Sunday, June 19, 2022

Finding True Calm in the Chaos

 


I haven’t written for a couple weeks. We are back in Arizona, and I promise you when we got to the Chicago airport last night, I checked my bags before going through security, LOL- (just a little FYI for those of you who read my last blog.) 

Paxton and I enjoyed our non-rushed time in Indiana, free of expectations and deadlines, household demands and time commitments. To be completely honest it was exactly what we needed and at the time we needed it, March when we originally planned to go, I now know was not, and am grateful my gut feeling stopped us from going then. There is something about taking the time to relax, rejuvenate and refresh completely without caring about the consequences of what you are missing out on from your busy schedule. I haven’t had the luxury of really letting go since I have been in real estate (this is my 21st year) due to the nature of the business. I wrote an offer on a beach in Hawaii a few years back for goodness sake. This trip I will say has been the closest I have ever gotten to letting go without the worry, frustration, and guilt.

For those of you I didn’t contact, didn’t see multiple times, or didn’t even let know I would be in town, I appreciate no hard feelings. I saw a very limited number of people. I needed to disconnect, to not have a schedule, to process my mental health, my feelings and reconnect with who I was through nature and just being there. I enjoyed fishing, watching Paxton in his element, playing in the woods, lots of lake time and sun, exercising every day, reading books, watching birds, listening to the frogs and birds and nature sounds all around me, seeing the deer and wild turkeys, squirrels, chipmunks, muskrats and beavers do their thing, listening to and playing in the rain (maybe not so much the tornado or the power/water outage we had for 21 hours) but the also the company that I did see.

I don’t think I am very photogenic; I am super critical of myself most of the time.  I can take 30 selfies, like none of them then delete them all. These girls who know all the right angles… yep, I just may be a little jealous of you. My photographer friend said to me once that you are truly smiling when your eyes are smiling, this I believe is something from the inside out.  I happened to capture a photo on my cousin’s boat on the lake where I grew up that I felt looked decent enough to post, since I did have fun and was relaxed, and because I only had to take one, I posted it.  I received so many compliments and even phone calls about this photo. Wow, I had no idea. I was kind of embarrassed for posting it. I am humble and too much attention doesn’t sit right with me most of the time. But I loved the fact that others recognized it… I wasn’t fishing for the beautiful or gorgeous comments… what these people recognized was far beyond that. This picture signified to me that when you are your true self, you don’t care what others are thinking about you, you totally let go and you are relaxed and calm, even if your hair is a mess from the wind, your smile and true character shine through and that is what shows, not necessarily your outward appearance, but a reflection of what you feel inside. It has been a long time since I can say I truly felt that way. You can create your own happiness, but sometimes your circumstances make it seem near impossible to do so and it reflects in your outward expressions and attitude and ability to create that happiness, the kind that isn't forced but true. 

My aunt’s property that I have been able to enjoy for the past 30 of my 43 years since they purchased it is lots of acres out in the middle of nowhere, it is truly a place you can go and unwind, disconnect (for the most part) and be yourself. Her neighbor friend made me a shirt; it is the state of Indiana with a heart for where her house is and says Home Y'all. I am in love with this shirt. It isn’t where I am from exactly, I grew up about 2.5 hours away, but I don’t believe home is necessarily where you are from, but where you feel like yourself the most, where no matter what, you can feel happy, and want to continue to come back there.

I have had several people since Steve passed ask if I would consider moving back “home” to Indiana, where most my family is.  My answer is still no… I would never say never, but I have no intention of it. My life is in Arizona and has been for the last 25 years. I am established here. This got me thinking, what is home? Of course, I looked up the definition, would you expect any less?

1. n. the place where one lives permanently, especially as a member of a family or household.

I also came across these two:

2.  n. any person or place that fills your heart with joy, warmth safety and security, a place where you are loved and welcome.

3. n. a place that feels like a tight hug: Where time stands still for just a moment, where the noise of the outside world is blocked out and where you can breathe it all out after being tense all day. From the moment you enter the door, you are safe, you are warm, and you are exceptionally loved.  

Number 3 is my favorite. Not only did I experience this while I was gone, but I was ready to at this point in my process of moving forward.  I know I can have this feeling at home now too. I know your circumstances have a lot to do with it, but I also feel it is something you can create. Who you choose to spend your time with and what makes you happy are in your control. Not everyone is the same, that is what makes us unique. Stop competing with everyone else’s idea of happy. We all have a next level of relaxation we can go to in any situation. Practice this and choose wisely. Let go of what is beyond your control, stop rushing, smell the flowers, enjoy the walk, be silly, try new things, don’t try to fix, plan, or prepare for every circumstance in your life, you are bound to get disappointed. (Take this from my experience with overthinkers anonymous. LOL) You can take what you have and make what you want. I know I can make my home or any “home” truly home, just by stopping to create my happy, breathe and let go of all the noise of the world with those that I truly love, whether family or friends.

To find your calm and accept and create happiness you may just need to be ready for it, timing is everything.

  

 

It's all about finding the calm in the chaos. – Donna Karan

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