No Whining Zone

I was reminded the other day when speaking with a client who had a difficult time with a sale of her home, that sometimes our agendas are not always the plan for our lives. She felt that they received an answer as to God's timing even though they experienced super frustration at the time and mentioned that it was one of the worst and most aggravating experiences that they had been through as a couple.  Sometimes there is some hidden reason or meaning in what we are experiencing or going through on a particular day, week, month or year that could be troublesome and aggravating at the time. If we had that crystal ball or could look into the future we would be able to remain calm and "go with the flow" while it was happening. That however is highly unlikely, and being human sometimes playing the positive card all the time just isn't in our programming. Playing the victim seems so much easier- (even though sometimes it wastes A LOT more of our energy to do so.) It may seem that it is unfair, we are being picked on or what we might consider bad circumstances or events, may be preventing us from a situation that could be a lot worse, but we don't foresee that at the time, and sometimes the true meaning is never revealed or we don't associate it with that particular "bad" situation.
Do I have an explanation for every bad thing that comes my way, NO. Am I saying that every bad situation turns into something good, probably not. Am I always going to know WHY something happened or how it changed sometime in the future to better? I think not.  I do know however that the saying goes you never get handed more than you can handle. Sometimes it may be pushing to the extreme but that is when you set your mind to overcome and defeat whatever that obstacle is.
My husband and were watching a program about a man who wanted to go to see what it would be like to be an astronaut. He signed up and went to see what it was all about. When he arrived the men at the school were welcoming but doubtful. He would have to go through the same rigorous tests and physical fitness maneuvers that they had... but he had no legs. He had to swim laps, swim completely under water from one end of the pool to the other, carry a 60lb brick in one hand while doggie paddling with the other hand as his only means to get from one end of the pool to the other since he had no legs to help him kick, and dive down and retrieve that same brick from the bottom of the deepest end and come back up again. Did he do it all, you betcha. The disability that many people may perceive a particular person has as a detriment might just be the one thing that makes that person determined to succeed.  A person's ability to complete a task just might be measured by their determination to do so.
When I was an academic counselor I was told countless excuses as to why students couldn't complete as assignment, how that their instructor was so unfair and didn't they realize they are a working adult with responsibilities, how they were in a automobile wreck or their mother passed away the week before- at the same time I had truly successful single students with 3 jobs and 5 kids, ones with disabilities or sitting in hospital rooms going through cancer treatments who always somehow found time to get their work done. Are any of these students considered better than the other, of course not. It wasn't until I tried to go back to school 3 times to start my Master's program that I realized it isn't "can" I do it, it is how much do I "want" to do it. From this I concluded that having a Master's degree wasn't as important to me to give up or sacrifice what I would to get it. It all relies on our determination and how much they we willing to risk or let go to reach and achieve a particular goal. Some people look to accuses because they are comfortable in their current situation, they don't want something as much as the next person. This can vary from situation to situation or goal to goal. What is important to one person may not be as important to the next and vice versa. There is no harm in that. Every person is different. However we need to stop using our excuses to make other's feel sorry for our situation which we often create to make us feel better about why we "aren't" doing something. Sometimes you either want it or you don't and there is nothing wrong with that as long as you are willing to enjoy what you do have and change your attitude towards it.

Daily Ready Reminders

These are my daily affirmations attached to my bathroom mirror. I can't even open the medicine cabinet without seeing them. Some days I make myself read them every time I open the cabinet, they are on my phone, at my workstation hanging in my office. Sometimes it is easy to glance when I am in a hurry and skip over them, but when I take the time to read and feel the words- my day just gets better.

The present moment is my point of power

Somehow everything works out

If I take good care of people, life will take good care of me

People will pay me to feel the passion and energy I breathe into my career and creations

I am worth having anything I love

Sometimes I can't change my circumstances but I can always change my attitude

Happiness isn't something that happens to me it is something I create

Wanting more is healthy and natural as long as I don't forget to enjoy what I already have

Enjoy the people I love as if it is the last time I will see them- it might be.

Happy Friday Everyone- You can Make the most of your day by just changing it up a bit!

Spring Cleaning- New Life

So I indulged my husband's inner child and gave the okay to get chickens, huh you might say chickens? what are you going to do with chickens? Well, some friends of ours that we visited with a few weeks ago had full grown egg-laying chickens and Paxton and Steve fell in love with them like two little kids.
They lay eggs I suppose so that is a plus, free-range farm fresh eggs! The baby chicks they are pretty cute and they don't cost much. They are small right now and need more care but it is a project the boys can have together since they always seem to be into something new. Last night Paxton informed me " I want to take care of them mom." Cute- I pray that he stays that loving and caring as an adult with a good heart.
I was really against having these things at my home, one more thing in the mix of life to be responsible for but last night watching these adorable little chicks find their way around their new home, looking for water and food, pecking at each other and taking in their environment it reminded me that as humans we too have this feeling of desperation, helplessness and confusion at times.
The guidance, wisdom and direction of others can sometimes make or break us. Our inner voice can sometimes make the difference between going for the goal and falling behind because of our negative self talk. Life is what we make of it, life consists of the steps we take and the choices we make. Use your words to encourage yourself as well as others today. Chose today to start your life new and fresh, spring clean your mind and give yourself the chance to shine, back up your words with actions that are consistant to your goals, dreams and thoughts in your head. Seize any opportunities that come your way.
Live your life while you have it, before it is gone, Life is a splendid gift, There is nothing small about it. - Florence Nightingale.

Proud Confessions of a Toddler

Sitting in my office the other day my little guy who is 3 comes up to me and says, "Mommy?" "Yes dear, I said." "You might get mad at me but I wanna tell you something." "I said I promise I won't get mad if you tell me the truth." - He didn't really lie the day before, he had just not told me the whole truth. I accepted his apology, we talked about my disappointment and what he could do to avoid this happening again. He agreed he would not make this choice again, and we had a good day. I had mixed emotions after reflecting on this small but almost adult-like 3 year old conversation I had had. On one hand I was pretty upset that he had lied about it in the first place, thinking to myself, Oh my goodness the lying is already starting and he is only 3, but I quickly changed my way of thinking when I realized how proud I was of him coming to me worried that he may get in trouble but willing to confess that he did wrong and be punished, if I saw fit.
When I was growing up, sure I remember getting spanked, talked sternly to and yelled at, but the thing that sticks out the most in my mind was not the fear of the punishment that I might experience for my actions but the disappointment from my parents that I had chosen to do wrong. I always felt safe coming to them and letting them know what was going on with me. They instilled in me at a very young age that God is good and gracious. We can sin but he will accept us back over and over again. The fact that my parents taught me that above all love is the strongest and even though we can upset someone, God also wants us to extend forgiveness. I know I will not always have control over the decisions that my son makes or how he acts or treats others, but I do hope I can raise my son to be an honest, caring, loving and forgiving adult. I hope to be a good example and not only teach him right from wrong, but give him the ability to make mistakes and learn and grow from them.
Yesterday in church the sermon discussed the prodigal son from Luke 15:11-32. The younger son dishonored his family by asking for his inheritance and then going and blowing it on frivolous things, the older son stayed and was loyal to his dad. When the younger son came back the father welcomed him with open arms back into the family. The older son became angry and questioned the father's fairness. The father said, "everything is yours my son all you had to do was ask." The father loved both of his sons even though one had done wrong. This truly is the power of forgiveness that our heavenly Father shows us every day.

 

Psalm 103:8-12 The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love. He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever. He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

Frustrations escape me-

So the thing is when you are frustrated, your life becomes frustrated, those around you tend to get frustrated and it makes for a rather negative atmosphere. Sometimes it is hard to always be the positive one, having to constantly remind yourself to be in a good mood, to turn around the negative and make it a positive, to be encouraging to others but also yourself. I am my biggest critic. I am the one that puts so much pressure on myself to perform to my expectations and sometimes it is hard to forgive myself when I can't seem to fit it all in or make something work. Catering to my family and work and letting go of my needs as a person. When I do take time out for myself, I feel guilty or like I have fallen behind in my day to day expectations that I think everyone else places on me. But do they? Or am I just being unrealistic of myself and placing these thoughts and words in other people's mouth because I am thinking they want me to perform a certain way. I go and go all day and by 8:00 I am exhausted. Waking up at 5 and getting out of bed at 6 to start the day with no interruptions. Sometimes I falsely schedule things that I think I can get done in a certain amount of time and then something pops up to crush my plan and makes me rethink my schedule and or course of action. Yes, I know that I am rambling but sometimes it is just good to get out the frustration as to be able to move on with the day and the tasks at hand. To let go and to reconvene- for a better start.
Today I will look at my schedule. I will prioritize my events. I will give myself more time than needed to complete things and if I get them done sooner- all the better.
A Realtor friend reminded me yesterday that:

“Imagine life is a game in which you are juggling five balls. The balls are called work, family, health, friends, and integrity. And you're keeping all of them in the air. But one day you finally come to understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back. The other four balls...are made of glass. If you drop one of these, it will be irrevocably scuffed, nicked, perhaps even shattered.”

-James Patterson, Suzanne's Diary for Nicholas.