neglect the little things.
Tomorrow I will spread contagious enthusiasm to all that I encounter. I will spread a little joy, offer that word of praise or encouragement, and show that my life is worth living, it is much happier than sad, I have many more blessings than tribulations and I can show others how to be satisfied with what they have by my example. You can't have what you want, until you want what you have.

Day 13 of 365

So today is really today. Good Job Dani!
I can't believe it is 10 pm and I am still up. I am not even tired. I am not sure where my extra bout of energy has come from but I will probably be crashing tomorrow. Nonetheless I wanted to share some reflections of my day.
So often times I hear and speak the phrase " I can't afford it"
I have read and watched many books and videos that tell you that you should never say such a thing. By saying this you are putting this thought out into the universe and you will continue to not be able to afford it. When we constantly say we "can't" do something we are limiting our success. This really is a downer, however we all do it. You would think it would be a simple fix to replace those damaging negative words with positive and hopeful sayings, and heck sometimes I do, but often times we revert back to our old ways if our results are not quick enough.
Take the gym for instance. I went today at lunch, I worked my upper body, I did a little spin on the bike. I felt great afterwards. It is Monday, I started off the week on the right foot. ( I have done this many times) I counted my calories and ate healthy... but how many of us try this for a period of time and either don't get the immediate results we are looking for, or we feel like we will never get to where our weight needs to be that the crucial minute that we have the opportunity to binge on that one delicacy we don't give it a second thought? We follow with the excuse that our "diet" or "healthy eating plan" isn't working or we will NEVER reach our goal so we might as well stop trying, and then we find ourselves falling back into our old habit or pattern.
I think we can truly overcome any negative belief that limits us. As the author Jack Canfield of the Chicken Soup for the Soul Series has said.
You can start by writing those beliefs you want to change in a list as step 1
Example: Nobody is interested in my opinion: What I think is not important
Then when you are finished with your list pick one and go from there.
Step 2 determine how it is limiting you.
Step 3 Decide how you want to be, act or feel
4. create a turn around statement to affirm or give you permission to be, act of feel that way.
For example: Negative: I can't do anything right, so why even try?
Turnaround: I can do many things right, and each time I try something new, I learn and get better.
(from his book Success Principles) How to get from where you are to where you want to be. None of us can change our yesterdays, but all of us can change our tomorrows. -Colin Powell
Today I am thankful for my beautiful house, my loving husband, my amazing child, my dedicated mother, my well behave dogs, my rewarding job, my multi talents, and God's unconditional love.
Tomorrow, I will again try to make only positive statements, and when I catch myself saying something negative I will replace it with positive thoughts, I will go to the gym, count my calories... and yes.... love myself for who I am because Dr. Suess says Today you are you, that is truer than true, there is no one alive that is Youer than YOU!-

day 12 of 365

So okay... .I guess I skipped yesterday... REALLY? I think sometimes my days run into each other! Well, I will write what I thought I would write about yesterday and then eh, I'll go on for today!
Sunday I realized... actually I knew this. That I am not sure if it is better to be good at one or two things or to try and do all the things you like. If you are involved in too many things, can you truly not be really good at one?
Do you put your time and energy into many things and it exhausts you? I think this can happen... but what do you give up? How do you decide what to let go. Maybe you enjoy each thing, whether it be a hobby, another form of money making or just something you like to dabble in and you don't want to say goodbye.
But are you truly happy spread so thin. Sometimes I think it is the thrill of being involved in many things, the fact that you can say you can multi-task. People look at you and compliment you for all the things that you have accomplished and continue to pursue.
Wow it really is a tough question to ask myself, or for anyone to ask for that matter. I do enjoy most everything I do, and the one thing that I would truly give up in a heart beat, I need as the constant and I can't let go.
So for now I have decided to pursue other things, as well as maintain the things I have going for me, something will eventually work itself out, and I can slowly give up those things one by one that are not so beneficial to the soul.
Now if this makes sense to you then good for you, and if it doesn't remember this is my reflection of my day, and it may not always make any sense to you, but keep reading- you may benefit from something I have to say in the future.
If your actions create a legacy that inspires others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, then you are an excellent leader. - Dolly Parton

Day 11 of 365

Yesterday was filled with busy! As we wrapped up the evening laying on the couch-no t.v. listening to and watching the storm I went over in my mind all the things I was grateful for that day. Simple things can go along way.
Paxton took a 3 hour nap, which allowed him to play more at his cousins party.
My cookies turned out good for Taryn's party.
I was able to get ready, work on some computer stuff and clean my kitchen from the cookies.
The burning smell in the dishwasher was just a spatula that got stuck to the coil and luckily we did not either experience a fire or have to dish out money for a new dishwasher at this time! Praises to God!!!!!
Steve got his Ford truck tires rotated (before we escape to the Mountains for Labor Day) and he was able to go to home depot to get stuff to fix or sprinklers in the backyard.
Paxton was in a pretty good mood, although I have come to the conclusion that he is evidently shy when it comes to big crowds of people until he warms up to everyone, even people he knows... his 1st birthday party should be interesting!
Even though it was hot and sticky, Taryn had a great birthday and we really enjoyed hanging out with everyone.
And that brings me back to the simplicity of enjoying the sound of the rain. Rain is a calming breath for me. I have always LOVED the rain, the sound, the smell and the blessings it brings to all the plants and crops to grow more hearty and full.
A small miracle from the sky.
My simple blessings of the day are many no matter how small they seem.
"Earth with her thousand voices, praises God" - Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Day 10 of 365

Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success ~ Henry Ford
I think this quote holds true for business and that was how it was sent to me regarding teamwork this morning, but I would look at the quote more as a reflection of marriage, marriage like teamwork is not often as easy as some people make it seem, and believe me you all know or have heard of the couple who just seems to be happy all the time and never ever agrues.
But in most cases.... that isn't the case- 24/7.
You may not always have the same agenda, and even if you do you may have two completely different ideas on how to get to the goal, even if it is the same. You have to be willing to work together and have a common goal to be a success.
It is a big challenge to learn to understand someone who is so different then you. Like I said in previous posts, we are all unique individuals and we should be allowed to have our own thoughts and ideas and not feel we have to conform to the ideas of others if we don't feel or believe the same way they do.
It won't always be easy, you may not always agree, you may not always want to compromise, but somehow the love and respect you have for one another will pull you through during the toughest times as long as you are willing to be patient, to love unconditionally and to allow that person to love you.
I have found that communication is key and that you need not be afraid to share your fears with that person, you should be willing to let your guard done, to not bestow judgement and to not feel the need to be defensive in all that you are doing or afraid to express how you truly feel, and that other person should be allowed to do that to you.
I say Thank God that we are different. How boring would it be if as a married couple we always agreed and always felt the same way as the other person. I definitely celebrate indviduality 100%.
Take it from Author Dr. Kevin Leman- in 7 Things He'll Never Tell You- who said it best that you did not marry a clean slate, and neither did your spouse, we were all shaped and formed by our mothers and fathers, our relatives, school and friends. From the very beginning of time, God created men to be men and women to be women... and so we see life from completely different angles. Being that we are completely different no wonder we don't think or act like one another.
In general to a man, life is about winning, to a woman, it's about the journey along the way.
Thank you Dr. Leman for your words of wisdom, for a glimpse into a man's thoughts so we may understand what we are dealing with better and know what and how to say things.
I have read this book a few years ago, do I need to read it again, you bettcha. Am I willing to give a little to get better results, I sure am. I don't want to live my life in constant chaos, I chose to look for the harmony.

As some anoymous source puts it "the goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together."

Day 9 of 365

So just about everything I have today is confidential and can't be put into print, fantastic... so what can I possibly write about, my whole day seems to be unbloggable(lol) is that even a word?
Well, lets go to my day in a round about way. Do you ever feel the need to vent to someone about something that you have "heard" is not right, not sure what you are trying to gain in the meantime? I spent most of my day combating other person's fears of the unknown, of what they were told was something that was not real or altered in such a way that it seemed every bit unfair and unreal to them. In calming them down and getting them to view a situation in a different light was truly exhausting for me.
As I would say my job today was one of a mediator. I could say in both my personal and professional life today I tried to comfort those that fear the unknown. To be the bridge between their fear and the truth. Am I fearless, heck no, but I chose to believe that things will work themselves out, that we cannot progress in life if we don't take a few risks and have a little fear. But I have to believe (as I will say time and time again) you have to TRUST your HOPES not your FEARS.
I think that I spend a great deal of my time worrying about what might happen and you know what? It might not happen, so I am wasting time that I could be doing other things or being happy with what I have and where I am in the current moment.
All of this because I am afraid of what may happen at a future date, that may NOT happen. I know this sounds a little silly, but it is true.
How many of us spend parts of our day contemplating the unknown, fearing what it is that might happen to us inhibiting something in our future plan or schedule so much that we are missing NOW. The power of now is really powerful and could just effect what will happen in the future, meaning we may have more control over what happens than you might think, make good decisions now, and if you aren't sure if they are good or bad, go with your gut, pray about it, listen to your inner self or whatever it is that you do, be confident in your decision. Don't turn back and know that you made the best decision for you at the time that you made it. If a few years down the road you find out it hasn't turned out to be the best decision you could have made, go with the fact that at the time you made the decision, with the circumstances that surrounded you and the feeling it gave you, you did the best you could.
- Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly. -Robert F Kennedy
Do you want to be safe and good, or do you want to take a chance and be great? -Jimmy Johnson
Progress always involves risk; you can't steal second base and keep your foot on first. -frederick wilcox
I have lived a long life and had many troubles, most of which never happened. -mark twain
Today I am grateful for the words I needed to speak to those who needed me.

Day 8 of 365

So today was a pretty great day, except my kid is screaming his head off in his room right now and even though he is so tired, he is having a hard time falling asleep.
I need to get to work on some BPO's I have the opportunity to do to make a little extra money to buy some "new" car seats because apparently car seats expire, so my thought to "borrow" or get them off of Craig's List will not be coming true anytime soon. Who knew? Due to safety features I suppose, like the wear and plastic and weathering conditions. A friend of mine even googled it today and I guess it is true. They have a 5-6 year life from the manufactured date, and a lot of them have a stamp on the back of the seat that says... do not use after (with a month and year). Which means that if it sits on the shelf for a year of that, then poof you have 1 year less to use it.
So not something I was really looking forward to spending my extra money on, (but at least I have the extra money to use) but I can't imagine not doing the safest thing for my child. However, I suppose I didn't even sit in a car seat, but then again we want to do the best we can for those we love and not let them down.

A friend of mine sent me this quote at work that she got from another co-worker, no one is really sure where it came from, but I really liked it and thought it was worth sharing.

As we grow up, we learn that the one person that wasn’t supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it gets harder every time. You’ll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You’ll fight with your best friend. You’ll blame a new love for things an old one did. You’ll cry b/c time is passing too fast, and you’ll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you’ve never been hurt because every 60 seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you’ll never get back.

I thought this was really true. We spend too much time worrying, trying to fix things, being unhappy, blaming ourselves for things that went beyond our control, being afraid to do the things we really want for fear of failure, that we don't concentrate on being happy, and if we did concentrate on this a little harder, we truly may enjoy our lives that much more.
I also saw this quote on the whiteboard at the gym today:
You block your dreams when you allow your fears to grow bigger than your faith.
You have to have faith to pursue your dreams, no matter what your dream is you have to trust your hopes not your fears.
Today I am thankful that I live in a country that allows me the opportunity to pursue my dreams.
Today I will worry a little less, love a little more, and be happy despite my circumstances, I don't want to waste my time being unhappy, because it truly is a minute I will never get back, and being unhappy really doesn't change what has already been done, so I think this will truly change things in my life and my dreams will begin to come true.

Day 7 of 365

At 31 years old I pictured myself in a little different place than I am right now.
How many times have you repeatedly heard that "life is a journey not a destination" yet we are constantly struggling to see our future, to grasp that end result but there never really is an end if life is a journey meant for us to keep learning and expanding our knowledge, our interests and our desires.
Society allows us to create this facid that we haven't yet reached where it is we think we need to be unless we have met some certain status quo created by others, society, peers, and our inner critic think we should be.
Truly, I think we are who we think we are, we are each in charge of our own destiny. We have the freedom of choice and we can be whatever we set our mind to. We can put as little or as much effort into creating our own self.
We however need not see the end picture but the journey we take, the mistakes we make, the triumphs and failures, accomplishments and adjustments and truly live our lives.
Definitely it is less stressful to think that we can continue our journey every day and keep learning, we are not destined to have to be something at any certain time period, unless we ourselves chose to do so.
Today I am grateful that I am where I am in my life, whether it is where I expected to be or not.
-"happiness is permanent, it is always there, what comes and goes is unhappiness. If you identify with what comes and goes, you will be unhappy-If you identify with what is permanent and always there, you are happiness itself." -Poonjaji

Day 6 of 365

Okay so I guess I fell asleep before writing last night, and then I woke up at 12 with a child with a tummy ache… so sad, and should have probably wrote since I was already awake… but did not.
My thoughts on yesterday: I took a Meditation stress relief workshop, on how to relax and calm yourself wherever you are. It was only about 20 minutes long and a lot of it I already knew but just did not take the time to apply it in my life.
I think a lot of people do this. We don’t think we have time for ourselves. It is really sad. I think that maybe if we did take that time for ourselves it may make our life better in other areas.
The workshop posed questions you can ask yourself to help relieve your stress on a daily basis by identifying what is causing you to be stressful on a regular basis, which situations are under your complete control focus on what you can do to minimize the stress from the sources you listed.
How much time do I really take a day for myself? I guess it varies. How much time do I wish I could spend on just me? Probably at least 2 hours of my 24 hour day. I really do love to do things for other people and it makes me feel good about myself to do this, but I rush through things for myself a lot of times to make more time to do stuff for other people and I really do suffer in the long run. I think if we could as individuals commit 15-45 true minutes a day whether it is at one time or in intervals we would be more productive as well as more appreciated by others.
Today my commitment to myself is to give 30 minutes per day to just me. Working out at lunch, meditating before bed or reading a book will help me relax and refresh to be more productive and beneficial in both my job and home life.
I am grateful that even though my son woke with a stomachache I was able to put him back to sleep for the rest of the night within one hour and go back to bed myself.

Day 5 of 365

So tomorrow is Monday.... The weekend I could say wasn't long enough, but I suppose it is the same length every weekend.
I am grateful that I got a lot of things done that I set out to do.
I think I will start by saying my week ahead is going to be a great one.
I will try to follow the advice of one of my favorite authors, Og Mandino.
One of his 17 rules to live by: Today and everyday, deliver more than you are getting paid to do. The victory of success will be half won when you learn the secret of putting out more than is expected in all that you do. Make yourself so valuable in your work that eventually you will become indispensable. Exercise your privilege to go the extra mile and enjoy all the rewards you receive you deserve them.
A co-worker of mine discussed a book she read that focused on the fact that most people live for Friday, but in fact if we are living for Friday every week for that 2 day weekend, we really aren't living Monday-Thursday, which is the majority of our week. Most of us spend 5 days a weeks at work and only 2 days a week off. Which means if we are always living for the 2 day weekend, we are only living 104 out of 365 days of the year, not including vacation or holidays. That is less than 1/2 of the year. WOW! Makes you think.
If we could only put as much effort into our work week, and actually enjoy what we do on a daily basis, even if it is not our ultimate job, we may tend to add a little more happiness to our lives. We may make a tad bit more effort and put our whole mind into what we are doing at work rather than constantly looking toward the future Friday when the 2 day weekend will be here, which may even lead to us performing better at work and turn into a promotion or two down the road.
So today I challenge myself to put my mind into every day, to give it my 100% like I mentioned a couple days ago, and to track and see if any positive results come my way. I will keep you posted.
I challenge anyone reading this to pay a little more attention to what is going on right now in your life, do not worry as much about your future because you just might miss something, right now today, that will for tell what your future holds.
Under promise, over deliver. Don't try to be all things to all people, do your best and don't expect too much of yourself, because others will too.
I could go through this day oblivious to the miracles around me, or I could tune in and "enjoy." - Gloria Gaither

day 4 of 365

Well, i would have to say for the night that it was I was surprised that today was a good day in a lot of ways. Tracker was up 15 times in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, I guess he consumed WAY too much water swimming last night... Really crazy stuff, but despite the fact that the dog interfered with my sleep schedule....

I am thankful that Steve and I both got our tires rotated, and walked around the shopping plaza with our son in the stroller. I am grateful I was able to help my mom and take her to get her tire fixed. I am thankful that Paxton was happy most of the day. That I was able to spend quality time with the family and take Paxton to visit Grammy. I just love to see the joy that she shows when she gets to see him, to see her 94 year old face light up. This is truly a blessing that she is still here to enjoy and be a part of our lives.

It is the simple things like watching your son try to let go and walk all by himself and try over and over, eating cookies at Paradise Bakery with your husband and child, and leisurely taking your time to enjoy the moment; all of these things make life not seem so rushed and chaotic but enjoyable and worth savoring.

Tonight is but short and sweet... but I really want to get some sleep..... night all.

day 3 of 365

Wow, what a day... it all goes back to the what if... when something goes wrong... as guess what it sometimes will, can we really make it better by playing the what if game, what if we were in the wrong place at the wrong time, what if we would have just done this instead? Are any of these what ifs changing the outcome of the day? I think not, but as humans we insist on going to that place over and over again, trying to rehash what went wrong and how we can change it, and guess what folks? WE CAN'T. So to me running it over and over in your head will only make it worse, because we can't rewind time and make it disappear. So if we stop pretending we can we would probably get over it a lot quicker by just excepting it as what happened and really move on.
Being a natural multitasking women who is full of emotion, compassion and sensitivity I often think like many women out there that we let others dictate what we should expect of ourselves and I think that is what makes us try to hard and end up disappointing not only ourselves but others along the way. Guess what, we can't do it all and we can't be all things to all people. When we accept that we are who we are and be a strong person in that sense instead of trying to be so many things, we will definitely prosper. I think we definitely learn these things from our parents and others we encounter along the way. We can chose to be a victim in any circumstance or we can chose to learn from it. We can have a little pity party.... cry a little, pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off, because if we can't erase it we might as well accept whatever the circumstance and move on. Why things happen is literally beyond my knowledge... but maybe God has some reason that we may never know. So i will just go with that, accept it.
There is nothing that will happen to me today that God and I can't handle together. And I say to myself, I am an upbeat, hope filled enthusiastic woman who trusts her hopes not her fears... I said this in an email to a friend several years ago, and she pointed out to me over the phone just a few days ago that she reminds herself of this saying many times in her life when she starts to think twice, get scared or doubt her choices. It almost gave me the chills that something I said years ago stuck and made an impact with someone else,; I was reminded that I must continue to say this to myself every morning I wake up and look into the mirror.
Today I am thankful for all the sacrifices my mother made when I was growing up to help shape me into the person I am today, despite losing my father.
I am thankful for my husband who loves my son with his whole heart.
I am forever grateful for the support I receive in all that I do from my family and friends.
Fear Thou not; for I am with thee- Isaiah 41:10

Day 2 of 365

So as I woke this morning and went about my day with a little weight lifted off my shoulders, i did my work with less stress, I was pleasant with everyone I encountered today, I was a little more calm and collected, why, I'm not certain. Was it the reflection from the night before. I guess we will have to wait and see if it continues on.
I had a student tell me that it was unfair that their instructor didn't give them points for trying, even though they got all the answers wrong, I thought to myself, what really is trying? The dictionary definition of trying in this case means to attempt to do something, but just because we attempt does that mean we are giving it 100% and if we are not should we really be rewarded for it? I think that if we are truly giving anything our "all" we will see good results, and if we are giving it 100% we shouldn't expect any more of ourselves. It is when we procrastinate do something with half the effort or do not give 100% of our commitment that we are quick to point fingers that it is unfair or we are not being rewarded for our partial credit. She also stated that none of her other instructors in classes other than English had marked off points for grammar or punctuation mistakes as quickly as this one, and another thought popped into my head. That could either make her lucky that so far in her program she had such lax instructors that she got by with her mediocre work or it could make her unlucky in that she was close to being finished with her program and she either never learned the proper way or developed some lazy habits.
How often in our lives when we don't give 100% or we take the easy way around things do we not only feel less adequate about ourselves but also need to redo or repeat something because it wasn't good enough, and if we would have just done it right the first time, even if it took longer or was more involved... we would have been better off.
My daily reflection is that I will try my best to give each person I speak to, every situation I encounter, every problem I am trying to solve, 100% of my attention at the given moment I am faced with it, rather than giving partially and then having to fix it later on, just causing more anxiety or stress that could have been avoided.

Today I am extra grateful for my really awesome connections at work- you know who you are... that make my day a little brighter!
I am grateful for my amazing son, who brings joy to my life.
I am grateful for my mother who taught me to be myself and to do the things that would make myself proud of me.

Happiness is the consequence of personal effort- Elizabeth Gilbert


History has demonstrated that the most notable winners usually encountered heartbreaking obstacles before they triumphed. They won because they refused to become discouraged by their defeats."

Bertie Charles Forbes
1880-1954, Financial Journalist, Author and Founder of Forbes Magazine

Day 1 of 365

Today was a day like any other day! I realized(already knew), no wait I was reminded.. that sounds better... That life has so many more things to be thankful for then we actually reflect on. We are so busy in our lives worrying about the future, comtemplating the past and trying to fix what has already went wrong or hasn't yet happened. Do we ever really live in the present for the moment? Many of us don't. We know that we should but we are too busy "what ifing" the past and preparing how we will take care of the future. I may sound a little redundant, however I think we need to reflect that this is something we do out of habit.
Humans in general are habitual. When we forget that we are living in the moment and we can only control what we have at any given moment. Dwelling on the past will not rewind time and allow us to do it over, no matter how many t.v. shows they have made allowing us to think that this is a possibility, nor can we worry about what may become of our future for it hasn't yet happened. We can only control our present. We cannot always control our circumstances, but we can control what we do, what we say and how we act. Our attitude has a lot to do with our outcome.
Over the next year I hope to live more in the present by spending the end of each day reflecting on only the good that has happened no matter how small and refusing to let others negativity bring me down.
Today I will start by saying I am grateful to be alive, to have the family that I do and to be on God's earth to share this experience with others.
I am grateful for my home and car, my job - no matter how much I would rather have less of a commute, get paid what I am worth or something I am better suited to do.
I will continue to be happy, strive to do the best job I can at all I do, and that is all I SHOULD expect of myself.
I want to be able to say that I no longer let my life or circumstances no matter how unfair they may seem control my life, I will control my life.
I am starting today committing to myself that I will no longer be a victim to circumstance I will only allow it to make me a better person.


thought of the day:
Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words.
Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors.
Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits
Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values.
Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny.

- Gandhi