Christmas angel

Every once in a while there is a person that comes along in your life that makes a light bulb go on inside your head. Someone who helps you realize you do make a difference. Someone who says something that really clicks in your mind and changes you forever. It isn't that you don't really know what they are saying, it isn't some new discovery that shapes you, it is just a reminder of who you are and what you stand for; a recognition of what is standing in the way of that person you truly are. They just reiterate to you and believe in you enough to make that difference or drive that you have simply bounce back, it is almost instantaneous. That little gesture or conversation can change your life for the better and those around you will be grateful. Those who are affected may not know exactly why the difference or the "old" you has returned, but believe me they will be grateful. I thank my Christmas angel for reminding me that life is about choices, that I can't fix every situation no matter how hard I want to or try, that I can't always be disappointed in myself if I can't fix it, I can't allow myself such a heavy burden of thinking others expect so much of me, then being so hard on myself when I can't deliver. Sometimes I can only add value, I can only be sincere, humble, genuine and I have to let go of the things that are beyond my control. May 2012 bring peace in my heart, kindness in my actions, compassion in my voice, patience in my teachings and much much more beautiful things.

frustration

So what did our parents do when we were kids. How in the world did we get by in the car for a trip or long drive let alone 30 minutes. I thought I had the routine lengthy drives (since we live out so far) down pat. Pop in a movie and I am good to go. Maybe an occasional "mom" or needing attention for a drink or to look at something but pretty much engrossed in his movie enough not to whine or bother me. Oh, but what happens when he is so used to this routine and the movie player stops working. The myriad of questions and talking doesn't stop, the whiny voice the persistent talking and then screaming if he doesn't get down or that he wants to "drive" mommy's car. I created a monster! UGH. So I magically slip on the CD player with a Disney CD, of which there are 27 songs and he only wants to listen to the ones where he hears Mickey's voice- which amounts to listening to the same 4 songs over and over again. Well then what happens when mommy's CD player becomes frozen on CD 4 out of 6 and you can not skip, move or eject the silly thing and it just won't play a song for anything. I think I decided that was about the time I really really needed a vacation away, from EVERYTHING! LOL! No seriously, how did we as kids go from practically no car seats and be able to entertain ourselves with toys in the back seat or looking out the window. I am so disappointed in myself for making the movie watching such a routine that when it isn't there the child doesn't understand why it isn't working and why mommy can't just fix it or go grab a new one at the store on the way home. There is no pleasing or reasoning with a 2 year old, who I have trained to watch a video when he is in my car. So I have decided that there must be some other way or avenue to break this habit but keep my sanity in the meantime while I re-train him to play with toys, look out the window or some other form of entertainment. I think that it is definitely doable it just make a few trips to re-train him and allow him to see that those things are not necessities, they obviously weren't for me and guess what I survived and so did my mom. 2 may be young for a person to truly understand the concept, but it sure is worth teaching that we can not and will not always get our way, and throwing a fit about it exhausts energy and really isn't worth the fight.

Continuing Calm

So the other night I received something in the mail that was pretty disturbing after I had already thought it was taken care of, and of course it was 5:07 pm and too late to call and question or straighten it out. Of course. How often does stuff like this happen and put us into a tizzy where we get upset and our brains get the best of us and we think the worst. I decided after getting a little upset of course that I would just wait until the next day because getting upset really wasn't going to fix or erase or give me the answers that night that I was looking for. I actually let it go, I fell asleep at a decent time and I didn't wake up bothered by it in the middle of the night. The next morning I did think of it again and had a little bit of anxiety, however on my way to work I told myself that I needed to just wait and then deal with the issue, if it was even an issue or a mistake. Getting worked up about it prematurely only depletes my energy and strength. The next day I was given the happy news that indeed it was a mistake and that I didn't have anything to further worry about. What a huge relief off my shoulders and a lot less energy that was depleted from me getting worked up over nothing. Don't get me wrong, I did get a little upset, but a lot less than I normally would. Sometimes there are many things in our life that are definitely beyond our control and depleted our energy whether it is premature or is really valid, still doesn't fix whatever the issue is that arises. So the next time you are faced with an issue and you can chose to worry yourself into anxiety or be patient and see if it is truly and issue and if not feel relieved and if it is then take the necessary steps to do what is needed.

Actively Listening

So I order a peppermint coffee with cream from the coffee cart at work yesterday, the guy proceeds to repeat my order and then I start talking with the person next to me no longer paying attention. The lady goes to ring me up and I hand her my debit card, before I realize she says $3.88 she has already swiped my card. I say to her, $3.88 your large coffee price on the menu says $1.95( which by the way is still way more expensive then circle K! lol) but nonetheless I am dumbfounded. I ask them why so much and the coffee cart guy says that I ordered a latte. A latte? Really? I nicely say, I ordered a peppermint coffee with cream and you repeated it back to me and even asked me if I wanted skim or whole milk... well actually I wanted cream, but I said 2% meaning for him to mix he skim and whole... Anyway, I said well I really just wanted coffee, how much is that, he said $1.95. I asked how I should have ordered it to get coffee and he seemed confused. I again mentioned that I didn't order a latte, and instead of saying oh I am sorry about that he proceeded to tell me the difference in price between espresso and plain coffee... um okay... anyhow, I nicely mentioned again that all I wanted was peppermint coffee, so the man (notice how I am not calling him the barista; far from it) says he will remake my coffee with a very agitated look on his face, like I should have just taken the latte and been happy with it, and the lady proceeds to dig through the tip jar to give me the difference between what she charged my card and a cup of coffee.
So not to be rude here, but I think if there was a little active listening involved in what I wanted maybe it wouldn't have leaded to frustration on any one's part. This is why I say, BE interested in what others have to say, Don't just ACT interested, it may make all the difference. Oh and did I mention this was the 2nd mistake the guy made in the very few times I have purchased coffee at this particular stand... I am thinking trend here.
But in all actuality I guess the blessing here is that I should be grateful that I have a job and a coffee cart in the first place.

Thanksgiving

Today I am thankful for a loving supportive family. A healthy beautiful son.
For friends that I hold dear to my heart and love me for me.
For those who fight for our country to give me the freedom that I take for granted everyday.
For my home, my car and all of the things that I am blessed with.
For 4 days off from work, and a job to return to.
For recognizing opportunities to make myself a better person.
For my health.
For the sunshine and gorgeous Arizona weather.
For many many other things, simple, true and cherished.
For those of you who read this, what are you thankful for?


Thanksgiving is recognized once per year. This year I challege all of us to spend 5-10 minutes a day reflecting on those blessings that we have and don't always recognize because we take them for granted. Appreciate the little things they make all the difference.

endless possibilities

So my signature for my books is The possibilities of your imagination are endless, DREAM BIG! Might I just add that action is required. Dreaming is just a part of getting to where you want in life. Most people don't just sit around and good things fall in their lap. You have to take the actions necessary to fulfill those dreams, wants and desires. You have to not allow the road blocks, and believe me they will come, stand in your way. You have to work hard, put time, energy, effort and enthusiasm into what you are trying to accomplish. Believe in yourself and your dreams, believe that those dreams will make a difference. Don't stop trying if it is something that you really want. Pursue all the necessary angles. Don't give up, and be okay with failing, you can try again or in another way. Sometimes there are many different possibilities on your way to success and they may not all work the same way to get you there. Keep trudging along, gather as much support as you can. Be willing to sell yourself, your idea, your product and be passionate about it. Don't be afraid to ask others for their help along the way, but remember to always be grateful for what you get, what you have and what you are looking forward to.

Power of BELIEF

I recently had the opportunity to listen to Suze Orman speak at a work conference in California last week. I don't know that I went in with a very high opinion of her, but sure came home with one.
There were 2 things that she said that really stood out in my mind.
1: "The elephant keeps walking when the dogs keep barking." meaning that just because others are telling you no or wanting you to stop don't think that you can accomplish something you set out to do, if you truly believe in yourself and your mission you will keep going until you reach where it is you are headed. Just like the elephant who keeps walking when the dogs are barking and nipping at his feet, eventually the dogs stop and the elephant keeps going. BELIEVE that you can do it.
How many of us quit at the first sign of doubt from those around us? Why? Do we really think we are not worthy of our dreams or goals. We need to stop this bad self talk for sure, it really isn't going to get us anywhere and will probably force us to act in a way that will make the bad stuff come true.
2: When you feel powerful you attract people, people control money, therefore when you feel powerful you attract money. So in other words, when you BELIEVE in yourself and your abilities, others will follow suit, when you put out there that you are never meant to be, have or do anything, that will also come true, when you BELIEVE in yourself, your actions will accommodate, when you don't BELIEVE in yourself or you think you are nothing, you will act in this way.
Therefore I say BELIEVE that you are destined to do great things with yourself, God made you unique and you have something to offer. God made you to serve others and others to serve you, which in turn serves HIM. You will attract those who need your service through your qualities and talents, and attract those who can serve you with their unique qualities and talents.
We should all share in the attraction of what we can give and what we can benefit from. We are not strong enough to be alone in this world, but we do have to BELIEVE that we as individuals have something wonderful to contribute. We are our own worst critic but we can be our best BELIEVER too.

anxiety

So you know you are a mother when.... I am leaving on a business trip tomorrow, I am not so much sad to leave ( I am) but I am anxious about the possibilities. Nervous that if I am not home and something happens and I am hours and hours away that I won't know what to do. Aren't I the one who is constantly telling others not to worry so much about things that may never happen. It exhausts energy and diminishes chances of actually enjoying yourself, instead of living in the moment, you are living in a future of things that may never come. It is really sad, but I think that we all tend to get trapped by this from time to time. The best thing is to recognize it. You need to catch yourself in the midst of the negative thoughts and anxieties and reflect on the here and now and what is happening around you. Soak in the good, the beautiful and the blessings that you have, look forward to the positive future and know that even sometimes preparing for the worst, really doesn't prepare you at all, especially if it never comes true.
Take heart in knowing that there are some things in life you cannot prevent, be at peace with knowing that you can only stretch so far if you give it all you got.

Feedback for Life

It is amazing how someone's positive feedback on your efforts can really uplift your spirit. It almost makes me wonder why we don't try harder to compliment and point out the positive things that others do. If we notice something we feel is in good character, or goes above and beyond a normal gesture we really should let that person know. We shouldn't take for granted that that is just their demeanor. Even if it is just in the cube over from us and we really like something someone else had to say to the person on the other end of the phone, or we are praising someone for something little that they did even if they may not think is any big deal at all. I love to give out "thank you's" at work, even to the people who are just doing their job, but if you do it with a smile, you do it without complaining, you are quick to respond or I can tell someone simply enjoys helping people, I am going to point it out. It is nice when you recognize other people doing the same.
After sitting through a 2 hour presentation at work, my boss said to me thanks for your questions, I was a little confused and kind of felt the need to ask him why. He just said that he was grateful that I asked questions and participated in the session.
I think that this appreciation, though little and probably not thought necessary by most people, really shows that he is willing to be involved and engaged in his employees. I think in most situations, no matter what the relationship is, the little things do go a long way. They add up and over time can really make a difference in your outlook and your ability to continue to spread a positive message onto others.
It is these little steps that really don't take too much effort at all on our end to make a difference in someone's life, attitude and outlook.
So today pay some positive energy forward onto someone else, what you may think is only a little gesture, may make all the difference to that person.

Stopping Time

Do any of you remember the show back in the late 80's early 90's where the 3 year old girl discovers her father is an alien and she has super powers, she can stop time with her fingers and do or fix things. I just imagine sometimes what I could do if I have this power. Sometimes in the hectic days that I have I want to be able to just stop, rewind, or take a breath.
The little irritants and things that happen throughout any given day that sometimes just seem to push you over the edge of your sanity. You wake up a little late and think that you have extra time to do a few things before it is time to get ready for the day. Then your kid wakes up (on the wrong side of the bed) and throws a fit at just about everything you want to do, following you around the house wanting to be held. You decide to put him in his chair in front of the t.v. with breakfast so you can scramble around, hair half fixed and one eye of makeup done, trying to finish getting ready to get out the door, he throws a fit and doesn't want to eat anything, he just wants to be held and you have to think to yourself, "why today". You finally retreat to your bathroom just in time to hear your kid scream, you go rushing out and the dog threw up on the edge of the carpet, (couldn't have went slightly to the left and hit the wood floor I suppose) so then you have to stop everything you are doing, shove him outside and clean it up as your kid still whines from his chair that he wants to be held. You finally finish getting ready, everyone is dressed, you quickly throw the dishes in the sink promising yourself you will do them as soon as you get home, because honestly who is going to see they aren't done anyway, and you gather the 15 bags of stuff you "must" take with you. You walk out to put your kid in the car seat and he looks at you and says "mom, I poo", Seriously? Can your day get any more hectic? You load the car of your "stuff", grab the kid and go back inside, quickly change his diaper wash your hands and try again. You get a mile from home and realize that you left your cell phone on the changing table. You wonder to yourself, or maybe even scream out loud, "CAN THIS DAY GET ANY WORSE", can anything else possibly go wrong?
So you start out for the 3rd time that day already wishing you could stop time to get the things you need done in order to catch up to the time where you are suppose to be at in your day, or you just want to crawl back in bed pull the covers over your head and try again tomorrow.
These are the days that I need to remind myself even more of all the things I have to be thankful for and how much they outweigh even the multitude of frustrations that we can experience; including waking up late, unforeseen circumstances, dog's vomiting, crabby kids, traffic, accidents on the freeway, forgetting stuff at home and so on and really look down and be grateful that our shoes at least match!

Constructive Criticism

I was talking to a student yesterday who reminded me that sometimes we need to seek out feedback even when we think it might hurt our feelings. If we are truly wanting to improve our self we need to seek the feedback we need to do this. We need to let others be honest about their impression of us and we need to alter ourselves and stop trying to change others around us. Sometimes it may not be what we want to hear, sometimes we may be shocked to hear it but the ability to receive the constructive criticism can make a huge difference in our own life and how we get a long with others.
As hard as it is to receive the feedback I think it is even harder to give it. Not everyone is receptive to hearing what others have to say about them or willing to take it in and evaluate and improve for the future, but just as much as we want to hear what others think of us to help our self improve, we need to be just as honest and give that person our perception of them. Although we can't make that person take the feedback and do something with it, we can offer it and let them decide how they want it to make an impact on their own life, and in turn on others.
Today I am grateful for those who give me that feedback and allow me a chance to make myself a better person, because that is what this world is about, not being better than someone, just being the best YOU you can be and making a difference in other people's lives.

Women, Do me a favor today!

When you get pushed and pushed and pushed so far that sometimes you just want to throw your hands up and yell "ENOUGH ALREADY" can I catch a break? Can we get ahead? What is my lesson I am learning here? What is my next step?
I am still a firm believer in that yellow sticky note on my bathroom mirror, pointing me in the right direction, I promise I won't even tell anyone I found it. I know, I know that takes everything out of the fact that we have choices in life, we can choose what it is that we do, what our attitude will be and how we will face any circumstances, doubt, actions of others and so on. But sometimes, the circumstances, they SUCK, I'm just saying.
Sometimes I think we feel like we are the only ones that have certain circumstances and that we are the only ones experiencing the set backs, struggles and demands of life, but I think we would be surprised that even the people we think have it all put together or the ones who seem like they can juggle 27 projects in one day are also experiencing the struggles, they just hide it better than we do.
As a women, a mom, a wife and a daughter; academic counselor, Realtor, Scentsy consultant and children's author and the plethora of other titles that I am sure I hold, I know that life's demands can take a huge toll on our spirituality, health, mood, relationships and much more.
As a woman who strives to be perfect and multitask like many of us do, I have to keep reminding myself every day that I AM NOT PERFECT, say it with me, I AM NOT PERFECT! When we expect this from ourselves, people around us start expecting it as well. It is like the old principal saying- Under promise and over deliver, they will all be impressed. Over promise and fall short, the disappointment will follow- Don't do so much or promise so much (even with the best intentions) because you are not only going to set yourself up for disappointment, you will train others around you to be disappointed as well.
So today do me a big favor - look at yourself in the mirror and say I AM NOT PERFECT! I like me for who I am and what I can do, I will do my best today to be the best ME I can be, to not compare myself to others; their looks, abilities or financial situations. God made me unique and I will use my talents, abilities and strengths not only to be the best ME, but to lead others by my example, and I will expect no one else to be perfect either, I will love and forgive and cherish every moment of this day.

calm and collected

So I don't know how many people have vision boards, but I did one about 5 years ago and put lots of clippings, pictures and things that aspired to, wanted or wished for on it. It is about 16x20 so pretty big. I had it hanging in my office until we built it in and there was no place for it to hang, so I hung it above the closet doors in the spare bedroom where I work out. I first got the idea from the movie The Secret and since have heard a lot about these vision boards, there are plenty of things on it that have come true, my mountain bike, my little boy and my published book baring my name- and some that I am still waiting and hoping for. The concept is pretty simple, what you put out there in the universe you will get back. So just remember that goes for good and bad things, if you are constantly saying you are late, you are late, if you constantly say you have bad luck more bad luck will come your way, if you truly believe that good things will happen to you, they will.
Anyway enough about that. My day yesterday had a few things that I thought worth mentioning in my words, however last night I was truly drained when it was finally time to go to bed, and I did just that, went to bed, so the computer did not get my words.
The one thing that did happen to me after about a year of struggle and worry was resolved and I was extremely grateful and relieved when the worry, turned problem, turned obstacle, turned burden was somehow not of too much concern for me anymore, I wished for the positive outcome, I envisioned the positive outcome and even though it took what seeemed like forever and caused some problems along the way, and although it wasn't exactly as I would have had it, it turned out to work out in my favor nonetheless.
When I got home from work I needed to grab something out of the spare room and when I walked in lying smack dab in the middle of the floor was a magazine clipping of the words "Calm and Collected". It was hanging above a picture of my dream tub (this is funny for me to say, since I really never take baths, that I have a dream tub) on my vision board.
The fan was on high so I am sure that is exactly why this clipping fell off the board, however, out of all the things on this over sized board to fall off, this wording was exactly what I was feeling at that moment and time. Was it a sign that I could move on and put my past issue behind me, that that chapter- that door was finally closed and I could spend more time looking toward the future of good things to come? I don't know, but I sure hope so.
For those of you who know me well, I am generally a positive person, I look for the good even in the most difficult or bad situations. That is how I keep my faith, my hope and my belief in myself and my goals and dreams. That is how I wake up every morning knowing that I am here on earth for a purpose and that I can brighten someone elses day and serve people.
I am grateful for the blessings I receive, for my family and loved ones who support and comfort me.
Count your blessings, instead of your crosses. count your gains instead of your losses. Count the yes's, instead of the no's. count your friends instead of your foes. Count your full years, instead of your lean. Count your health, instead of your wealth, and count on God instead of yourself. - Author unknown.

calm

So my new goal for this week is going to remain calm. I tried this a few days, no matter what happened to me I took a breath and counted to 5 and remained calm. Because really what does getting upset do? What does yelling do? What does bitching about the situation really do? In my opinion, NOTHING, it doesn't change it, it doesn't erase your circumstances, it doesn't stop time or allow you to go back and change the course of events, it doesn't do anything but temporarily make you feel slightly better and yet at the same time overwhelmed and you exert a lot of energy in the process. I think that if a situation is happening that is really beyond my control, I must face it head on and just deal. In many situations I feel like I am spending half of my day sometimes following up on things that other people say they are going to do. No matter who or what. For example someone from a bank or insurance company who is "checking" into your claim, and 3 days later after hearing nothing you have to follow up. But you know what, I may as well call and follow up because frankly I am the one seeking the answer and I guess instead of bitching about what someone didn't do to inform me of something, I might as well just find out.
So onto my new calmness for the week. Hopefully I can stick to it.

the dang post it

So apparently I am still waiting on the dang post it, I really don't care where I find it, preferrably my bathroom mirror, refridgerator door, steering wheel of the car, wherever it is delivered I would like it to be quick and sooner than later. I know I have said on several occassions that I am looking to find what it is that God wants me to do with my life, what direction to take and how to use my talents to the best of their abilities. I guess with the start of the book it is on its way, however I am looking to do something useful in the meantime.
With life full of so many choices, we are constantly in a battle with ourself whether we make the right ones or not. We can take steps, think we are headed in the right direction and end up empty handed, leading us to yet another fork in our road wondering if we just wasted our time or were suppose to learn a lesson. They say things happen for a reason and it may be much later on that we find out, if we ever find out why.
Take for instance the fact that my dad passed away in high school, I know that if he didn't I may have never ended up in Arizona, met my husband and ended up with such a beautiful son that inspired me to write and publish my first children's book, did my dad really have to die in order for these things to happen, probably not, but it led to the choices that I made that brought me here.
I am now at a cross roads where I am faced with decisions that may affect the course of my life from here on out, and how do I know that I am taking the right path or leap or even what direction to take that fork in the road. I will put my faith and hope in what I believe and follow what not only feels right but falls into place.
Again, "faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain and what we do not see. - Hebrews 11:1.

Faith in what you don't see, trust in what you have

So sometimes it is hard to see that everything is going to be okay. When you go into a new adventure, a new project or start a new task. Do you have the support you need? Want? Are you expecting too much support or reassurance to get you through? How do you know that you won't fail? How can others believe in you if you are unwilling to believe in yourself. Does it show? What do you do to prevent yourself from getting upset? Having anxiety? Or worrying about the outcome your future?
We are only human and we tend to worry about what other people will think of us and if we will disappoint anyone else. Sometimes I think we are our worst critic and because we are afraid of disappointment in our self we somehow think everyone else thinks of us as a disappointment waiting to happen, everyone is constantly critiquing our choices, decisions and actions.
Are they really? Or are they worrying about themselves and not all that interested in criticizing what we are doing? I think that is the case more often than not. How do we get over it? How do we not allow our stress or anxiety to be taken out on someone else because we think that they aren't supporting us or they aren't doing or saying the things that we expect, do we really expect them to know exactly what we want them to do or say? Can we really control someone else or how they feel? Isn't that the reason that we are all individuals and we are different, why is it that we feel that someone else should read our mind or think exactly like we do? We shouldn't but often times I get caught in this trap as I am sure plenty of other people out their do as well. The trap of making someone else feel inferior or feel bad for the things that they say or do, when they are just being who they are and saying what they feel, even if it isn't exactly what I want to hear or expect. Sometimes it is hard to be easy on another person when you are being so hard on yourself. This is often the root of a lot of arguments and fights that most married couples have.
There is truth to the Men are from Mars... women are from Venus concept... and all the other like self help books out there. No matter how many of these books I have read about how men and women are different and should be treated differently, sometimes I fall into the trap of expecting things from my spouse that aren't necessarily something that is natural to his nature, in having these unnatural expectations I think we set our self up to be disappointed in that person, as they do us sometimes. Do we thank our spouse, our parents, our children, our friends when they do support us, do we thank them for the little things, do we thank them often? Or are we pointing out the things that they are doing wrong, the things that bother us or upset us and taking for granted the good that they do and we see in that other person. What attracted you to that person in the first place or made them your friend?
Don't you feel much better when someone takes the time to notice what you are doing right, I sure do, when they praise you for the little things you do? I am not saying to say "thank you" every minute of every day, but by showing it in your body language, your actions, your smile. By spreading your positive opinion and experience about a person to either them or others around you, it sets such a positive tone for your relationship and really doesn't take all that much effort if the person is deserving of it. How much more energy does it take to vent or express our disappointment in someone when they do say or do something that disappoints, hurts or frustrates us. If we did the same spreading of news when they helped us, said something sweet or acted in simply loving way, what awesome energy that we could create that would overpower the negative things and make them not seem such a big deal. Maybe we would harbor our indifference less, communicate better and not allow anything to build up that we crack when we are under stress or pressure. Tonight I am not so sure anyone reading this will have a clue how to even relate to what I am saying, maybe I am blabbing on and on for only the purpose of venting my own frustration out in words on paper that I seem to express at a much better level than verbally. Sometimes verbally I stumble, I am not quick to respond unless sometimes it is lashing out, which I know isn't the best method of communication. Sometimes I wish I could write everything I feel when I am upset, this way I can control what I say and get my feelings across to the other person in an effective manner, but I am sure just like me that opportunity isn't always feasible, especially in the heat of the moment. Sometimes we do and say harsh things, we can be rude, we can talk quickly without thinking it through. This isn't helping improve any form of verbal communication and doesn't really fix any of the frustrations we have with others. Sometimes in certain situations we don't have time to think before we talk, we lash out of fear and frustration at another and it doesn't make the situation any better. We have to learn that we are constantly trying to better ourselves every day, we are granted a new day every 24 hours to try again, we can't let past arguments rule our current situation, we have to remember that we can not change anyone but our self, we control only our actions, our words and our thoughts and our attitudes and reactions to those around us, but we cannot control those around us. Realizing this and remembering it is half the battle.

Kind words, small deeds

Sometimes we do things that we really don't think are all that big of a deal, until someone who we touched expresses their happiness, and gratefulness honestly and sincerely but in a big way. That is when what we do or take for granted that we do every day really touched someone and made a difference. I hope that in everything I do for someone it somehow makes a difference every day. One little thing at a time, sure we may not be changing the world, but oh how good it feels to change a small part of someone. That is why it feels so good to give my 100% every day, when you are thanked for something you would do anyway, that is when you truly feel special. Someone said today in my office meeting that they live by the philosophy of "service" what that means to each person may be a little different, but in actuality it is do what you do to help and serve others and you will be rewarded ten fold someday. We can't afford to do anything with less than a whole heart!

I'll do my best

Paxton woke up in the middle of the night so I was up for a little while and had crazy dreams that startled me awake several times, I didn’t sleep very well and I woke up this morning to roll over and realize I forgot to turn on my alarm, so not in enough time to work out, I went back to sleep for a little bit (about 10 mins) and then got out of bed, I stubbed my toe on my way in the closet (my little toe on the hamper), had nothing to pack for lunch ready because I didn’t prepare the night before, grabbed a can of tuna and some mayo, jammed a paper in my scanner trying to get the last of the required paperwork in for our land judgment, and didn’t have time to resend it, got in the car and heard that silly noise again that I took my car in to get fixed just last week and spent $986 dollars already, got on the freeway to a back up determined not to be late for work, called my mom on the way and prayed for the day ahead together, I got to work to an empty desk of a co-worker who was let go the day before, and another 10 voice mails on top of the 21 I had yesterday.

I said to myself, I have two choices today, I can be in a good mood or a bad mood, I can chose to whine about my circumstances or adapt to them, I can be grateful that I have a house to live in, food to eat, a job to go to, and a car to drive.

I can go about my day with a positive attitude, bring cheer to others and make a difference. I cannot control the way others think, act or perform, but I can control me and I can control how I model my behavior, actions and performance. I may not be able to always control my circumstances, but I CAN control how I choose to deal with them.



Go out today and do your best, be your best and give it 100% no one can ask more of you if you are genuine, sincere and honest and you put your best foot forward, and at the end of the day if it is not somehow good enough in another’s eyes, at least you can be rest assured in knowing you gave it your all. And be satisfied with yourself that you had a plan and a purpose and you carried it through to the best of your ability for that day, and that tomorrow is a new day to try again.

do it now

I am off today and figured I would get up early, work out and get a bunch of stuff done, including Scentsy, Children's book stuff pay some bills, order my text book for my first class, (yes, I have again decided to get my Master's degree- my motivating factor *remember I said I needed one of those* the fact that only 8% of the population in the U.S. has one- eh why not join that population, as well as I picked something that I am actually interested in doing) helping my mom clean her office, figuring out my budget for the month, grocery shopping, planning next week, and some odds and ends paperwork things. I had no idea that my son would help me accomplish this by thinking that 4:15 am was a suitable time to wake. Well, that is okay, he is helping me to accomplish my goal, so far I am not sure how much that I have accomplished, it always seems like busy work, but I am checking things off my list. I just opened my email to this amazing Story of the Day, thought I would share it. Make it a great day, and make it count!

Do It Now Syndrome


I posted the following words into facebook the other day.


I caught something overnight! Woke up this morning with a case of "Do It Now Syndrome". Not sure where I caught it - or how - but it's truly amazing! Didn't realise just how many things I put off because they can wait - or how often I did that: until this morning that is! I'm loving this feeling - hope it lasts!


I can phrase what I'm talking about as any of these:


Procrastination Vs Do It Now!
Laziness Vs Do It Now!
I'll get round to it Vs Do It Now!
I've got to write a plan first Vs Do It Now!


Planning for anything might be necessary as part of an everyday process; but the joy is in the actual doing; in taking the action and doing whatever it is that needs to be done!


It is just so darned easy to put things off!


And every time we do put something off we feel disappointed in ourselves; just a little bit each time;and those little bits add up over time. They add up quite rapidly actually; without us noticing it at a conscious level. But that adding up of lots of little incidences leads to massive guilt; even depression if allowed to linger longer.


It doesn't matter if we've got what seems like the right intention to do something later that day; later that week; or later that month! They're usually poor excuses for finding distractions to what we really should be doing; and from doing it now! Distractions are usually self sabotage; or the fear of doing something; so we have to learn to challenge ourselves and Just Do It! and Do It Now!


Note for facebook this evening:


I've still got this Do It Now Syndrome! ... and hoping that it's incurable.


I am truly getting a buzz from doing things that I could normally have put off until a 'better time'; and doing them as I see them; or as I walk past them. I am not kidding - within just 24 hours I have embraced this new behaviour - and am loving it! Yes - the joy is in the doing!

(c) Phil Evans - People Stuff TM - 2011

Dreamer

Sometimes when I'm in the midst of more than one project at a time... is that a girl thing? Anyhow, you can get so wrapped up in multiple projects and directions that your head seems to spin on its own. Sometimes you don't know if you are coming or going, if you are on time, in overtime or out of time. The pace at which we work, play, and interact can sometimes be overwhelming. What sort of commitments do we have that we can change, alter or eliminate. How can we work less and enjoy life more? Is the so called rat race worth the hassle, time and energy we spend chasing it? Sometimes yes, sometimes no, but how is it that we determine the good choices the bad choices, the time wasters verses the good investments?
I guess it just all depends on where we are, and where we want to be. Remember countless times I have said that life is a journey and not a destination. No one is holding you to certain dreams, goals and aspirations most of the time, except yourself. No one but our self controls our thoughts, attitudes and behaviors. We can chose what we do each day, what we say to others, the example that we live or the position that we take.
Our dreams and aspirations make us who we are, no one can ever steal these from us, we can definitely cower down, but no one can take them away. Every dream we have may require a different journey a different path to get closer to what we are striving for. If you believe in your talents and dreams push yourself and make them come true, don't stop at the first hurdle, because it wouldn't be called a hurdle if there wasn't a means to get over it. Leap with faith and rejoice on the other side.
"Just remember successful people pay more attention to their own visions and goals then to the history or opinions of others." - Mr. Everit's Secret

Other's Examples

Many of the things we face in this life, the obstacles, the hardships the ups and downs seem less harsh when we are touched by other people's stories. Many things are brought into perspective from the things we hear from day to day. From the positive attitude of others, to the courage, strength and wisdom that someone displays.
It could be the person that you think has the best attitude, a positive outlook on life and is dealing with a terminal illness, you would never know it unless they told their story, because they go through each day choosing not to be a victim. They don't let their circumstances bring them down. They take what they have and they make themselves who they are, an example.
No matter whether it is a person you know, a story you have heard, or even a book that you have read there are constant examples of people who deal with their unfortunate circumstances, health issues, or overcome something like an addiction and use it to be an example and witness to others to help them through their struggles.
My best friend growing up died when I was 11, she had terminal brain cancer for over 3 years. I watched her grow sicker every day but it didn't stop her from being full of light and sunshine. I remember her making me laugh, the smile she put on the doctors, nurses and other patients faces. I remember her running up and down the halls at the hospital with an IV-stand attached to her. She was dying but she didn't show it. She inspired me at such a young age, that no matter what circumstances you are faced with, no matter what can bring you down, you can chose how you react to it, you can look for an alternative to your situation, you chose how you let it affect your day to day activities or cause you to have limitations. Anyone can tell you it is easy. It is not. I am not sure it is suppose to be.
No matter how positive you are, no matter how much you show others the attitude you want to portray, from time to time, you will get knocked down, you are entitled to a pity party, have it, then get back up again.
Hope in the future, have faith in the unknown, use your personal struggle to help others. No one said you had to be strong enough, when we are weak, ask God to be strong enough for the both of us. (Matthew West)

Closing Doors

Over the past three weeks I have been confronted with a few different situations that have made me question some of the things in my life.I have had the chance to reflect on what is good and let go of the unnecessary. To appreciate the blessings and forgive and forget any hurt.
My life can sometimes be an emotional roller coaster ride. The saying goes, "when one door closes another one opens." Sometimes I think I stare at that closed door so much trying to figure out where I went wrong, what made me lose that opportunity, what did I do to push it away or no longer deserve it? Was it really me, was it something I did or was it just no longer the journey I needed to take? Sometimes these things if they do make since at some later point in life aren't revealed to us immediately, if ever. Is the lost opportunity a lesson or an opportunity for something better?
I don't want to miss the new door that opens, but when opportunities come along you have the choice to take them or to say no. How do you know what the right choice is? Are you afraid of making too many wrong choices trying to get to the right choice, sometimes I am. This can be a very scary thing. The fear can take over and push you right back down.
I need to listen to my heart and go with the choices that make me feel the best, and except that they may not always be the right ones, but if I don't jump out there and put myself on the line, I may never know. If I fail, I can pick myself up, dust myself off, seek the comfort of my family and friends who believe in me no matter whether I fail or not. I need to have the confidence in my self and my abilities and try again.

Fear

I think we are all somewhat intimidated by fear to an extent, even those who seem to hit it head on. This is their way to deal with fear. Some of us fear being alone, some of us fear dying, some of us fear those around us dying, some of us fear losing our job or fear failure, some of us fear bad health, or other obstacles. These are all real fears and no one can tell us that it is right or wrong to feel fear.
They can however turn into larger issues when we act out of pure anxiety and worry until we can't think of anything else and it can affect our day to day activities. Most often times the things we worry about, the things that consume us in fret, never ever happen. We paint pictures in our mind, we get worked up, we go over "what if" scenarios until we are exhausted, and the event, the occurrence, the situation never rears its ugly head. So we have just wasted moments, hours, days, weeks, years and lifetimes that we will never get back by allowing fear to overcome us. We should be living in the here and now, grateful for what is before us this day, enjoying what we do have and leaving the unknown out there, pushing that fear aside and not letting it get the best of us. We can chose to be a worrier who can only focus on what could happen or we can chose to place our fears in the hands of God our Creator, enjoy every moment of today and have faith that we enjoyed and made every moment count until if and when that fearful moment happens. And if and when that fearful moment happens, we can chose to be a victim, or we can chose to make the most of the unavoidable, unfavorable situation, but that is a topic for another day.

If you cannot help worrying, remember that worrying cannot help you either. Today is the tomorrow you worried about yesterday. If you worry you die, if you don't worry you die, so why worry? -taken from 100 quotes that make you think by Wolfgang Riebe

NOW

Do you ever feel the need to rejuvenate, that if you could just turn one little switch, make a slight adjustment or wave your magic wand you could go back to a time in your life where you were the most happy, where things seemed easier and a lot more fun, where there was less struggle and it didn't seem that you had to put in so much effort to get the same results and maintain the same relationships?
I am sure we have all felt this at one point or another. I got to thinking the other day that we can't go back, we can't fix something, all we can really do is go from this point forward, we can be thankful for what we have in front of us and look forward to what is before us in the future. We can chose to change with the changes or keep looking back and see how to get what we had at one point, but then we are really wasting time wishing rather than working with what we have now. I am so excited to open up the next page in my book of life and see what it has to offer me, to savor it and enjoy the moment that I am in with the people that are around me. This is what I really am looking forward to.

What is genuine?

So sometimes no matter what you do it is still not good enough to anyone. Your life can some how seem like it is headed in the right direction, that things are once again on their way to being on track- whether a financial state, relationship or career angle, it is all the same. Ups and downs and sideways tracks, one step forward one step back.
Positivity they say can spread and lift a person up and negativity and doubt can spread like wildfire and set you back twice as fast as positivity builds you up! I think that we spend a little too much time analysing what it is we should do instead of doing it. The things we write down, the things we visualize and the things that we say can all turn out to come true if we put them out there enough, so why the heck are we repeatedly putting out all the negative stuff, all of our fears, our doubts? Is it easier to think that we will fail than to believe we can succeed? I think so. I think that we don't have enough confidence, we don't believe that we deserve the good sometimes. It is easier to just come down hard on our self or to say that it is impossible, rather than to believe, to try- because sometimes we would rather not try and not risk failing rather than try and perhaps succeed. No one WANTS to fail, no one wants to think that they are not good at something or cannot follow through, but you know what, no one becomes successful, no one even fails with out trying, and at least you can say you tried, pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again. I am repeatedly motivating others to believe in themselves, to try and accomplish their goals, to have confidence and to show others that their hard work and dedication is making a difference. Sometimes a little recognition for our hard work is all we are asking for to keep on doing what we are doing, to know we are making a difference and to positively reinforce that what we do matters to someone, that someone is proud of our accomplishments and wants us to continue to be the person we are and to do the things that we do best, even if we should already know we are good at something, it is nice to be reminded about it from time to time to keep our sanity. How do we know that we are worthy if once and a while we aren't told so? I had a conversation with a co-worker today after listening in on a call he made to a student, his sincerity for the student's success struck me as very honest, genuine and believable, no sales gimmicks, no false sense that all he was looking to do was collect a paycheck. After he hung up I asked him where he learned how to be such a caring genuine person? He attributed this to his parents, especially his mom and the way he was raised. I asked him if he thanked her often, I think he was kind of surprised by my question, but he chuckled and said, probably not enough. Wow, that is powerful. Sometimes we are grateful to others for something that they have done, for something that we were taught, for something that they contributed to our life, but yet they are the last people we thank on a regular basis. Why you ask? Most of the time I think we believe that they ought to know this already and don't feel the urge or the need to repeat our gratefulness. I do believe though that positive reinforcement no matter whether you have been told already 100 times, it is still good to hear the gratitude that someone has toward you, or the ways they believe in you and are really proud of you, or really thankful for something that you have done for them or showed them. Sometimes we are quick to pick out all the things they have done wrong or the way that we wouldn't have done them. But usually the good outweighs the bad in MOST situations, so why are we so quick to emphasize the wrong instead of right? Is it easier? Does it make us feel more adequate if we can pick out someone else's flaw?
I think if we can develop an "attitude of gratitude" as they say, on a more regular basis, the world would be a lot happier place with a little less conflict and a little less guilt. But that is just my opinion. This next week I am going to try harder to thank the people who mean the most to me, to be grateful for the things I have been shown, for the gifts and talents that I have been given.I will easily let go of irritations, the negatives and the wrongs and to concentrate only on the stuff that others are doing right. When someone else says something negative about a person or situation, I am going to try hard to turn it into something more positive. I am going to ask for direction on how to use my talents and strengths to help others and consistently try to make a difference for others and be a better me. I know it takes time and effort and is a constant uphill battle as they say, but I never want to give up hope, and I never want to stop trying! I want be me, to be genuine, to care about everyone and to love UNCONDITIONALLY.

Moving Forward

Today I will not put my doubts in front of my dreams. I will move forward to a place where I chose happiness. I look forward to resolving my issues and frustrations and accomplish the goals I set for myself this day. I will not let my circumstances control my thoughts, ideas or attitude and if they do I will squash them right there and then. I can chose to be a upbeat, hope filled woman. I can chose how to react to my circumstances. I will take this day to control my circumstances and find the best solutions to resolve the current conflicts in my life. I can chose to be the best person that I can be, to set an example for others and that is all I can expect of myself.
Today I take control, it is my control to take, to do with it what God has intended me to do. To guide me in the right direction. Failure is inevitable, but we can try our best to succeed. We cannot always control our circumstances, no matter how hard we try, but we can make the most of them, learn from them. Fear should not be my enemy, fear should not defeat me. I can stand up to fear and obstacles and face them head on. Today I can do this.
I must remember that I am truly blessed to be where I am in my life at this moment and time, make peace with this and do all the things I can to strive for my future, however remain satisfied with NOW.
Whatever you are going through in your life right now, I wish you peace, I wish you joy, I wish you happiness and content with where you are at now and what you are looking forward to changing for your future.

Passion

What is your passion, what drives you to do the things you do? to keep you going every day? I can say that my family is my passion. That I love the time I spend with them, the memories I create. It doesn't matter what we do just that we are together. The more time I have to spend with them the more I appreciate what I do have. I am blessed with many things in my life that I do take for granted.
When I have a passion for something, I think it makes a lot of difference not only in my attitude but in my approach to any given situation. I may not have the ideal dream job that I am wanting, but the minute that I realized that I could find a passion for what I am doing, which in actuality is helping others, I took it and ran with the notion, the buy in that I am in some small way making a difference in other people's lives. Today I had a student tell me that if it wasn't for my encouragement, my belief in her success, she would have probably given up and failed two classes, she thanked me for my kind words and making a difference in her life, from saving her money and the repeat of two courses, and her time. I was genuinely tickled at her reaction and her kind words. When people are appreciative of what I do every day it reminds me that I do make a difference, no matter how small, and that is what drives me to be passionate about what I do every day, whether it is where I want to be at this moment in time or not, it is where I am and I should make the most of it. The buy in, the positive attitude, the confidence no matter how small are driving me to be successful and good at what I do, that may make all the difference in where I go.
In every single moment, we have the choice to be happy or not. No matter what is going on, we can choose to focus on what is right, what is good and whole in ourselves and our lives, and what options we have in any given situation. In other words, we can choose to be happy no matter what.” ~MJ Ryan

Wish I knew HIS plan

So God has a plan for us, it may not be our plan, it may not be what we are hoping for, looking for or even dreaming of, but wouldn't it be nice if we knew what the plan was? Don't get me wrong, if God has a plan for me I sure intend to follow it, I just wish I knew where to start and what to follow, I'd stop chasing the things I think I want to do or need to be and jump right on board with what I am suppose to be doing. I think I pray for the right thing to come along, for some sign that I am heading in the right direction and sometimes it seems I still come up empty handed. Well, I guess I will keep praying, searching and looking for the right thing until it is the right thing. I will look for the smart choices in the stillness of my day, I will learn to be happy with what is before me each day. To have an Attitude of Gratitude as some say. To be grateful each morning for the 24 hours before me to do what it is that is needed of me, to go through each step of every day as if it is a blessing a stepping stone for what my talents are calling me to do, I will accept that I am who I am in this moment in time and be happy about my life and my health. I will continue to strive to better myself and hopefully good will happen along the way.

MOMS

I just want to start out by saying that I am learning how to be a mom because I had the best example that I could have had. She is the greatest match for me. Her contribution to my life and my success and helped shape me to be the adult that I have grown to be. She has taught me compassion, love, forgiveness and so much more. I am blessed with a Mother who is there for me no matter what, no matter how rude or mean I can be sometimes, no matter my mood; she continues to give me her constant unfailing and unconditional love. She will never stray nor walk away from me. She is my biggest fan. I am who I am because of her amazing contributions to my life.
I want to be that for my child. I want to be his biggest fan. I want to make decisions to raise him to not only be a great kid, but to be a loving, kind and respectful adult who can contribute to society and make his mark upon the world. I want to be the best role model, the greatest example and I want to challenge myself to put my best foot forward every day to accomplish this. I need to give 100% of myself EVERY DAY and show him that he is truly loved, that no matter what I am there for him and I will guide him through. As his greatest example, I hope that he becomes the best person he can by watching me love and support him.
For all you Mothers out there. I challenge you to be the best MOM you can be EVERY DAY, but know that even when we don't know the answers, make the right decisions and sometimes we screw up, just as we are our child's BIGGEST FAN, they in turn our OURS.

do you want to scream

Do you ever just really want to scream "why me, Lord" or any variation there of! Can the little frustrations of the day spiral you into that grumpy, leave me alone, can I wake up and start all over mood? A friend and I were talking yesterday and it seems that often times these little things don't seem so bad when they are dispensed over time, dropping here and there periodically. However when you have a multitude of otherwise minimal things happen to you in the course of a day or even spread over a week, sometimes you get a tad bit overwhelmed and can't help but feel that frustration explode through you, not letting anything stand in its way. Sometimes your attitude can really affect how you treat other people. Even if it isn't in your slightest intention to cause someone else to hurt. Sometimes however I think we get so overwhelmed by the laundry list of little frustrations in a week/day etc, that we often don't even see what is going to happen in our path along the way.
I am not proud of any harsh words or lashing out that I may do, none of us I am sure are. However, none of us are perfect, all of us could use a little, maybe even a lot of improving, and we hope that those who get bumped along on our rampage, are forgiving, loving understanding and know that the way we act sometimes happens to the best of us.
Remember often and remind yourself, that it is best to treat people the way they want to be treated, not the way you want to be treated sometimes.

This was my daily devotional today:
We should learn to trust God’s timing, but we are sorely tempted to do otherwise. Why? Because we humans are usually anxious for things to happen sooner rather than later, but God knows better. God has created a world that unfolds according to His own timetable, not ours- thank goodness! We mortals would make a terrible mess of things. God does not. His plan does not always happen in the way we would like or at the time of our choosing. But our task is to wait patiently and never lose hope. In the words of Elisabeth Elliot, “We must learn to move according to the timetable of the Timeless One, and to be at peace.” That’s the advice worth following today, tomorrow, and every day.

God’s delays and His ways can be confusing because the process God uses to accomplish His will can go against human logic and common sense. – Anne Graham Lotz

I have decided that I am going to do my part and then put it in someone else's hands. If it is meant for me it will happen. I will not be disappointed if I try my best, give it my all and 100% dedication.

opportunity

Have you ever been searching for an opportunity to do something that you have always wanted? A door to open and someone to say "hey this is what you've been searching for." "Come and get it." I think many of us on a day-to-day basis are looking for that sign, that opportunity to knock us over the head and say "look at me, look at me." Your future destiny knocking at your door.
Often times I think as we are searching for that something we often fail to see the something that is searching for us because we are too busy looking behind or ahead to see what is right in front of us. Helen Keller put it best, "When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us."We are so busy living in the past or searching for the future that the present moment passes us by and we lose out on now.
As I continue to develop my competencies at my current job and in my life, I am finding ways and seeing how paying attention to the now instead of how I react to the past or worry about the future is really starting to help me be conscience of the present and give my commitment to the task or situation at hand. In turn this allows me to have more control over the situation and better equip to handle it. Relieving me just a little bit from my stress and anxieties caused by living in the past or the future.
An excerpt from one of my favorite books Mr. Everett's Secret, reads: Before you climb the ladder of success, be sure you have it set against the right wall.
This is amazingly true, you may be good at a lot of things, you may not sure what you are searching for and therefore you will stumble upon a lot of false hopes trying to find the thing that is suited for you. Stick to what you are good at, be confident in what you know, don't be afraid to take a leap or make a change but be sure it is what you want first.

believe in yourself

How often do we let ourselves think that we can't do something, that we aren't good enough or we don't deserve it. This is truly an every day occurrence in a lot of situations we come across. How quick we are to get defensive when someone criticizes what we are doing, or makes a suggestion for a better way. In our own way we believe what we are doing is right, we are doing what we have always done, or working for the better. Is it really that shocking that we tend to close up, to shut down to feel we are a lesser being, we someone makes us feel smaller than we think of our self? Whether it be at home, at work, with a friend, somehow, someway, each day we experience some sort of criticism from ourselves or someone else, that draws us a little further away from that dream, that hope that we had of our own form of success. When instances like these happen repeatedly we often lose faith in our own ability to accomplish something. It is hard to defeat someone who has taken up residence inside your head.

We often give up that hope that faith that we do not see yet somehow at some point thought we could reach. No matter your dream, if you think it possible you can make it possible. Successful people pay more attention to their own goals and visions than the opinions of others around them.

"People become really quite remarkable when they start thinking that they can do things. When they believe in themselves they have the first secret of success."

~ Norman Vincent Peale ~

Tonight I am thankful for my inner cheerleader, my will for success, my drive, my ambition, my family, their support, my desire to help others, my faith and my spirit. May tomorrow bring many blessings and may I prosper and grow into the person I knew I could always be.

ME

I think I am back, I think that I am here to stay. I have gotten some great advise over the past few weeks on how to rediscover myself, be myself and go with the flow. I am now more prepared to live my dreams, don't let my obstacles get in the way, enjoy what I am doing while I am doing it, still dream big, know that I am destined to do great things, be a positive spirit for others, share my sunshine and give back and pay forward. I am not sure that I will always stay here, but I am certainly going to try. I am ME, I believe in ME, there is no one out there exactly like ME, I need to accept ME, embrace ME and be ME.

"Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world."

Harriet Tubman
1822-1913, Abolitionist

what does success mean to you

I think that often times we measure our success not by what we think it means to be successful but what we think others think it means to be successful. The very first definition of success in the dictionary states: the favourable outcome of something attempted- many of us often link success to money and how much money it takes to be successful can be different to every one, just like how is success defined can vary. But do we really need money to be successful? Does it have to be associated with each other, can it be? Yes of course, but does it have to define us? No. We can be successful at many attempts of anything in our life. From finding our keys in the morning before we walk out the door to finishing the dishes at night before we go to bed, to getting a better job, spending time with our loved ones after a hard day all the way to becoming a millionaire and every where in between. You can often times be more successful yearning for something then how much you can earn at it. Success does not equal money. As Zig Ziglar said- Success is not measured by what you do compared to what others do, it is measured by what you do with the ability God gave you. He also said- you can always earn money but can never get back time wasted. I love this and it is so true. Time is gone in a blink of an eye, an unkind word, a missed chance, an opportunity gone by.. pay attention to your calling, listen for it, find it embrace it, you never know what you may be missing.

Time

There is definitely something to be said for time. Time can allow a lot of potential in your life. Today was a day that I felt that time and patience allowed me to accomplish a lot of the necessary things that I had been needing to do. Things that the weekend did not allow for due to being to busy working every day.
I finished my book edits, wrote some contracts, played with my son, made dinner, paid some bills, and some other unmentioned items of paperwork. I wish every day allowed for me to have this sense of calm in my life. I think the hurried attitude that I constantly feel the need to have really isn't all that healthy but sometimes unpreventable. This time that I experienced today will prove positive results in my near future I am almost certain of it. I will keep my chin up, smile and carry the confident attitude that I need to produce the results I am looking for. If I can visualize it, I receive the instructions on how to make it happen. Positive thoughts prove positive results.
Here is to patience and taking my time, to hear what my opportunities may be.

Wow, what a day! I could have totally had it be a crappy one for the start that I had. Apparently something is wrong with my alarm, my husband didn't set his and I planned to wake up at 4 to do a little cardio workout before work. Paxton fussed a few times in the middle of the night and the dog had to go out so my sleep pattern was interrupted more than a few times. I guess the odds were against me, or maybe in my favor when I woke up startled to face the clock that said 5:28 AM, someone must have thought I needed a little more sleep time! Granted my alarm clock is about 10 minutes fast but I usually leave the house at 5:35 AM so 5:18 doesn't allow for much time to get ready. I somehow was able to get dressed, pull my hair in a ponytail, shove some lunch in my lunch bag and get out the door by 5:45 only 10 minutes later than normal. I made it to work makeup-less but somehow only 8 minutes late. I had to be grateful that I wasn't too late, I got there safely and in a pretty decent mood. I am trying to begin to realize that there are certain things that we can't fix, re-do or change. It is what it is and we have to accept it and look forward. I was proud of myself for remaining calm and not letting it ruin my day. My husband made it to work exactly on time for him, YAY!
I had a great day at work. I started my day off with my friend who loves to keep me in check of my attitude and emotions and I of hers. We have been doing daily worksheets and lists to keep us in check of our lives and our emotions and allow us to focus on our daily tasks rather than outside circumstances, not only to be productive employees but also personally grateful for the things we do have.
Once a week we do a Questions to ask myself daily worksheet, this helps to focus on what we are doing in our life to bring about the things we want the most. Other days we just make lists like why we have enough or why we deserve more. Today our list was: The things we liked most about our self? It is really hard to answer this question at times I think. Sometimes we are too modest, sometimes to conservative and sometimes feel to embarrassed to share with others how we truly feel about ourselves not wanting to look egotistical or self centered. I think we don't boost ourselves up enough. Frankly sometimes I think I am awesome and I should! I work hard and I need to remember to believe in myself, believe in my abilities, believe that God has planned for me to do great things with my life and be grateful that I am here to do these things. As I said last night on my face book page, it is never to late to be what you might have been.

Random Acts of Kindness

Have you ever had someone do something for you that was kind but unexpected? Have you ever done something for someone and they didn't even know it was you? How about for a complete stranger?
On my way to the zoo this morning I decided that since I had given up coffee for lent I deserved a yummy Soy Chai Latte from Starbucks; A Venti nonetheless. I went through the drive thru, when I approached the window the lady smiled really big and said, here you go have a nice day the lady in the vehicle in front of you paid for your drink... I looked at her and said " you are kidding right? Did she know me?" She said no, she just paid for it. Wow, I was speechless. I was on the phone with my husband at the time that couldn't believe it either. I silently said a prayer and blessed the lady for having such a kind heart. I truly felt blessed. It really amazes me in this day and time that someone would be so nice as to do this for me. Why was I the lucky one? I decided that it was not for me to question, just to add to my list of things to be grateful for and to pay it forward someday.
Og Mandino's Rule Ten of a Better Way to Live states:
Beginning today, treat everyone you meet, friend or foe, loved one or stranger, as if they were going to die at midnight. Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again.

5 simple questions

I never thought that 5 simple questions on a written interview would be such a huge deal to me or make me think deeper about myself, who I am and where I want to be. I never thought it would take me 5 days to approach them with gusto. It is amazing to me how little we can have confidence in our self when we think it may be of the utmost importance. I guess sometimes it is hard to praise our self and not in some little way seem cocky about it. I am a pretty modest person, but I think I am good at the things I do and I am proud of myself for my accomplishments, yet I don't want to seem like one of those people that everyone deems stuck up, stuck on themselves or too good for others. I want my abilities to be natural, I want to maintain approachability and trust of others, I want to remain free of judgement but still motivate others to reach a place where they too have confidence and give 100% of themselves to whatever their cause or passion may be. I want to worry less and enjoy more, I want to fear less and do more. I want to approach things with ease not struggle. I want to be passionate in the things I do, give my best to every situation that I encounter, I may not be able to choose my situation, but I can definitely handle and control how I deal with it. I need to remember to always walk in my own shoes, never someone else's.

who am I

Sometimes I think that I contemplate too many things and it is hard to make a decision. I second guess myself as I think we all do at times. My latest dilemma deals with my books and how I want the world to see me as an author.
I have contemplated how I should sign my books and it really took a lot of thinking and a good friend to help me see what the right thing would be, even though it might not be what she originally intended.
I remember as far back as 5th or 6th grade writing poetry, then short stories. I have always signed them Dani Rae. Growing up Danielle Rae Jen, only a few people referred to me in this way. I guess I felt maybe it distinguished me no maybe defined me as a writer? Nonetheless, I didn't want to hurt anyones feelings or have someone take it the wrong way now that I am now Dani Miller, I have not always been Dani Miller and that is not what defines me.
I asked a close friend who has known me as both. In a way I think she was trying to get me to see that it was okay to be Dani Rae, even if I struggled with it being too personal for a children's book. She said the books are inspired by your beautiful bay boy, so yes it is personal in a way, the artist in me wrote the book and my artist is danirae. Then it hit me, it was my beautiful baby boy that inspired me to write my children's series and I highly doubt I would be the mother of my beautiful baby boy, if I hadn't become Dani Miller and for that, that is who I am now.

Lent

There are plenty of things I have given up in the past that weren't really huge, things that I knew I could have again eventually or things that maybe I didn't have on a daily basis, like sweets. I really agree about the meaning and reason behind why a lot of Christian faith's "give up" something during this time, many people give there word and don't last 1 week, 1/2 way let alone all the way to the end of Lent, even when I was a kid growing up, we could have whatever we gave up on Sundays. As I was sitting in church on Sunday listening to the priest talk about Lent and sacrifice and keeping your word in a society that is easy to give into peer pressure and go with the crowd it dawned on me that sometimes I think we give up things that we know we can or that we have before, otherwise we have a fear of failing or not sticking to our word. Why it is that we do this I am not certain. Are we really easy to give in to pressure and our own mind somehow telling us it is okay to cheat or go back on our original promise whether it be to our self or someone else? I often times think that it is easy to make up excuses in our head as to why it is okay to slip up, make that mistake, lots of people mess up you just start over again. It goes back to the same principles that I have talked about before. You can promise yourself you will diet starting Monday, you will start exercising for sure, you will read more, spend more time with the ones you love, do something once a month for yourself, call your loved ones more, quit smoking, give up alcohol, candy, sweets, carbs, caffeine or some other crutch you have... and when it doesn't work out, heck no worries you will just do it again... starting Monday.
I think this habit of allowing ourselves to do it again has led us to go against our original word. Take marriage for example, it is such a norm for divorce nowadays. If it isn't working out, no biggie we can get out of it, move on to the next person and try again. This is really sad. I hope that my marriage continues to grow and I am never faced with such a situation. It takes effort and sometimes I think we are too tired in this fast paced world to put much effort into a lot of things that we do.
I have let the priest sermon sink in, it really makes me feel that whatever it is that I give my word on I should definitely strive to stick to it, hold myself accountable, not be picky/choosy when it comes to what I can make myself stick to and eh, what is okay to take back. My word should be my word whether to myself or someone else.
So today I give my word that I will take this Lenten Season to renew my commitment to myself and God.
I will give up coffee (this is going to be a hard one, not only because I wake up for work at 4:30 AM but because I have grown accustom to the taste and the pleasure of drinking my flavored creamer coffee on my hour drive to work.)
I am also throwing in a do, on top of my sacrifice, I will be more patient with myself and not allow things to get to me, things happen beyond my control and the more upset I get about a situation the more negative energy I release.
Hopefully with the combination of both of these things plus my dedication to going to the gym 3-4 days a week will give me a much needed boost in energy to climb from any slumps that may have appeared over the course of the past couple years.
"Everyone who got to where they are had to begin where they were." - Richard Paul Evans

why let it get to me

Oh how I wish that things didn't get me so upset. I hate it when you try to explain something to someone over and over and truly feel that you may as well be talking to a brick wall. There are certain situations that I wish I could just make go away, medical bills that I don't agree with (granted some of what is owed I understand) but the hidden fees and non explained items up front don't settle right in my book. When you offer a service to someone and make it sound great but don't say there is a fee attached it kind of rubs me the wrong way. When I provide a service for someone I am going to say what they are getting involved in up front, I am going to be honest, I am going to treat the customer with respect and I am going to fully explain everything. I am not going to use lingo they don't understand without explaining it, I am going to make sure that the customer is satisfied and if they are not I am going to correct it or figure out a plan. Too many businesses these days are so big that one or a few dissatisfied people are really not going to hurt the business as a whole and therefore they feel they have the power to treat others with disrespect and negligence. It is quite absurd.
Now that I just vented I am going to let this go, think positive that I will get it straightened out this week (after 15 months of argument) before I stress my self out even more, and just list all the little things today that I am thankful for. To concentrate on the good, the positive and allow my attitude to reflect those things and not the frustrations that I apparently cannot control no matter how hard I try.
I am grateful for my husband who helped out this morning.
For my adorable little kid.
My in laws for watching my son so I could go to a meeting for Real Estate after work.
For my husband for cooking dinner and putting our son to bed.
For my mom who supports me in everything I do.
For the sunshine, blue skies and beautiful weather.
For co-workers who believe in my abilities.
For friends.
Going to the gym and getting a great workout.
Sticking to my eating and workout plan.
Getting an accepted contract.
Learning about new marketing tools that will help increase my RE business.
For talking with a student who brightened my day.
For understanding people.
I am grateful for much much more.
Today this entry may be a little random, but the venting helped.
This quote of the day sums me up in a nutshell a lot of the time.

"Most people are so busy knocking themselves out trying to do everything they think they should, they never get around to do what they want to do."

Kathleen Winsor
1919-2003, Author

Reaction verses Response

I have really thought long and hard all day about this just trying to figure out how to piece it all together.
I am really a reaction person, it isn't that I didn't know this about me, I just wasn't sure how to correct it. At work we are working on smart goals ones that have to improve of customer service skills, and of course can spill over into our life skills as well.
I am somewhat of a perfectionist, in my own way, I strive really hard to make others feel good about themselves and try hard to do everything I do the best way I know how. I put a lot of effort in every day and when someone disagrees with what I am doing, when I am questioned or told I am doing something wrong, something inside of me sinks and I am quick to defend my honor, to explain why I did what I did or said what I said, I know at work I am improving on this skill, I am listening more and letting what I am told sink in. I step back look for the opportunity, think about it and then respond rather than trying to fix the person's problem from the beginning. I want to actively listen and help the person, because helping others truly makes me happy. I look forward to the feedback that I receive from co-workers on the things I can do to improve my skills. There is really nothing that I am perfect at and there is always room to grow.
I wonder why it is so hard to do this at home? Why can't I take the time to really listen to what I am being told, or if I feel offended or hurt in some way, why is it that I chose to lash out or yell or defend myself by reacting to the first thing that crosses my mind that I "think" someone else is thinking about me, or because of a lack of confidence that I have in myself. Why do I feel I need to put words in someones mouth. What am I possibly gaining from this besides an even bigger heaping mess? Yet, I repeatedly do this to myself as well as the person from which the criticism is coming.
I need to take the skills that I am learning at work- rename my criticism as areas of opportunity and learn how to be a better me from the feedback. I currently let the feedback feel like a direct punch to me and my pride and ego. I need to learn to not be so harsh on myself. I need to not view my inadequacies as bad as I think they are. Someone else may not view it that way, but do I really stop and ask questions or give them a chance to explain? No, I react quickly.
I think that I am really really hard on myself and I make a bigger mess of the situation at times when I could have asked more questions and left the day or evening in peace. I am a quick forgiver, but not every one is. I feel that as humans we should be allowed to vent our frustrations with those we love even if we lash out and in 5 minutes hug and be forgiven. I just need to de-stress. Not every one is wired that way, and I need to respect that. Maybe I just need to grab a glass of wine and take some deep breaths first. I need to adapt to others and the way they operate. I need to step back try and talk about the issue. I need to stop making a bigger mess with those who I love the most and love me the most. I need to react less and respond more.
I never would have guessed that I could improve a situation by mostly strangers giving me their feedback on my areas of opportunity and the ones I love tend to bring out the worst in me when they criticize me.
Tonight I am grateful for the opportunity to grow, both at work and at home. For the deep breath I will take whenever I want to react to a situation. For pausing and allowing what is said to truly sink in and perhaps the reason behind it.
I am grateful for each day set before me to improve myself and improve my relationships. Ultimately I will become a better daughter, wife, parent, teacher, friend, employee and whatever hat I may be wearing.
I know that this journey is not easy for me being that I have been a defensive, reactive person most of my life, but I am willing to take the steps to improve.
One day at a time, one situation at a time, this will make all the difference. The baby steps are what matters most in the bigger picture.
Stole this Horescope off someone else's facebook page, pretty much sums up the above.
Don't waste your time worrying about something you can't undo. If a mistake was made there is no use focusing on it to the exclusion of those things you do have power over. You may not be able to change what has already occurred, but you can certainly take a different path now that could compensate for any losses. The key is to take a positive rather than a negative approach. A negative approach dwells on "what if" and the past. A positive approach deals with the here and now, and the influence you can have over the future.

Paying ATTENTION

Have you ever been introduced to someone and 30 seconds later you forgot their name? In the hustle bustle of today's society when we are trying to multi-task and thinking ahead to the next thing that we are waiting to do or contemplating our schedules for the week, it is easy to overlook certain details. We can get so wrapped up in ourselves, our families and our day to day activities, we often don't take the time or interest in others. Whether at work, with our friends lives or anyone else that may need our empathy or care we need to take the time to make others feel important, take interest, ask someone "how are you doing today" and really mean it, listen intently you never know when that simple phrase can make a difference in that persons life. Set aside our agenda and they may even make that difference we are in need of as well.
Last week they featured a story on the news that really restored my faith in the kindness, selflessness and care that another human being can have. An elderly lady who ordered a pepperoni pizza every day for 3 years had not ordered for 3 days in a row, the pizza delivery lady that was always assigned to deliver her a pizza took notice and drove by the lady's home and knocked on the door. When no one answered she called 911, the elderly women had fallen almost 3 days prior and could not get up... the delivery lady who took it upon herself to pay attention to detail and truly care about the women...made all the difference. How many of us may have chalked it up to the lady being on vacation or having relatives visiting, or perhaps she just got sick of eating pizza and would have never called upon her to see that she was okay. I would like to think I would have had the same instincts as the delivery lady, but would I have? I think that it was a wake up call for me to pay attention to detail, take notice of the little things, and be confident that others will pay attention to me, and someday that may make a difference.

frustrations

Yesterday morning I woke up rather early about 3:15 to my usual 4:30 with thoughts in my head regarding medical bills that I was fighting and what my next step in the process would be to appeal these bills I didn't feel I was responsible for; So I didn't quite get as much sleep as I anticipated and I was already a little stressed upon waking. I was relatively on time yesterday to drop my son at my mother-in-laws on my way to work, I was driving thinking again about bills and the things that I had to do for the day, when to my surprise lights flashed behind me; REALLY, come on it is 5:30AM and no one on the road.. except the cop; so I pulled over and barely cracked my window, explained that I didn't really know what I had done wrong, I was on my way to the sitter and had a lot on my mind and was just driving, I was informed of going 58 in a 45, swallowed hard handed over my info and started balling the minute the cop walked away from my car, thinking to myself, was I really that wrapped up in what I was doing that I hadn't even glanced at my speedometer 2 miles away from my house; in the dark with my son in the car, was our safety really in my best interest? I was more upset at this then I think I was that I got pulled over. Long story short I got a warning and please drive safely ma'am when he returned, I thanked him and silently blessed him as I pulled away- needless to say I was 4 minutes late for work, changed my attitude and tried to go on with my day, I was presented with yet a few more obstacles at work that also dampened my mood and my confidence in myself- I left work to pick up my rental from my incident last week and ended up waiting for over 1 hour for a rental car and arguing with none other than the doctors office who coincidentally called to discuss my medical bill, the very one that started my day ever so early. I apologized if I took out anything on her but that I was frustrated and had been for the past 17 months trying to figure out this bill and not pay more than my fair share of what was owed, she would check into a little further and get back to me; Yay, I can worry less for a little while at least. I then went to show a condo (of course I was late due to the delay in the car- long story and not worth getting into) clients loved the property (of which the agent says was available). It was bank owned and of course when we went to put in an offer today, they had multiple offers. Hopefully ours will be good enough. Woke up about 5 times in the middle of the night last night, none of which was the fault of my kid, husband or dog... I just would become awake and look at the clock as if it were time to get up and start my day, when in fact it was like 10, 11, 1, 3.....so by the time it was actually time to wake up I was so dead tired, I really wish I had more sick days. I ended up praising the fact that my marriage has been great and things are starting to look up we are getting along fantastic and appreciating each other, really working as a team to a friend on my way home, just in time to come home to argue over something extremely stupid- which now a few hours later I honestly can't remember what it was.......
Oh the little things that can add up in a day and frustrate us all to heck. The minimal things that by themselves can seem not such big deals. But if any of you are like me when one little thing happens after another that just isn't in your game plan, it can really throw your mood off and set a negative tone for the day. I try to abide by the rule that you shouldn't sweat the small stuff and that you can't always control your circumstances but you can control your attitude! I think these are really good rules to live by, but I also think we are only human and every once in a while it is nice to just let it flow, the anger the frustration and self pity- throw it out there, get rid of it and move on- or take a nice hot bath and get a massage... .or in my case write about it.

easy as 1, 2 ,3

Is it ever as easy as it seems... probably not, but then again if we didn't work for it is it really an accomplishment. What are we striving for in life I wonder. It would be nice to have it handed to us, but then do we really appreciate it? I am not certain. So I have worked my whole weekend, to find out that the house my clients want has been snatched up... what to do? I guess they pick something else, or come and look again, across states. I do know one thing, I really miss it. I miss the full time gig, the enjoyment of helping someone find their perfect fit. I want that back, the freedom and the satisfaction.... so I guess I am looking for my hubby to get a way better paying job with benefits, or for me to get a telecommuting position so I am not spending so much time commuting every week and I can focus on what I truly enjoy... which doesn't happen to be my current full time job. I pray for someone to recognize my talents and for God to point me in the right direction to use them to service others. I know that I tell myself daily, and I am sure that every one who knows me has heard that life is a journey not a destination... I really do wish sometimes the journey was a little less strenuous and a little more fulfilling.... and I would truly know why I am going through what I am to get there. In the long run there is a reason, sometimes I wish I knew the underlying reason and sometimes I would rather not and just move on. But in any case... I am here for the journey,the good the bad and the worse. I welcome the challenges because I am capable, I can handle things if the go wrong, it is okay to make mistakes and even fail at times, people who fail at least tried, I can try, I am responsible for me and my attitude and it is all a learning experience.
Keep learning, keep doing and get your ducks in a row. Then, when an opportunity knocks, you're ready. -Buck Owens.

thoughtfulness

Today I am grateful for the opportunities that I had to make a difference for someone else as well as allow others to make a difference for me. I am extremely grateful for friendship and family. Great opportunities to help others seldom come, but small ones surround us every day. - Sally Koch
I am glad that I had the opportunity to help someone today, and the opportunity for someone to help me. It is the little things that add up, the every day thoughtfulness of others, the every day thoughtfulness we give to others that truly makes an everlasting mark on our heart. Don't wait to do that one big thing that makes a difference, if you do you will miss out on a whole lot more potential opportunities.

I work at a school, so now I guess I feel it is expected that I go to school, I'm book smart(even though I have always truly hated school) and probably should go but I am not really sure what is motivating me to do it except it looks good to move up or on paper, or other people think I should, or I think I should, but is there really desire there, do I have the passion that some of my students who would climb mountains and drive through ice storms, post in their hospitals and any other obstacle around them.... I could probably do it but I need to get better at what I am doing, not add something else to the mix.
I don't really need a Master's degree to write children's books, or write at all, or do real estate or sell Scentsy product, or mother a 16 month old all of which I am currently doing and did I mention the 11 hours away from home with my job, the 10 hours I spend in the car a week driving, that I am tired by 6:30 every night, I wake up at 4:30 every morning, and I am not sure I am motivated enough to do it to just do it with no end goal in site, why did I pick my program, not sure, it was the most interesting one... I did a part time gig with government, I have volunteered for non-profits, thought it may be more interesting to find out if I am meant to take that route?
Time is precious and I have a lot of other stuff going on right now. I just hate to quit especially after week 1. LOL! REALLY what was I thinking, someone snap some sense into me. I see all these other people do it, single mom's with 3 kids and 2 jobs... blah blah blah, and you know what I need to do is stop comparing myself to others... That is where I fall into the trap. I am not other people I am me, I should not let what other people do, what is good for them or what others think that I can do persuade me to do something that I really truly don't know why I am doing it.
I think that if I spend 1/2 as much time a week on one of my other projects instead of the time I am spending to study and go to school, I may just be a lot more successful and accomplish something.
I was listening this morning to a segment on the radio about a cause within, this is a new book that came out yesterday to help you find your purpose, the author stated that when you serve others you will find out what you are good at and what you are intended to do. You can not find out what it is that you are suppose to do to make more money, be more successful, it is when you give up these reasons for finding your purpose that you will find your true purpose. I really felt that was pretty profound and would love to share a little more, when I read the book.