Dabbling, Letting Go and the Power of Now

 

There have been a lot of changes recently in our lives. Some include Paxton’s best friend Aidan going to live in Show Low with his mom again after being a staple in our lives for the past 4-5 years. My bestie’s daughter Payton who has been living with us since August to go to college and has decided to rent a house with some of her friends starting in March, a few new relationships I have come across while dabbling into some dating, have been a good lesson of reinforcement that not everybody you meet, or share something in common with is meant to stay. Some are meant to reach, and some teach while opening your eyes to what you want or don’t want.

 

All my life I have been geared towards relationship building. Building lifelong relationships, networking, and building that pipeline of people who trust and support you. Especially in my line of work.  I have more in my adult years recently discovered that not all encounters with people that come into my life are meant for long-term. This can be explained in a lot of different situations. Some people are meant to come into your life for a period, and then go away, some people are meant to have a stronger role at a certain point in your life, and yet they still remain in your circle of friends, but not necessarily in the same capacity as they were meant to for the period when you needed what they had to offer most, and some people will be in your life and stay forever and remain a constant.

 

This has been easily recognizable in my life for the last year. They were people in my life who stepped up to the plate and played a more existent role for a period when I needed exactly what they had to give at the time, they might still be here but not as profoundly. Sometimes this can be relationships among friends, relatives, acquaintances, or someone who was supposed to teach you a specific lesson. But not all relationships are meant to be long-term or lasting and recognizing that that is OK is the key to fully getting what you need and giving what they need out of the relationship. And sometimes maybe you were meant to be in their life more than they were in yours. Nonetheless you can gain something out of every one of them.

 

A high school friend of mine posted something on his page yesterday that reminded me of this book I read years ago from an excerpt he took from it, “Time isn’t precious at all, because it is an illusion. What you perceive as precious is not time but the one point that is out of time: the Now. That is precious indeed. The more you are focused on time- past and future- the more you miss the Now, the most precious thing there is.” –  Eckhart Tolle. He talked about how he was changing from what he was doing with his life and going to pick up a pen and start writing a new chapter.  Somethings are not meant to last; they are for you while you need them.

 

I think we are all capable of rewriting our story or starting a new one. I have a friend who is widowed and her and her finance (also widowed) both call this portion of their life, life part 2. Whether you are divorced, widowed, single, or still married you too can experience a life part two! Maybe it is a new relationship, a career change, a big move… We are not the same people as we were at 13, 25, 32, 43 or whatever age you are now.  Sometimes what we are doing no longer suits us. As we grow we change, the people around us grow and change too and we need to mold ourselves into the us that we are NOW! Enjoy the journey of writing that story as it is a continuing saga that needs our focus and attention.  

 

We need to focus more on the now – my friend’s post made me realize I might need to re-read that book here, shortly. I am really thinking that I am going to appreciate, audible, much more than I used to; don’t get me wrong, I love the feel of the pages of a book and sitting being able to read it with my eyes, but it’s crazy as my life is sometimes as much time as I spend in the car , even though I love to listen to music, books and podcasts are knowledge and education will always be a part of my journey. There is always something that you can take away, no matter what it is you consume. So why not consume as much as you can to improve on who you were yesterday on your journey.

 

Like I said, relationship building is good and I am good at it for the most part, but not everyone that comes into your life is meant to be a permanent fixture but maybe set us up for someone who will be. And recognizing that is a step in the right direction going forward.

If there's empty spaces in your heart, 

They'll make you think it's wrong, 

Like having empty spaces, 

Means you never can be strong, 

But I've learned that all these spaces,

Means there's room enough to grow,

And the people that once filled them, 

Were always meant to be let go,

And all these empty spaces,

Create a strange sort of pull,

That attract so many people,

You wouldn't meet if they were full,

So if you're made of empty spaces,

Don't ever think it is wrong,

Because maybe they're just empty,

Until the right person comes along. 

- Ernest Hemingway