Monday, April 9, 2018

A humble kind of confidence

I am a pretty humble person… I enjoy serving others without a lot of hype about me. Over the years with all of my accomplishments academically, my writing career, published book, real estate awards and community service contributions… I have had to get use to some public praise. Now aside from my mom’s cheerleader like attitude and her constant praise of me over the years, the public displays of praise make me very nervous inside! Honestly it may not show on the outside but when all of these public displays of accomplishment, awards and cheering occur, my insides turn upside down. I am super embarrassed, I can’t often grasp that people put much emphasis on the things that I have done or do. I am serving God and others and I am happy to do it, I am dedicated to doing my best at everything I do and I am not sure that I feel that is something to be majorly rewarded for. Do I like the occasional pat on the back? Yes, yes I do, however I do feel most of the things that I have been awarded are unnecessary as I do what I do without expecting anything in return.  In fact after winning 40 under 40 from the Young Professional Networks (this is a real estate sales and community service award) 4 years in a row, this year I was nominated and didn’t even apply… and yes, I am still under 40… 1 more year in my 30’s and looking forward to what 40 will bring. I know what I have accomplished to receive this award so many times and I didn’t feel my sales volume or my community contributions this past year far excelled any other year that I have won and I wanted to sit back and open the opportunity for someone up and coming to showcase their accomplishments… helping others succeed is important to me. I love to share my secrets, what worked and didn’t work for me over the years and help others discover what they are good at and give an example of what they can and can’t accomplish if they just apply what they learn in a way that works for them. All of us are unique and have something to contribute to others.
Sometimes we lack the confidence that we need in order to be successful at what we do because we are trying to remain humble.. Sometimes we confuse confidence with arrogance and ego.. This does not have to be the case. There is a happy medium where you can be confident in your choices, proud of what you do and still serve others without the flash and sparkle of constantly being in the spotlight, but try to understand that when the spotlight does occur you can be thankful that what you are humbly doing to serve others is making a difference otherwise you probably wouldn’t be in that spotlight! The easiest way to accomplish this is to first remember why you are doing what you do… put the reason first- my reason is to help others and serve the goodness of God in everything I do. If sometimes our lives don’t seem as “good” as someone else we know, we are then comparing what talents and tasks God has given us to that of another person and we can fall victim to our negative thoughts of not being “good” enough… what is enough? Enough is not a number or a material possession but it is a way of thinking and feeling. We might think, if we are doing “better” than someone else sometimes we are too arrogant or prideful which can cause us to not perform at the best of our ability in order to not seem like we are showing off and this can also put us in a slump. If someone else’s life seems harder than ours are we entitled to feel pain, suffering or disappointments or will we look like whiners? This is when we need to turn our attention to God’s plan for our life… not our friends; our neighbor’s a celebrity, or that lucky person who just won the lottery! None of that should be measured against any other person going through something completely different than we are! No matter how our mind thinks we should be as good as, as lucky as or as rich as so and so… we do ourselves a disservice by comparing Remember it is in our nature to be caring.. to ask, how is she doing? How is he doing?This is what makes us good daughters, mothers, wives and friends. However it is not ok to ask how is SHE/HE doing compared to us.. we can get tripped up if our question intent is to compare our life to someone else for measurement.
 We need to Focus on God and the plan for our life and accept our challenge as an invitation to a greater success for ourselves. Enough is not a number you obtain it is an attitude you cultivate. God does not call the qualified, he qualifies the called. What are you called to do? How are you tapping into your unique talents and abilities? Take some time to listen to your heart to find out, or if you know what it is you should be doing… do everything you can to use those talents for a great good.
Each of you must examine your own actions. Then you can be proud of your own accomplishments without comparing yourself to others. Assume your own responsibility. -Galatians 6:4-5


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