Embrace Your Season

 

We all have seasons in our lives, for people and things. Whatever the reason they are not meant to stayforever, and that is okay. It is no indication of failure. Things are constantly changing, and we need to change with them, or change the way we look at them. And if you fail, just remember, you are one step ahead- you tried… a lot of people never even try. Sometimes change and failure can be healing as well, depending on how you view them. 

I went through a season where I desperately needed things to occupy my mind of that empty space, break-up my loneliness, and soothe my heartache. Sometimes we choose to fill those gaps with lots of different things. We are not created equal and therefore what you choose to do could be completely different from the next person.  It helps me to think less about certain things, worry less, and find some contentment in the chaos in my head by creating things to do to keep me busy. Second to my writing, staying busy is also a therapy of sorts for me.

My recent season consisted of trying to find just about anything that would mask the pain I was going through after Steve died, the reality of being a true single mom, the weight of doing life right and feeling good about my choices, and the lurking of mine and Paxton’s unknown future. So, I choose to live in the moment as often as I can, even now. None of us are promised tomorrow.  I hung out with friends, took country swing dance lessons, practiced as often as I could when I went out with friends, traveled more, bought a building to rent as a business, rode my horse as much as I could, acquired 2 puppies within a month of each other and in February 2023 I bought a mobile bar! A vintage horse trailer from a friend who was transitioning from one season to another in her life as well.  Buying an existing business, trying to take it to the next level having a website made, gorgeous brochures, marketing campaigns, featured drink videos and posts, signature drink parties and lots of events from graduation parties, small birthday parties to large weddings. Go big or go home they say, right? Lol, What a fun hobby/side job to have, until it wasn’t what I wanted/needed any longer.

It was a lot of fun while it lasted, but I am ready to sell it and let someone else enjoy the hustle and rewards.  As many of you saw last week, I bought a real estate franchise in March, got my broker’s license and opened my own company. Even after 23 years in the business this is all very new and exciting to me, a lot of work and time will be going into making it successful and something I have learned in the last few years, I cannot do everything, no matter how often I thought I could years ago. Saying no and letting go have become a lot easier for me. My sanity, happiness and health are the most important. I will never be the same person I was 3 years ago when Steve got sick, it changed our lives significantly and I am totally at peace with being who I am now.

I know sometimes the first thing a person thinks of when something doesn’t work out is that they failed at it. I am telling you that is all about perspective and that does not always equate to failure when life circumstances change, you give up something, quit or move forward. It is okay to feel the way you do, but you also must make decisions based on going forward, not what you were able to do in the past, what others expect of you, or how they will view your decisions.  Don’t even allow naysayers to occupy the space in your head, pray for them and move on.

 The last few months have been exhausting, stressful, busy but clarifying and rewarding.  I knew what I wanted, and I went after it, obstacles and all. I bought a franchise, went back to broker’s school,  as I first tried the May prior to Steve getting sick and never finished, I had to start all over, I took my school test 5 times, yes, 5 times, I am not proud of that as I have always been pretty smart and had a great memory- but in all the attempts I went from 68 on my first try to 87 on my successful attempt (75 was passing)  but I was prepared enough to take the state test only one time to get my broker’s license ( that was the only 1 that really counts). I felt like a failure but also hadn’t been in school for 23 years. Grace, I extended the grace I needed to give myself, that is why I am okay with sharing with you, my failures. We can all learn from them and be vulnerable enough to share that I have them, others want to relate and know I am human too! Life is not a piece of cake (If you know me well you know I am not a fan of cake, but you get my analogy.)   Sometimes we need to fail to recognize how badly we really want to reach our goals. A setback not a throw in the towel approach to the result I call it. I also had a surgery in the mix of the last few months that I didn’t quite recover quickly from and had some complications, but I made it past all of it! Better, stronger, more resilient and ready to reap the rewards from my hard work and dedication to getting what and where I want to be.  I am in a different place now than I was in July 2021, or February 2023 for that matter. The mobile bar service was fun, it occupied some of my time and I tried something new, it worked for the time I needed it to.  So many things have happened since then that I couldn’t begin to feel like I failed at anything. I am looking forward to going forward. The people who occupy my time have also changed and  nights and weekends will be free to fill as I wish and, on my schedule, not at the mercy of a party, event or a wedding, even though I enjoyed every event I did! So, here are to new beginnings in my career and my life.

 

Things to remember:

Don’t be afraid to try new things.

If you have a goal or a dream it will never transpire without actions.

Believe in yourself and have the faith to see it through.

Don’t mask or dilute the true you to gain approval of someone else.

 Be okay to take on something for a short while and pass it on when the timing is no longer right for you. Nothing is meant to last forever.

Whenever you fail, fail forward and let it go.

Remember at least you tried.

Not everyone's idea of success is the same, live yours not someone else's. 

The secret to having it all is believing you already do.

The best way to predict your future is to create it. (Abraham Lincoln)

Tomorrow isn’t promised, enjoy today.

It is okay to plan for tomorrow but don’t worry so much about it, you will miss the time you were given to enjoy today.  

Worrying will not add another day to your life.