I DON'T Care!

So sometimes we go through periods of our life where we adopt phrases and tend to use them over and over depending on certain circumstances or trends in our lives. Most recently the phrase that everyone picked up and sticks out most in my mind is the word... "Seriously." Thank you Grey's Anatomy. How often have I caught myself sarcastically stating this word over and over again based on my shock or irritation with something going on in my day. Talk about an overused phrase that I just can't get to go away. It has become a habitual household word. Even Paxton says it- almost annoyingly at times, but hey I probably sound pretty stupid saying it at times as well. Most recently my son has been adopting the phrase, "I don't care" ... oh how frustrating for me to here this. He also tends to use it appropriately but not constructively. I say if you don't do this, this will happen, he responds "I don't care". I tell him something isn't going to happen, he responds "I don't care." You get the idea. Whether it is homework, picking up dog poop, clothes choices, etc. My last straw was the other day in line at the grocery checkout when the lady was asking if we wanted to donate to some charitable organization ( I pride myself on giving back to others as often as I can, and I thought that my child recognized this as a recurring practice for our family) He speaks up and asks what we give the money for, I try explaining to him that some people are less fortunate and don't have everything we are blessed with (I swear I tell him this often) and he chimes in "I don't care" right in front of the clerk and the patron behind us. I just wanted to explode, I was in a public place and so embarrassed that my 6 year old would say such a thing! Wow was I ever mad but more embarrassed that me of all people who is a giver would just be looked upon as a mom who apparently hasn't instilled in her kid the idea of sharing and giving to others! (which I have multiple times, over and over on a daily basis; but these complete strangers do not know this about me!) I wanted to crawl into a hole and just disappear. I have taught my child from very young to share, to give to others, to be kind, compassionate and helpful and in return in the middle of the grocery store checkout I get the most selfish, non caring attitude from my child, who I thought I taught a little better than that! Talk about a complete failure I felt like, I just couldn't imagine where this attitude came from. Where is my message going in one ear and out the other? Is my example being overlooked? What about all the Heroes I sponsor with my Heroes Home Advantage program, my giveaways (that he has accompanied me to), Charitable donations, clothes donations, Angel tree at Christmas time, Toys for Tots, Book giveaways...my time volunteering for things to name a few! I have explained the purpose and very clearly thought I was relaying the message to always give... 'seek joy in what you give, not what you get'... ( I even have a placard incorporated into my kitchen decor that says this!) When we got to the car irritated as I was, After I bit my tongue and took a few deep breaths (with steam coming out of my ears!) I still calmly told him that he embarrassed me in the grocery store by acting so rude regarding people who are less fortunate and those are the people you should care most about. As Christians we are suppose to help others. "Whenever we have the opportunity, we should do good to everyone" - Galatians 6:10. This about drove me bonkers... all day and night thinking what in the world did I do wrong in my teaching... until it dawned on me... did he really know what he said? As I reflected and ran the scenario over and over in my head I just couldn't put my finger on it until the next day... Paxton was getting dressed and he wanted to wear the shirt he slept in, I said "you can't wear the same shirt two days in a row it isn't clean, pick a new shirt." He begins to throw a fit that this is the shirt he wants to wear and immediately my reaction to him is... I bet you can't guess......... "Paxton, I don't care." Wow! That was a wake up call for me. Right then and there I was at fault. I reflected how many times have I said that phrase to my child? No wonder he has picked it up and uses it- not always in the right situations, but kids want nothing more than to be like their parents. How can you not use a phrase that a parent uses over and over again. It has become like a ritual. Sometimes the things we say become habit, sometimes the habit is not always the best for little ears who are listening for your example. I am not using bad words, I am not cussing at my child- how in the world did I think a small innocent phrase such as "I don't care" could become such a horrible example to my child. This innocent phrase that I used to emphasize that my son do something he is told and that I as a parent don't care if he has a better idea, because frankly, I am the parent and what I say should be rule! My little 'want to be like mom' ears, at the age of 6 doesn't know how, when or why to use certain phrases and that is what he is relying on me to teach him. Will I mess up again, of course... remember in all my writings I tell you, there is no rule book. There is other parent's good examples, there is God's guidance and there is acts of love from my heart that will allow me to be the best parent I can be. But it is not without trial and error sometimes. Lesson learned is I need to slow down and think before I speak, ask God every morning to help me guide my little one on a path of kindness, courtesy, compassion and respect for others. To myself speak kind words, think kind thoughts and do kind things for others as my example will prevail. Is there a phrase, statement, word or habit that you have that may be reflecting on your children or even your spouse? I pray today that God will help you scale back or remove this from your daily routine and allow you to focus on the good things that will benefit raising your child to be a kind, good, caring respectable adult. Be aware of what you say, be true to who you are, but be an positive good example to those around you.