Am I teaching my child respect?

I was sweating like a fiend today as I helped my hubby unload the heavy pitcher's mound and other baseball equipment from the truck to trek over to the field. It was a stagnant hot with NO air movement at all and my head was drenched... I can thank my mother and grandfather for that! Crazy sweaty people! Sometimes genes are not my friend. Anyway, I was hot, and let me just tell you, I may not be the most "happy" person when I am hot, I am not always grouchy but things can really irritate me more easily at these moments. As we are setting things up getting ready for practice to start and before all the boys got there, the three of us are on the field and here comes a pre to teenage boy riding his bike right past us and onto the field where we are about to practice. Steve looks over at him and says "Don't ride your bike on the field okay, " The boy rides around then rides right past us to go out the other gate, looks at Steve with a grin and in a very sarcastic tone says "You're Welcome." Wow, I totally wanted to be that kid's mother and slap him in the face. No joke. I was so aggravated at his response to an adult asking him to not ride his bike on the field, the field we were obviously using. I look right at Paxton and said if you are ever disrespectful to an adult like that I will beat your little butt. Honestly I am not a discipline hitter, I am not, but I was so mad that this kid was so disrespectful that that is what came out of my mouth. At my own child... He proceeded to ask why since the kid said you're welcome was it being disrespectful... So we had a quick little lesson in always doing the right thing, sarcasm and responding to an adult with a "oh, I am sorry" and moving on... not a smart a.. comment like the boy gave Steve. He quickly understood what the boy did wrong. It was a good teaching experience. However, on my way home I contemplated if respect is something you teach or model? I know that we have always told Paxton to respect his elders, respect others by being kind, considerate and polite. I was really curious what the definition of respect was... so I looked it up. In every definition it talks about admiring another person because of their achievements, abilities or qualities. In a way when we talk about respecting others how does this really play into total strangers? It is hard to admire someone you don't know right? So then I questioned if I knew the meaning of admire! Hmmm... so I looked that up too! regard- (an object, quality, or person) with respect or warm approval. Varying Levels of Respect. We live in an indifferent world. As a result, people treat each other with various levels of respect and, sometimes, total disrespect. You may have behaved respectfully or disrespectfully to others in front of your children. This in my opinion displays that respect is modeled, not taught in most cases. Our children learn from our behavior. Yes, we are human and yes, we make mistakes but we really need to be careful what message we are giving our children because they are like little sponges who absorb and want to do everything like us, because they respect and admire us... So next time you are quick to have road rage, make judgments about people, talk negatively about others in front of them or become disgruntled... remember you ARE the model, in most cases they are wanting to be. Think first what you want them to hear and see. Ephesians 4:29 ESV Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

No Picture RE-takes, just pick me UPs!

Do you have ever have one of those weeks where it just seems like all kinds of crazy stuff is going on? Where nothing seems like it is going your way? Things crumble, you aren't doing something right, you have more frustrations then you care to count, people are throwing curve balls right at your head? I know that I have and I am sure we all have at some point or another. We CANNOT always control our circumstances, but why do we have to allow our attitude and our self talk to go in a negative direction? We DON'T, but we often do. When life gives you trials, hiccups and stress, sometimes we turn to all kinds of things to "fix" our sadness, hurt, or despair. We vent to others in all directions, sometimes we are so mad we talk negative about other people, we crash our healthy eating plan with the instantly satisfying but not quite gratifying treat or beverage, maybe we whine, we cry, we go over and over in our head how we were wrong or how the situation could have been different and talk ourselves down or make ourselves the victim or even the cause... guess what? None of this is helping! This behavior doesn't help and it doesn't fix the situation. It was delivered to us just the way it was. We cannot change it, we cannot erase it and re-record like videos today, or pose again for the picture we didn't like so we only post the best one. I will spare you the details of the multitude of things that I have been posed with, upset about or have been thrown at me since last Friday, somethings I cannot share anyway. However, I will tell you that not a single one of them should change me as a person, except in a positive way. Not one of my frustrations defines me, not one of them is even life-changing or terminal! So then WHY in the heck am I so quick to allow them to even enter the thought closet in my head and take up space! Seriously... there are things that need to be dealt with in life but they don't need to take up anger, worry or self doubt in my mind, they just need to take up the space that offers solutions. I had a few encounters this week that have turned my negative attitude into one of total gratitude... it is my goal to always be a positive person, find the good in all situations and move forward, however sometimes this isn't the way it goes and I need to be rescued from my own destruction. I also need to remember that God has my back and he alone should be the one I turn to in faith and hope when I am feeling like I can't get my happiness levels back on track. When people are concerned that you are acting out of character you know you are in trouble... I had to ask myself if I was allowing my circumstances to offer suggestions to others that I was not living my life in the way I preach but in a way that was reflected and something negative and bitter? Totally out of character for me... and people were starting to notice! Sure sign that something must change within me to reflect the true me on the outside. The positive started to turn back on in my brain with a Tuesday morning coffee talk with a local pastor who as I spoke to him about my service to others, my goals and my fears triggered not only his positive response but my purpose restored. I had a lovely day with my Minnesota Mamas yesterday who whisked me away for a girl's day... with lunch and shopping, good vibes and even gifts... gotta love being spoiled once in awhile, especially when you love to spoil others most often, it is nice to get back when you least expect it. Good news from my son's teacher in the middle of the day that he got 100% on a reading comprehension, reading is not his strong suit and knowing how proud I felt that he was "getting it." This deserved a surprise present from me when he got home... I truly find joy in other's reactions when you give to them! It really warms my heart. I came home to a husband also bearing a gift... I have been complaining for the last 3 times I have made waffles how annoying my iron is no matter how much I spray it... it sticks, the batter sticks and the boys end up eating waffle crumbles. A brand new waffle iron. So maybe it was partially self-ish... so he could eat better waffles that stay together and not have to listen to me whine and complain about it while trying to make them... hahaha... but nonetheless thoughtful! I enjoyed a mom's dinner and some conversation with some great girlfriends last night as our boys went to youth group and was blessed with some extremely kind and motivating words from an amazing cancer survivor this morning who is an inspiration and I am truly excited to get to know better this year! I need to remember that I alone should be able to change my attitude, happiness and thoughts as those are all things in my control... but sometimes we need those pick-me-ups to get us back on track and they were delivered at the right time and for this I am grateful... what can you do today to be a positive pick-me-up for someone, and who can you turn to when you need one. Remember we ALL experience these days, weeks and periods of time where we need a pick-me-up so remember sometimes we also need to be the one to do the picking up for others! Be a joy, be a blessing, give a smile no more stressing... Harmonize and harness your energy to your advantage and you will get more of what you focus on. God's grace is immeasurable, eternal, overflowing, perfect and lavish yet free. Undeserved, enlightening, incomprehensible, glorious, and divine, yet available. It is abounding and astounding, God's grace is amazing. You must embrace it.

Ridiculous Pillows! A LOVE LESSON.

How many times have you gotten irritated at your spouse for doing something that just isn't what you expect? Or you don't feel like they did it "right" or the way that you would have done it if you just did it yourself? You asked them to do something to help you out, lighten your load or make you feel better! I know that I have and I guarantee Steve has gotten irritated with me on numerous occasions when I have been asked to help out and it doesn't go exactly as planned or I do something in a different way then he would, likewise when I ask him for something I am easily irritated if it gets done but not "right"! What is "right" you may ask yourself? If we are so concerned as to whether it goes the way we want or turns out like we planned... why are we relying on the other person to carry it out or complete it as we would? Why are we placing the expectations we would otherwise place on our-self, on our significant other? Honestly the only way to guarantee something is done my way, is to do it myself- If I want to delegate and have other people help, I have to be willing to accept their way of getting it done. Not everyone accomplishes the same thing in the same manner, with the same attitude or outcome. After all we are attracted to that person because they complete us, not necessarily because they think like us... and if they thought, acted and did everything just as we would I think I would be pretty bored pretty quick. I had a great conversation with a friend who made me reflect on thinking deeper why sometimes there is a deeper why than we give credit for. A friend of mine who is pregnant confided in me that she was really frustrated with her pillows and couldn't get comfortable or sleep so she asked her hubby if he could stop on his way home from work and get some new pillows. He did just that... he brought them home happily ready to make her happy and she hated them! Not exactly what she was hoping for and no more comfortable then the ones she didn't like they already had, not what she was hoping for and a little disappointed in his choice, in fact she had found a pillow she previously had that she thought they all hated and used that and slept all night! Go figure right! The most hilarious part of the whole thing is not only her not liking the pillows knowing that he probably (knowing guys) stood in the BBB aisle for at least 30 minutes or more trying to find the most perfect one, and it wasn't! ( I know that my husband isn't often the most romantic person and that is ok, but that whenever I receive a card from him it always makes me cry because not only are the words perfect on the card he picks out but I know he probably read 30 before he picked one, so that it was just right, it would be easy to get irritated that he spends $6-$8 on a card sometimes however it isn't about the price to him but that he is expressing in the card what he might not be able to say-that is love.) When she later shared with me that he spent... get this, $300 on pillows... yes 2 pillows for $300! I know you are probably like WHAT? That is absurd... her thoughts exactly... but it wasn't the $300 he spent on 2 pillows that is the LOVE lesson learned here. It was the LOVE that he had for her and her comfort that was top priority in his mind that made him think the more expensive the more comfortable and happy his pregnant wife would be. Isn't that what love is all about? Putting the other person's needs before your own, even if the outcome isn't what you hoped for. I think we are often to quick to get irritated, upset or frustrated with our spouse for an idea, decision or choice that is not our own, without looking deeper into the WHY! Sometimes no matter how absurd, outrageous or silly something can seem to our senses... it really reflects much more! Take the time to know the WHY, be grateful for it, praise it and embrace that we are all usually putting forth the effort to LOVE, support and encourage one another through love... and even though the outcome isn't what we want or expect... the WHY means so much more! So next time you are quick to get frustrated or upset at something you asked your spouse to do that they didn't do "right", stop, reflect on the WHY and say thank you for their thoughtfulness... that doesn't mean you still can't return the ridiculously expensive pillows. Love bears all things, believes all things hopes all things and endures all things. First Corinthians 13:7