Thanks "Papa Tom"

I am going to be really vulnerable here for a second. I apologize to anyone who I said I would show up for but I didn't at the last minute for your family members funeral. The last four or five funerals that I wanted to attend (honestly, not sure anyone wants to attend a funeral, but you know what I mean), so the last few that I planned on attending, I would wake up that morning with such high anxiety that I just couldn't do it. I have always prided myself on being that one who is there for everyone, supportive, caring and kind... I can harbor my feelings or bury my sadness and make it through a couple hours, or so I thought! I think after Steve died I had a phobia of funerals if that is even such a thing! But I think there is probably a phobia of anything someone is scared of or something feared. Don't get me wrong, I have been to a few that I absolutely had to go to, mother-in-law, uncle etc, and I am pretty sure I was numb at the time but the ones that I would normally attend family of friends to support a child, sibling or otherwise, I haven't been able to follow through. 

Yesterday I woke up and decided I needed to stop that, be a big girl, face my fears and be there for my friends! Because ultimately, it isn't about me, but I needed to calm the voices in my head and rearrange my motivation a little. Did my stomach hurt? Absolutely! Once I was there, I was actually fine, mission accomplished! 

I attended a funeral for a dear sweet man that I have known for 25 years. He made it all the way to a few weeks shy of 96 years old! I love this! So inspiring. That is such an accomplishment. And as sad as it was to go and see his family grieve, though the tears welled up in my eyes, I couldn't help but have a smile on my face as they recalled all the good times, the beautiful memories, the lessons learned, the quirky ways that he had and the things that he experienced and lived through, not to mention the legacy he has left behind including great-great-grandchildren. They may not remember him physically but I am certain they will be influenced by his memories. Wow, what an accomplishment, what a wonderful testimony to life, love and God's wonderful plan for him. He was stubborn but kind, ornery but would give anything to help others. His time was well spent, his family benefited for all the extra time some people don't have with their loved ones and his story isn't over, it is just beginning in those who were touched by him in some way to carry out that legacy and continue to sprinkle their learned pieces of him in the interactions they have, the family they create and the happiness they spread for years to come. 

I know when I can turn a fear into a silver-lining, and celebrate someone for all that they were even though they were lost physically, their imprint leaves such a lasting impression on the lives he impacted, and through them, on the lives they will impact in turn. 

Rest in peace Tom and enjoy your beloved Betty I am certain she greeted you with open arms and is so proud of you for waiting so long to join her because your impact was not quite yet accomplished here on Earth. 

For those that go before us, I do hope that they will show us around when we get there. What a great thing to look forward to.

I heard you got a brand new place
Feels like at least a million miles away
I hope I get to meet you there someday
And we'll pick back up like no time passed
Yeah, I pray it happens like that

I bet you're up there right now makin' plans and writin' out
All your favorite places that you just can't wait to take us
And we'll get to spend forever talkin' 'bout whatever
When I get there, promise you'll track me down
And show me around

I heard that there's no growing old
And now you only walk down streets of gold
I've only read about what you've seen, what you know
And I'm still here missin' you
Oh, I wonder what you're gettin' into

I bet you're up there right now makin' plans and writin' out
All your favorite places that you just can't wait to take us
And we'll get to spend forever talkin' 'bout whatever
When I get there, promise you'll track me down
And show me around

I hate how much that losin' you hurts (how much that losin' you hurts)
I hope you know you left your mark on this world
And I swear that I'd give anything on this Earth
To see your face
But for now, I'll wait

I bet you're up there right now makin' plans and writin' out
All your favorite places that you just can't wait to take us
And we'll get to spend forever talkin' 'bout whatever
When I get there, promise you'll track me down
And show me around
And show me around

I heard you got a brand new place

Source: LyricFind

Songwriters: Benjamin West / Carly Pearce / Emily Shackelton

Show Me Around lyrics © BMG Rights Management, Warner Chappell Music,