The card in my pocket

Waking up this morning to good news with another happy seller receiving an offer on their home always makes for a good start to the day, even on days when the sadness creeps in. This day every year is somber in the fact that my dad left us to go walk the streets of gold, only 2 short months after they found his cancer. I will always replay that day in my head, at the hospital, with my mom, my godmother and my brother. The powerful experience of watching my dad go to Heaven. Without that experience, without the presence of the spirit I felt on that day, I may have not gotten through the last 20 years still a Believer. I am not saying I do not have my moments or days of doubt when things get sticky- but I always fall back on my beliefs. From that day forward Believe was my most favorite saying. Believe in Yourself, Believe in Your Abilities, Believe in others, Believe things will get better, Believe in forgiveness, Believe in God, Believe in what is to come, I could type on and on. One of these days I will have that tattooed on me somewhere. I will never be able to have those years back, but I will be able to always bask in my memories. Most of us find it surprisingly easy to take for granted the gift of life. With recent tragic events in my own little town, ( a 2 year old drowning in a pool, a 16 year old recklessly driving and flipping a golf cart, a military young man who just came back from tour who died in a motorcycle accident) lives shortened that were never announced or expected, it makes you wonder how prepared is the world around you if you were no longer here tomorrow. Did you make a good impact? Did you take good care of those people? Did you find happiness in the little things? Did you stop your day to take inventory and appreciate those things around you? We should all take inventory on the blessings in our life. You add value to people when you value them. -John Maxwell. Joy is what happens to us when we allow ourselves to recognize how good things really are. Marianne Williamson It is too often we get caught up in the rat race of this world, all the expectations that we have for ourselves coupled by those who expect from us that we forget to be grateful for what we already have, enjoy the people that we value, and count our blessings. Before you know it something could be taken from you that you really thought would always be there. Did I ever anticipate losing my father as a freshman in high school? Did I ever even consider at that young age that he would never be at my side for my first dance, my first date, my high school or college graduation, my wedding, or the birth of his grandson? The thought NEVER crossed my mind. Do I know that he was there for me in spirit, I do BELIEVE he is. Do I Believe he knew how much I cared and appreciated him. I do. I talk to him a lot. He doesn't answer me back, but I feel he is proud of what I have accomplished of what I am doing in my life. Knowing that I want to continue to make him proud I try my hardest every day to be the best person that I can, to succeed in my endeavors, to put my family first, to be kind and gentle to everyone. I know sometimes it is a struggle, I am only human, but I don't want to disappoint him, I want him to continue to be proud even if I can only feel it. As I sit here writing with tears streaming down my face, even 20 years later I thank him for developing me into who I am today. Would I be a different person if he was still here is hard to say and not something I want to even consider going back for. I am who I am today because of my circumstances. You cannot always change your circumstances but you can change yourself, your attitude and your reactions to those circumstances. You can allow yourself to be knocked down and stay down, or you can climb right back up and try again. It is in your control who you want to be, what your next move is and whether you are happy or not. don't forget you are worth having everything you love. Love yourself. Be not faithless, but believing. -John 20:27 From the inscription on the grave- Love one another as I have loved you, -John 15:12 Thank you Daddy for the memories, for bringing me to this earth to make a difference and for helping me to keep BELIEVING that I have a purpose. Happy 20th Birthday in Heaven. I carry this card with me every where I go as a constant reminder that if I just be myself, I can be and do anything I set my heart out for, because I am loved.

Mint Apple Jelly

This morning went a little crazy. Working on some real estate stuff after I woke up trying to have a productive week ahead, I lost track of time and woke Paxton up a little later for preschool than I wanted to. He exclaimed "I have to go to school, AGAIN?" He wanted to 'play' for 5 minutes (which in his mind 5 minutes is eternity), I needed to take a shower and get ready for an appointment. Making my super long list for the day I was overwhelmed not only looking at it but writing it. Can I shove it all in? What can I delegate. After my shower as my 3 year old serenaded me with his guitar and I had to announce the performer (him) and sing along, I quickly had him brush his teeth, made him a peanut butter and mint apple jelly sandwich (his and daddy's favorite but a little not so common or expected choice by many); filled up his thermos to which he said he preferred a bottle of water- couldn't find a permanent marker to mark his bottle for school- ah, Found IT! Move on- I then then went in his room to grab him some clothes to get ready and out the door. Upon reentering the kitchen the dog had not only got in the garbage can to pull out last nights dinner but yesterday's coffee grounds I dumped this morning on top of that. They couldn't just fall right onto the tile, too easy for me to clean up, they had to dribble all the way to the shaggy area rug in the middle of my living room floor and somehow fall just right that even the vacuum had a hard time sucking around the long twisty fibers! Paxton got dressed and brushed his teeth and hadn't touched his sandwich, he couldn't find the hat he wanted to wear and after searching all over the house he finally picked another, (train hat- too cute and made me smile amidst all this chaos) and then dumped his sandwich walking out the door, now full of dog hair and crying to make him a new one. I had him quickly put the dogs up and made him a new sandwich leaving the bread, and goods all over the counter to clean up later. Half ready myself with not much time to come back and spare,(luckily his preschool is 2 miles away) I took him to school to drop off where we dropped his bottle of water in the car apparently and he wouldn't let me leave holding on for dear life that he "needed" me to stay today. After excusing myself to go find his water that he had to have (I shouldn't be complaining right it is a good thing he will drink water), I had the preschool teacher's husband who was outside take the bottle back up so I wouldn't get stuck there again. Is it Monday???? I guess so! So I am reminded of one of my favorite tunes by Francesca Battistelli entitled "This is the Stuff". When I am running around and rushed even if my intentions were good or I thought everything would fall into my time crunch things come up. Unexpected things throw you off, you throw your day into a slew of could be crazy spiral and out of control events. I am reminded to stop and breath, pray and thank God for all my blessings, no matter how crazy no matter how small. I am here on earth blessed with a healthy family, a home and loved ones that I truly care about and care about me. Life is Good. I lost my keys in the great unknown And call me please 'cause I can't find my phone This is the stuff that drives me crazy This is the stuff that's getting to me lately In the middle of my little mess I forget how big I'm blessed This is the stuff that gets under my skin But I've gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing Might not be what I would choose But this the stuff You use 45 in a 35 sirens and fines While I'm running behind Whoa ho ho This is the stuff that drives me crazy This is the stuff that's getting to me lately In the middle of my little mess, I forget how big I'm blessed This is the stuff that gets under my skin But I've gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing Might not be what I would choose But this the stuff You use So break me of impatience Conquer my frustrations I've got a new appreciation It's not the end of the world Whoa ho ho ho Oooooh This is the stuff that drives me crazy This is the stuff Someone save me In the middle of my little mess I forget how big I'm blessed This is the stuff that gets under my skin But I've gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing Might not be what I would choose But this the stuff You use Whoa whoa ho ho This is the stuff You use.

Key to staying calm

"Life is divided into three terms - that which was, which is, and which will be. Let us learn from the past to profit by the present, and from the present, to live better in the future." William Wordsworth My biggest lesson from the past to help profit my present and live better in my future (however, I will probably not master it) is learning that I cannot control everything. WOW THAT IS A NEW THOUGHT! Yesterday I had several things on my list to get to and although I would have liked to wrap them all up in a "convenient for me package", that is not usually how the day goes. I can plan as much as I can and things come up, the amount of time I think it should take to accomplish something doesn't or the quick trip I may need to take turns into a lot longer than anticipated. This seems to be the case on more occasions than not. When these things happen we have a few choices, turn around and try some other time, get upset and complain about something we cannot control or wait it out and finish the task. Yesterday I needed to go get a key made for a client and decided that Wal-Mart was probably my best and least expensive choice. I also had to return something. As I was at the courtesy counter and realized I didn't have the exact receipt I needed (only about 20 other ones) I just decided that instead of coming back at a later date or getting upset with myself for not being prepared, I would just get credit and use it towards another purchase in their store. 1 task down. I had broken the arm off of my awesome sunglass find from the Pinetop Wal-mart over 4th of July break and wanted to see if I could just buy another pair- cause at $5 it would probably be cheaper than buying the screw that was missing. Of course they didn't have the same pair or any decent pair for that matter at the cost of $5. They had decent ones for $10 or $12. Knowing that I am really not that careful with my sunglasses. I just walked away. I got to the automotive where they make keys and realized that I didn't have the key ring I had when I was standing at the courtesy counter that needed to be duplicated- (yes, the only key I could find that would fit this home, wouldn't you know it). I could have and at some point probably would have freaked out that now I had to pay a locksmith to come rekey the entire house, but at that point I chose not to. I proceeded back up to the counter calming praying that it would be there and that I didn't drop it somewhere in between and someone had already picked it up never again to be found by me. To my relief it was laying next to the credit card key paid where I took back my other item. YAY! I thanked the lady and then proceeded back to the automotive where there were, go figure, at 3:30PM in the afternoon, on a Thursday, 3 people in front of me also needing keys made... REALLY? So here is when I could have left, went somewhere else to have them made or just waited until it was my turn. I promised the client I would deliver them today. I chose to wait. 18 minutes later I had my keys in hand and started to walk away when I encountered a past client that talked to me for about the next 10 (where was she when I was bored waiting in line for almost 20 minutes?) lol... anyway I remained calm throughout all the little things that I would have normally stressed out about taking so long, remained my level of happy thoughts and was able to come home not having done everything but feeling a lot more in control of my thoughts, my day and my attitude. I felt like my evening went more smoothly, I was less irritated than normal and able to enjoy dinner, my child and my night. There will always be more time tomorrow to do what is needed.

Your child's "do it" Button!

How many of you work hard to get your child to do something you ask? How many of you fall back on good ole getting angry, frustrated and discipline your child for not doing the things that you want or expect? Reading the book 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas W Phelan, Ph.D. can equip you with great ideas, not only on how to get your child to stop doing something but also to start doing something. It will give you ideas that will work for you and your child. As many of you may know I am not really all that competitive. Try as I might it just usually in most areas of my life isn't that important to me, I am here to help others succeed as well. I like to be good at what I do but not necessarily competitive if someone else is better. Sure I tried sports in school and played tennis in high school, I excelled in academics and was on different teams, played flute in school and always worked hard to get 1st in recitals, graduated 3rd in my high school class and Magnum Cum Lade from college, all of those things I consider more competitive with myself than others. However, I have come to find that when raising my son, competition is one of the things that gets him to do the things I want/desire him to do. It mostly works for picking things up around the house, getting stuff accomplished and now I have found doing PRE-K homework. If I can make it a game of who beats who and not letting someone else (mostly me) beat him to picking up, putting the dishes in the sink or brushing teeth, getting dressed, who is going to be the best behaved child at dinner, etc. It seems to work a lot better than getting angry, upset, yelling, reprimanding or punishing him for something. Last week I had an appointment that ran late and was trying to attend a San Tan Valley Chamber of Commerce Mixer when Paxton called saying that he didn't want to do his school work due the next day! My mom felt like she tried everything to get him to cooperate, and had about enough to let him call and reason with me. I reasoned with him on my car ride, offered for him to have a Reece's PB cup when he finished and to my avail no matter what I offered he was just not interested at all in doing his work. He said matter-of-factly that he would be able to do his work when he was 4. Which I reminded him was a little over a month away. He said he knew and that he could do it then. Well about 5 minutes into this pleading conversation I realized that maybe if he beat someone else to getting his homework done that he would be a little more interested. I got my mom on the phone and told her to make a copy of his worksheet and tell him that she bet he couldn't finish before her. It worked for that sheet, I also told her that if he completed the first sheet with her I would do the next sheet with him. That also worked and he "beat" me with it the next morning before school! Lesson learned, when homework comes home on a Monday and it is due on Friday, don't wait until Thursday to start it! Spread it out for the week, make it fun (in a way that your child is receptive). Don't do what doesn't work. If it works for someone else, it may not work for your child, if it works for one of your children it may not work for the other. Find what works, find what interests your child to do the things you want and need them to do. This will 9/10 avoid struggle. Personalize it! We are all different and we are all more receptive and coaxed to do things when we enjoy what we are doing. Good luck finding what works for you and your child! Remember it may take quite a few things tried before you find their receptive button! If you get a chance read this book, it may make a huge difference.

Smell "Your" Roses

I am once again faced with a dear friend in a battle for her life. I know that in my heart it is a matter of time before the good Lord takes her home to a better place. She means a lot to a lot of people. She is a stronghold, a family tie, a women that I have known for the last 15 years who did everything she had to in order to provide and survive. So often I question "why" why certain people who are kind and caring, put other's, their family first, do good to all and are the ones who suffer here on earth or that we lose first. They may be the family stronghold, the breadwinners, the ones who are the most supportive and yet they can get sick, have an accident or lose their life so quickly but the ones who are least deserving stay here and get to continuing living. I have lots of theories but I know that I may never know. It just often doesn't seem fair. It does however remind me that being in a hurry is not always the right answer, making the most money is not always the right answer, having an agenda doesn't always pay off, if we are not enjoying anything in the process. When we are kids we have no sense of time. We have all the time in the world to get the things done we need to or want to, as we age we gain more responsibilities and start to hurry- to rush through life really not paying attention along the way- and then we teach our kids to hurry- often times to a fault, hurry and get in, hurry and get dressed, hurry and eat, hurry and finish, HURRY, HURRY, HURRY! While hurrying did we enjoy anything that we just hurried for? Most of the time I would say the answer is no. I recently went on a short unexpected but much needed trip away from my son, husband and my immediate family. It allowed me to relax and reflect on what I do have and what I missed at home, making my return ever so sweet. Ever since my return I have tried to slow down, to appreciate what I have every day, not to have such demanding expectations of myself or my family. To "stop and smell the roses!" To appreciate what is handed to me on a daily basis and know some things are way beyond my control and allowing myself to control my thoughts, attitude and reactions is more important than trying to control circumstances that I cannot change. God, give me grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things which should be changed, and the Wisdom to distinguish the one from the other. Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time,Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, Taking, as Jesus did, This sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it, Trusting that You will make all things right, If I surrender to Your will, So that I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen. Wake up this morning. Don't be in a hurry. Enjoy what you have as if it is the last time you will have it. Spend time with those you love, do not hurry them, enjoy what you have, enjoy what you do, life may be shorter than you think, for you or for someone you love. DON'T take it for granted that you or anyone else will be here tomorrow, to make up to, to enjoy, to appreciate or to forgive. “However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows" Matthew 24:36 NLT