Today Paxton comes home from being away for 3 weeks. I am more than excited that he is coming home early. To say that I have missed him is an understatement. Did we need the break from one another. You betcha. But when it is time, it is time. He had fun, my family loved on him like he needed to be and I more than appreciate all that he was able to do and experience while he was there. To be honest I miss my family a lot. I have been shopping real estate there for awhile, just browsing. Is my heart pulling me there or are we trying to escape our trauma and circumstances that are guaranteed not to probably disappear with a move, but it is worth investigating all possibilities in my life and embrace any changes that are for the better.
A house came up this trip that I just had to find out more about. Paxton has been bugging me to move there for almost 2 years. He and my aunt went to check it out and I think we all fell in love. It had a 2.5 acre pond and 5 acres of woods to hunt, right up his alley. I am torn between moving and staying there is a lot at stake for both of us. My family is there, but my friends, career and community are here. Long story short a lot went into praying and thinking and pros and cons and weighing it all out, on both of our parts, and I am proud to say we made a family decision that we really like where we live, and we will continue to visit as often as we can!
I have been wanting to get a tattoo that is just for me. I currently have 5 all centered around deceased people. Yes, that sounds morbid in a way, but it does give significant meaning to what they are and why I chose them. I came across an image a friend posted on social media with a saying that has always resonated with me. Most of you know I can go a million miles a minute, I have my hands in multiple projects at one time, my brain thinks ahead constantly, and I can talk fast and jump around topics often. I am sure I can annoy some people and have felt people sometimes not have patience for my demeanor, but mostly everyone I know loves me for who I am, flaws included. Those of you who put up with me, thanks! I know I am a lot sometimes. But I don’t sugar coat or hide who I am, who I am is what you get! Transparency is what I give. I will not apologize for who I am.
Many years ago, a friend Mitzi gave me an ornament that said “Breath, slow down, breathe, take it all in. Trust.” A picture of a girl with a bird on her shoulder. It has been hanging from the steering wheel in my vehicle since. My mom was all about teaching me to breath, relax, focus and trust my whole life whenever things got stressful, I was hurting, or I needed to deter my thoughts from something negative. I am trying to teach Paxton to do the same, so his fears and anxieties do not overcome him, and he can learn to cope to the best of his ability.
Breathing is important, and I am not just talking about what you do subconsciously. At times breathing needs to be intentional. I am grateful for every breath I take. I wake up every morning with a grateful heart, a chance to make a difference and a purpose. Some days are easier than others. When 2 months ago a Facebook friend posted that image that resonated with me I immediately thought it would make a perfect tattoo. It was a jpeg that said Just Breath with a dandelion blowing in the wind at the end. It has been stuck in my head ever since and after this past week I decided to make it reality.
I am normally an instant gratification person when it comes to something I want, but sometimes things are worth the wait and timing is everything. Trust the timing of your life. And this was the right timing for me. After a little alteration from the tattoo artist (the same one that did my last 2 tats) who made it fit what I wanted to portray and where I wanted it to be. A reminder that when things happen unexpectedly, don’t necessarily go as planned, or start to get overwhelming I need to Just Breathe like my mama taught me.
Did you know that dandelions those little yellow flowers that seem to pop up just about everywhere in fields, on the side of the road, and in the middle of your yard all summer long, you know the ones as kids as they went to seed we plucked and blew them off into the wind, making a wish as we blew, they actually have a medicinal purpose and symbolize hope, personal growth and transformation while often used in Native American and European peoples for a plethora of health benefits, cleansing, and healing purposes.
So as I am still on this journey embracing my new beginning it is only fitting that I would chose something reminding me of my carefree childhood, hope and wishes for my future self, but that also represents the ability I have to be resilient, push through my challenges and obstacles, blow away the remnants of my struggles and disappointments and let them roll off my shoulder and move forward.
When things get overwhelming remember to just breathe!
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