100% Control

I have talked about reactive situations and re-creating myself to be the best me that I can on several previous blogs. I was recently reminded of how my defensive nature can sometimes ruin an immediate situation because I don't have the time to stop and let something sink in, I just immediately lash out with sometimes negative comments that don't usually make the situation any better, and most of the time worse- even though that may not be my intention. I would never intentionally hurt some one's feelings, but sometimes that is just what happens. I am again glad that I can take constructive criticism (once I truly think about the situation- I wish it was more immediate so I didn't lash out).
What we say and what comes out of our mouth can easily be apologized for and often if not most of the times forgiven and maybe forgot about, but never taken back, as if it didn't happen.
I don't know if any of you are like me in the fact that you have really high expectations of yourself and how you should be to others, how the things that you touch and are a part of your life so easily get absorbed into something that you feel responsible for, even if you cannot control the person or thing, you somehow feel that you "the internal perfectionist" that you are should not allow it to happen, but honestly no matter how many times that I have felt like I should be able to control a person or situation simply because it affects me or would make me somehow look bad, I honestly can't take responsibility for anything that I don't have 100% control over- on the other hand; MY REACTION- 100% control.
So in other words, I don't have 100% control over my family members, what they do or say, how they feel or react, a real estate transaction that another person causes to not go as smoothly as "I" had planned, or some one's positive or negative reaction to something I say or do. So why is it that I feel responsible to justify or defend something that I cannot fully control.  Sometimes I feel like the elephant trying to balance on the beach ball trying to juggle it all when I need to just stand on both feet and take in only what I know that I can handle- all the other things that I "think" I can handle often tend to be the "reactions" that I really could have avoided.
I can control my reactions, my weight, what I put into my mouth, how much I exercise, the words that come out of my mouth, my intentions, my effort, my talent God has given me, my attitude, how I treat others, the time I spend with those I love,  my spending, etc. So therefore, today I will concentrate on the things that I know that I can control allowing my peace of mind, balance and stability to ensure that even though I cannot guarantee that I will not have the reactive/defensive moments in the future, I will have the ability to control having them less because I am focused on the things I can control and making myself better in the categories that I KNOW that I can.