Chamomile, Earl Gray, lemon, honey, raspberry, green, black, white, hot or iced? So many different choices and not everyone is going to like the same. So why oh why would I think that I would be everyone's cup of tea?
What a stressful week of work related things, a few personal things and some other pressing things popping at the seams. I was irritated that in a particular situation someone thought I did less than a stellar job, that no matter all the good things that I had done, the one thing that was beyond my control somehow ended up my fault. I repeated it over and over in my mind. I know I juggle many things and we all have times where we could have done better or have room to improve. Believe me after all these years of real estate, I am still learning new things and from my experiences everyday. Every person, deal, situation, circumstance and outcome can be different! I think that is why I really like it so much and having been doing it so long. It is definitely not boring.
I don't know if any of you are like me but I really don't handle it well when someone doesn't like me, or after all my hard work and effort are less than appreciative. This is hard for me. I strive to be perfect even though I know I am not. I am hard on myself when I mess up, when I try so hard and it just doesn't work out, or when I can't make something come together they way they expected it. I try hard, I often give up money and time that is often unecessary just to make something work for the other person's benefit and therefore when my efforts are jabbed with a solid "I really don't think you did your job" of course I get defensive. Who me? The one with the kind heart and only good intentions... "yes you" it screams and the negative self talk happens. I end up stressed out over something I cannot control trying to make it right so no one is mad at me! Then I replay the situation and circumstances over in my head trying to fix it once again. You know, it is mentally and emotionally exhausting sometimes! My cortisol levels skyrocket in my fight or flight struggle in my body, no wonder I cannot loose weight!
Anyway throught my inner tormoil and speaking with a dear friend, she reminded me that I am not always going to be someone's cup of tea- no matter how hard I want to please everyone, I am just not going to. That often times I will receive the blunt end of someone else's struggle, issue or insecurity. A lot of times it is not even my fault at all! I being the kind, caring person that I am I get wrapped up in their drama and take it in, adopt it and deal with it even if it is only for short term during a transaction. But I take it in nonetheless and it becomes an added stress for me. And sometimes no matter how hard I try, how much I try to fix it or how much I do... I am just not their favorite tea.
This helped me let go of the day's drama and accept the fact that no matter how many times I played the circumstances over in my head or thought of what could have gone differently to get the outcome they wanted, I had to tell myself that it was beyond my control and trying to "fix" how someone feels about you is usually a dead end deal that is not worth my time or effort and what is in my best interest is to let it go, move on and regain my inner peace.
When I got the mail yesterday I received a wonderful thank you card from another client thanking me for an anniversary gift card I sent, telling me how much they enjoyed their new home over the last year and how much they enjoyed working with me on the sale and buy of their home. I was refreshed and ready to let go of what I can't change and enjoy the things that make me a better me.
I need to just remember that I cannot please everyone, I cannot control all circumstances and I cannot take ownership of someone else's insecurities. I need to protect my God given body and mind and preserve it to the best of my ablility so that I can stay healthy for my family and me.
Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on. _ Eckhart Tolle
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