When you learn a lesson too.

A few weeks ago we went out to eat after one of Paxton's golf clinic lessons with my sister-in-law and family. We went to one of those restaurants where you order at the counter and sit down. Paxton decided to bring in my old phone that he likes to play games on. While we waited for the food he played and then set the phone down on the table. As we were leaving he skipped out ahead and I grabbed the phone and put it in my purse. As we were all standing outside chatting before we all got in separate vehicles and drove away... he realized he forgot the phone inside. He asked me if I had grabbed it I looked right at him and said "no". He ran back inside to look on the table and came back outside totally upset that his phone was missing and he would need to buy a new one. I said "buy a new one?" He said yes his was gone he needed to go buy a new one. I said " you lost your phone because you left it inside, that doesn't automatically grant you the right to buy a new one." He didn't even know what to say. As we got in the car and Steve and I lectured him about being responsible, he cried and said that he didn't mean to leave it and that no one even came out of the restaurant while we were standing there so he doesn't know who would have stole it. We swung over to the Home Depot parking lot for Steve to run inside for something we needed. Paxton continued to rant about needing a new phone. I said "Paxton, I took your phone off the table as you didn't remember to grab it, you are grounded from it for the rest of the day, you need to learn to be responsible and that things are not disposable, as they cost money and mom and dad work really hard to buy you nice things." His response and a slap in my face he says "Mom, you should be grounded from something, you lied to me." Wow! I didn't even know how to think, act or respond after that. I am sitting there trying to teach the kid a lesson and reason with him about being responsible and doing the right thing, owning up to his mistake... and he was dead right! When outside the restaurant he asked me if I grabbed his phone, I looked right at him and told him no... an obvious lie as the phone was tucked inside my purse. So... bad parenting moment? Or lesson I taught myself? If we want to teach our kids to be responsible, trustworthy and honest... our approach to "teaching" them a lesson needs some improvement. Sometimes in the heat of the moment of a situation we react in a way that may not give us the outcome we anticipate, but it sure teaches our kids that we are human and make mistakes and helps us to be a little more careful with our words and a little more forgiving the next time.