Feedback for Life

It is amazing how someone's positive feedback on your efforts can really uplift your spirit. It almost makes me wonder why we don't try harder to compliment and point out the positive things that others do. If we notice something we feel is in good character, or goes above and beyond a normal gesture we really should let that person know. We shouldn't take for granted that that is just their demeanor. Even if it is just in the cube over from us and we really like something someone else had to say to the person on the other end of the phone, or we are praising someone for something little that they did even if they may not think is any big deal at all. I love to give out "thank you's" at work, even to the people who are just doing their job, but if you do it with a smile, you do it without complaining, you are quick to respond or I can tell someone simply enjoys helping people, I am going to point it out. It is nice when you recognize other people doing the same.
After sitting through a 2 hour presentation at work, my boss said to me thanks for your questions, I was a little confused and kind of felt the need to ask him why. He just said that he was grateful that I asked questions and participated in the session.
I think that this appreciation, though little and probably not thought necessary by most people, really shows that he is willing to be involved and engaged in his employees. I think in most situations, no matter what the relationship is, the little things do go a long way. They add up and over time can really make a difference in your outlook and your ability to continue to spread a positive message onto others.
It is these little steps that really don't take too much effort at all on our end to make a difference in someone's life, attitude and outlook.
So today pay some positive energy forward onto someone else, what you may think is only a little gesture, may make all the difference to that person.

Stopping Time

Do any of you remember the show back in the late 80's early 90's where the 3 year old girl discovers her father is an alien and she has super powers, she can stop time with her fingers and do or fix things. I just imagine sometimes what I could do if I have this power. Sometimes in the hectic days that I have I want to be able to just stop, rewind, or take a breath.
The little irritants and things that happen throughout any given day that sometimes just seem to push you over the edge of your sanity. You wake up a little late and think that you have extra time to do a few things before it is time to get ready for the day. Then your kid wakes up (on the wrong side of the bed) and throws a fit at just about everything you want to do, following you around the house wanting to be held. You decide to put him in his chair in front of the t.v. with breakfast so you can scramble around, hair half fixed and one eye of makeup done, trying to finish getting ready to get out the door, he throws a fit and doesn't want to eat anything, he just wants to be held and you have to think to yourself, "why today". You finally retreat to your bathroom just in time to hear your kid scream, you go rushing out and the dog threw up on the edge of the carpet, (couldn't have went slightly to the left and hit the wood floor I suppose) so then you have to stop everything you are doing, shove him outside and clean it up as your kid still whines from his chair that he wants to be held. You finally finish getting ready, everyone is dressed, you quickly throw the dishes in the sink promising yourself you will do them as soon as you get home, because honestly who is going to see they aren't done anyway, and you gather the 15 bags of stuff you "must" take with you. You walk out to put your kid in the car seat and he looks at you and says "mom, I poo", Seriously? Can your day get any more hectic? You load the car of your "stuff", grab the kid and go back inside, quickly change his diaper wash your hands and try again. You get a mile from home and realize that you left your cell phone on the changing table. You wonder to yourself, or maybe even scream out loud, "CAN THIS DAY GET ANY WORSE", can anything else possibly go wrong?
So you start out for the 3rd time that day already wishing you could stop time to get the things you need done in order to catch up to the time where you are suppose to be at in your day, or you just want to crawl back in bed pull the covers over your head and try again tomorrow.
These are the days that I need to remind myself even more of all the things I have to be thankful for and how much they outweigh even the multitude of frustrations that we can experience; including waking up late, unforeseen circumstances, dog's vomiting, crabby kids, traffic, accidents on the freeway, forgetting stuff at home and so on and really look down and be grateful that our shoes at least match!

Constructive Criticism

I was talking to a student yesterday who reminded me that sometimes we need to seek out feedback even when we think it might hurt our feelings. If we are truly wanting to improve our self we need to seek the feedback we need to do this. We need to let others be honest about their impression of us and we need to alter ourselves and stop trying to change others around us. Sometimes it may not be what we want to hear, sometimes we may be shocked to hear it but the ability to receive the constructive criticism can make a huge difference in our own life and how we get a long with others.
As hard as it is to receive the feedback I think it is even harder to give it. Not everyone is receptive to hearing what others have to say about them or willing to take it in and evaluate and improve for the future, but just as much as we want to hear what others think of us to help our self improve, we need to be just as honest and give that person our perception of them. Although we can't make that person take the feedback and do something with it, we can offer it and let them decide how they want it to make an impact on their own life, and in turn on others.
Today I am grateful for those who give me that feedback and allow me a chance to make myself a better person, because that is what this world is about, not being better than someone, just being the best YOU you can be and making a difference in other people's lives.

Women, Do me a favor today!

When you get pushed and pushed and pushed so far that sometimes you just want to throw your hands up and yell "ENOUGH ALREADY" can I catch a break? Can we get ahead? What is my lesson I am learning here? What is my next step?
I am still a firm believer in that yellow sticky note on my bathroom mirror, pointing me in the right direction, I promise I won't even tell anyone I found it. I know, I know that takes everything out of the fact that we have choices in life, we can choose what it is that we do, what our attitude will be and how we will face any circumstances, doubt, actions of others and so on. But sometimes, the circumstances, they SUCK, I'm just saying.
Sometimes I think we feel like we are the only ones that have certain circumstances and that we are the only ones experiencing the set backs, struggles and demands of life, but I think we would be surprised that even the people we think have it all put together or the ones who seem like they can juggle 27 projects in one day are also experiencing the struggles, they just hide it better than we do.
As a women, a mom, a wife and a daughter; academic counselor, Realtor, Scentsy consultant and children's author and the plethora of other titles that I am sure I hold, I know that life's demands can take a huge toll on our spirituality, health, mood, relationships and much more.
As a woman who strives to be perfect and multitask like many of us do, I have to keep reminding myself every day that I AM NOT PERFECT, say it with me, I AM NOT PERFECT! When we expect this from ourselves, people around us start expecting it as well. It is like the old principal saying- Under promise and over deliver, they will all be impressed. Over promise and fall short, the disappointment will follow- Don't do so much or promise so much (even with the best intentions) because you are not only going to set yourself up for disappointment, you will train others around you to be disappointed as well.
So today do me a big favor - look at yourself in the mirror and say I AM NOT PERFECT! I like me for who I am and what I can do, I will do my best today to be the best ME I can be, to not compare myself to others; their looks, abilities or financial situations. God made me unique and I will use my talents, abilities and strengths not only to be the best ME, but to lead others by my example, and I will expect no one else to be perfect either, I will love and forgive and cherish every moment of this day.

calm and collected

So I don't know how many people have vision boards, but I did one about 5 years ago and put lots of clippings, pictures and things that aspired to, wanted or wished for on it. It is about 16x20 so pretty big. I had it hanging in my office until we built it in and there was no place for it to hang, so I hung it above the closet doors in the spare bedroom where I work out. I first got the idea from the movie The Secret and since have heard a lot about these vision boards, there are plenty of things on it that have come true, my mountain bike, my little boy and my published book baring my name- and some that I am still waiting and hoping for. The concept is pretty simple, what you put out there in the universe you will get back. So just remember that goes for good and bad things, if you are constantly saying you are late, you are late, if you constantly say you have bad luck more bad luck will come your way, if you truly believe that good things will happen to you, they will.
Anyway enough about that. My day yesterday had a few things that I thought worth mentioning in my words, however last night I was truly drained when it was finally time to go to bed, and I did just that, went to bed, so the computer did not get my words.
The one thing that did happen to me after about a year of struggle and worry was resolved and I was extremely grateful and relieved when the worry, turned problem, turned obstacle, turned burden was somehow not of too much concern for me anymore, I wished for the positive outcome, I envisioned the positive outcome and even though it took what seeemed like forever and caused some problems along the way, and although it wasn't exactly as I would have had it, it turned out to work out in my favor nonetheless.
When I got home from work I needed to grab something out of the spare room and when I walked in lying smack dab in the middle of the floor was a magazine clipping of the words "Calm and Collected". It was hanging above a picture of my dream tub (this is funny for me to say, since I really never take baths, that I have a dream tub) on my vision board.
The fan was on high so I am sure that is exactly why this clipping fell off the board, however, out of all the things on this over sized board to fall off, this wording was exactly what I was feeling at that moment and time. Was it a sign that I could move on and put my past issue behind me, that that chapter- that door was finally closed and I could spend more time looking toward the future of good things to come? I don't know, but I sure hope so.
For those of you who know me well, I am generally a positive person, I look for the good even in the most difficult or bad situations. That is how I keep my faith, my hope and my belief in myself and my goals and dreams. That is how I wake up every morning knowing that I am here on earth for a purpose and that I can brighten someone elses day and serve people.
I am grateful for the blessings I receive, for my family and loved ones who support and comfort me.
Count your blessings, instead of your crosses. count your gains instead of your losses. Count the yes's, instead of the no's. count your friends instead of your foes. Count your full years, instead of your lean. Count your health, instead of your wealth, and count on God instead of yourself. - Author unknown.

calm

So my new goal for this week is going to remain calm. I tried this a few days, no matter what happened to me I took a breath and counted to 5 and remained calm. Because really what does getting upset do? What does yelling do? What does bitching about the situation really do? In my opinion, NOTHING, it doesn't change it, it doesn't erase your circumstances, it doesn't stop time or allow you to go back and change the course of events, it doesn't do anything but temporarily make you feel slightly better and yet at the same time overwhelmed and you exert a lot of energy in the process. I think that if a situation is happening that is really beyond my control, I must face it head on and just deal. In many situations I feel like I am spending half of my day sometimes following up on things that other people say they are going to do. No matter who or what. For example someone from a bank or insurance company who is "checking" into your claim, and 3 days later after hearing nothing you have to follow up. But you know what, I may as well call and follow up because frankly I am the one seeking the answer and I guess instead of bitching about what someone didn't do to inform me of something, I might as well just find out.
So onto my new calmness for the week. Hopefully I can stick to it.