How to feel or Not to feel, that is the question.

Have you ever had anyone tell you.. "Don't feel that way." With even the best of intentions, and believe me I have been the one to say this phrase to someone... feelings are neither right nor wrong, they are just our feelings, so honestly how can anyone tell us HOW to feel or not to feel? That is the question. Growing up my parents instilled in me that our feelings are neither right nor wrong, they are just feelings. Sometimes we have absolutely no control over how we feel or what we feel. Society often instructs us that if we feel a certain way it may not be the norm, the expected way to feel or we may be being too hard on ourselves based on a certain situation. Under certain circumstances we even feel guilty for the way we are feeling. If that isn't double the amount of stress we need, not only are we feeling we shouldn't feel that way but then we feel guilty about it. I had a friend today going through a horrible situation at this time in her life who had some many feelings and emotions going through her mind right now she felt guilty for feeling the way she did. I recently felt this way after loosing my mom. I prayed every day she was at my house on Hospice that she would die so that she could find peace, then I felt guilty that I wanted her to die, I also struggled with wanting her to stick around as long as I could for selfish reasons, to see, touch and hear her as I knew I wouldn't have this opportunity much longer. Talk about an emotional roller coaster... We are selfish and selfless all at the same time. But we are human and unlike God we are not perfect... no matter how we try to be. We often have high expectations and lofty goals of how we think we should handle a situation, of how others may expect us to handle a situation or a timetable for that situation or to get over a situation. None of us have instructions we received when we entered into this world, or even given to us as an adult. We just have to trust that we are being guided in the right direction, and ask for that guidance. God sometimes has a plan for our situation, how we handle and overcome a situation, what time frame this all fits into and what good things may come out of this situation we encounter even if we are not clear on what that is. It is not the feelings we have during our struggle, setback or experience, but how we act, react and grow from our situation. From time to time life brings us down, life tends to throw what we would consider unfair or tragic circumstances and situations at us. It is not how many of those we have, how long they last or how hard the experience associated with them is. It is are we able to overcome, to survive, to thrive and to benefit someone else from those experiences? Are we able to rise above our circumstance? God is not causing these things to happen to us or our loved ones, but he is allowing them to happen. This life is not where we are meant to live eternally, it is a pathway to the next where we will live in harmony, peace and forgiveness with HIM. Should we accept only good from God and not adversity. (Job 2:10) They won't be afraid of bad news; their hearts are steady because they trust the Lord. (Psalm 112:7) So next time you are feeling that your feelings are wrong... remember... the feelings you are feeling are neither right nor wrong, they are feelings, it is the actions you take because of those feelings that you can control.