Mom Patience

If you are anything like me mom patience is something I lack.... probably at least half if not most of the time... why can I be patient with my clients, adults, friends, crazy drivers, people who put me on hold forever on the phone, all those people who I don't even have a personal relationship with... but when it comes to my child... all that patience goes out the window? Why? I have asked myself this question over and over and over again. Do I save it for every situation and person that would think I was a "nut job" if I went off on them for no apparent reason.. sometimes yes... Is it because he is my kid and I expect more from him? Do I think he should know my every move and be in sync with it? Should I expect a 7 year old to never whine, complain or want things he cannot have? Am I truly focusing on what he needs/wants from me or am I constantly thinking about the next thing I need to do.. Probably. Should I focus on the task at hand! Absolutely... as mom's are we constantly multitasking... the fear in the back of our mind that we will NOT get it all done, someone will be disappointed in us, we may have to say no to something, we may in the midst of doing so many things, actually mess something up! My kid is super mature for his age, however, I need to be at peace with the fact that he is a kid. Everyday is a constant struggle for me to be patient, kind and loving when he does something that I don't want him to, that I don't expect him to or that is seriously just a kid thing! He isn't 30 Dani, he is 7 I tell myself. Some might say controlling... some might say just a MOM thing! Do I stick him in that I have patience for everyone else so I need to unload on him box? My mom and I had that relationship... we were able to vent, scream, yell, get mad at each other sometimes call each other names and had the capability to bounce back be happy and loving in 0.6 seconds if we had to. It was just our nature! We had that understanding, ever since my dad passed away when I was 14 it was just my mom and I for years and years. We coped, we understood, we loved unconditionally NO MATTER WHAT. For me to put that same expectation on my husband or son...probably not the best decision... but truly I miss that ability to do so... I miss my mom everyday! To lose my patience and have an understanding that I just needed to vent, blow-up, scream or cry to get my anger and frustrations out from all of the people and situations where I HAD to be patient and really didn't want to, bottle up my feelings and sometimes they just unload, unexpectedly, the days where everyone is pulling me in 27 different directions, clients calling, texting, and needing answers immediately all at the same time, on top of my already busy day combined with the needs of my family and the expectations of the programs/organizations that I volunteer for. Some may say I do too much, I give to much, but I really thrive when I am busy and the small amount of times it gets to me... outweigh the impact and the satisfaction I get from making a difference... It is my nature to nurture. I pray every morning that God gives me the patience, kindness and understanding that a good mom/wife should have... does it always make my day smoother and my patience stronger... not always... but everyday is a new day and a chance to learn from my mistakes, pray for patience for the people who deserve it the most- my family and go about my day. Be humble and gentle in every way, be patient with each other and lovingly accept each other. -Ephesians 4:2