Even as an adult I am constantly adding to the list of things I never knew I was already suppose to know...if you are anything like me I get the opportunity on a daily basis with my career to be involved in an ever changing marketplace where all situations I come across are different in some way. I think that is what I like about real estate so much. It is always changing, a way to meet new interesting people, a way to help out in my area of expertise where other people who are buying and selling their own homes just do not excel because it is not what they do every day, for a living. A way to keep learning and evolving myself. It is a compliment to know that they trust my expertise, my knowledge and often times my judgement to lead them down a path of the unknown and hopefully better educate them for their future. Not only clients but colleagues who are going through similar yet unique experiences helping buyers and sellers of their own.
Yesterday on two separate occasions I was reminded that no matter how new you are to something or how long you have been in your field of expertise... you may not always know the answers, you may not always have to be the expert. An agent I am mentoring was going through a situation with her client, the lender and the title company where it was down to the wire for closing and the figures on their settlement statement were in excess of what the lender was allowing for the buyer to come in with to the closing table so that he may purchase his home. The title company representative had a strategy to try and alleviate or move around the figures that were making these non-allowable costs. Did the mentee understand what the title person was telling them... not really-did she feel she should in order to help explain to her client what was happening, probably- that is what makes a good agent- always putting the client's needs and understanding first! It is hard to understand something like this when you are so new at what you are doing. A good title company person may assume that all Realtors should understand this but the best way to handle a situation is to assume you are the expert in your field, but that not everyone is and shouldn't be expected to fully understand what you understand, therefore take the time to assume that they don't, have the patience to explain it and know that everyone processes information in different ways.
I have been in the business 14 years and I still don't understand why lenders sometimes allow and don't allow certain costs to be paid by a buyer- even though they are allowable in a contract. Have I had similar situations, yes, exact situation, no. I was only able to reassure my mentee that if the title company person was confident in what they would discuss with her buyer than she should be reassured that she doesn't have to totally understand what is being expected of the client- just trust that the title person knows what they are doing, has had similar situations with clients before and will be able to explain to and work out what the buyer needs in order to get the deal done. To reassure her client that the title rep is the expert in the field and that what he is asking of the client is in the client's best interest. The agent herself doesn't need to know everything... just trust that the people she is working with know their part in the transaction.
Similarly later in the day after running errands and moving trailers. I was home helping my husband load our trailer. Earlier in the day I dropped off a flatbed trailer and my husband reiterated that I needed to leave the hitch that was on the back of our truck at my sister and brother-in-law's home, that the pin might be a little harder to get out I might have to really push on it... our hitch was in the back of our truck. After dropping the trailer in front of their house, taking the pin out of the hitch and removing it, I placed the pin in the hitch and handed it to my sister-in-law. I got home, hubby went to hook up the trailer and he said "where is the pin." "What pin?" I said. " The one that was on the other trailer hitch," he scolded. "Ummmm, I left it with the hitch that you told me to leave there." " The pin stays with the vehicle not the hitch" he disgustedly walked off in search of something in our garage- assuming because he knows this everyone else should! I wanted to yell at him that "how the hell am I suppose to know that, I just did what you asked me to do, you didn't say- "make sure to take the pin!" I stopped before reacting and getting upset- in my head I was completely frustrated (now why on earth would I know something like that! Why would it even cross my mind that a pin for a trailer hitch belongs to the vehicle... I am book smart with a college degree, a great real estate career and wrote a children's book... I do not excel in the hands on mechanical world "that should be common sense." I offered to go collect it at my SIL's house but he was determined to find another one laying around. Did I raise my voice just a little when I responded that "I am sorry I didn't know that, no one had ever told me that before"... yes, I am sure I did- Woman tend to emphasize things when they are trying to make a point! He in the meantime found another pin and the world was right again. Not sure I wanted to experience the affects of not having an extra pin hanging around. I silently th
anked God he found another one, that I didn't react like I really wanted to in my head (which could have turned the night in a totally different direction), that I remained calm and thanked him for my new found knowledge (that I apparently was already suppose to know.)
Long story short I took my 2 experiences and turned them into lessons. What I learned. Just as I say you can't always control how someone acts, but you can control how you respond.
1. Not everyone is an expert at everything, trust those who are. You don't have to know it all, no one should expect you to, when they do expect you to know it, it is a compliment, they are confident you are smarter than you give yourself credit for sometimes.
2. Don't expect others to know everything you know. Be patient in your teaching.
3. Daily opportunities unfold for you to learn new things, take advantage of this, constantly be learning and bettering your knowledge base. Turn your frustrating circumstances into lessons. Smile, be happy and thank those around you who create these learning curves.
4. Be humble, think before you react ( you may just save yourself a headache from a reaction that turned a minor crappy situation into something catastrophic) there is nothing worse then a little tiff (especially between spouses) that can blow up out of proportion and really could have blown over in 1/4 the time if you reacted differently! And just ask yourself is it worth the fight now, will you remember what it was even about next week? Let it go, chose your words carefully and move on. Life is short, life is precious, be grateful for the good. There is so much more good than there is bad, and when we focus on what is good and right... the bad stuff just fades away.
5. A woman's attitude is contagious. If she is happy, optimistic and upbeat, her family usually follows suit. If she is pessimistic and shows doubt and frustration her family will usually suffer right along with her. What message are you trying to give your family? What atmosphere will you create as an example?
Add these tips to your list.
Those who control their anger have great understanding; those with a hasty temper will make mistakes.- Proverbs 14:29 NLT
