This week I experienced something that I can't even describe. When you have so many things going on at one time, so many people and pets pulling you in different directions at the very same time, you get overwhelmed and just want to either stop the world and get off for awhile or lock yourself up somewhere to get some mental help. LOL!
In my life I have so many people that depend on me. I know that it is something I created since I am always so readily available to help others, however, sometimes it is just too much. I never want to let someone down, so I continue to wait on those people, answer the calls, texts and emails quickly and try to give not only good service to all the clients relying on me to sell their home, find them a rental home or help them buy a home, I also have a family who relies on me pets who are special needs and household chores that get me more stressed if I let them go too long.
On Tuesday I had to call upon the help of a great friend to talk me down off of my coaster and give me some insight into the almost anxiety-like mental breakdown I was experiencing before doing or saying something harsh that I would regret to those I loved. It was a feeling that came over me that I didn't feel I had any control over stopping. Every time my kid whined, every time one of the dogs started barking, every time my phone rang, or a text came in I felt like I wanted to scream out profanities and just throw something so hard it would break!
She told me due to being such a helpful person and having so many people depend on me that I don't want to make a mistake or disappoint that it is natural to feel the way that I was and to have a "moment." I told her how my whiny impatient kid was not listening at all and I screamed at him several times and felt like such a horrible mom. She advised me to the tender nature of kids being the most forgiving beings out there. It isn't like when you blow up at your spouse or a friend and they may hold a grudge for a week. You can love on care for and coax your child and they will be once again back to loving you unconditionally. Is this something that is right, probably not. No person deserves to be yelled at in my frustration. I hope not to make a practice of it. But in talking to her I know that I am only human and sometimes I need to forgive myself when I can't get to every thing that I think I need to or that I believe someone is expecting me to take care of.
On a normal basis I can handle my dependents and my tasks, however, sometimes when they hit all at once, I need to remain calm, focus on the most important thing at the very moment and realize that somehow everything works out.
The next day I had promised a 4th grade teacher that I would sub for her class so that she could use up her vacation day before the end of the school year. I knew I would have limited access to my family and clients since I would be in class and could not answer the phone as readily as normal. I rely on text and email from my phone to communicate, so when I was startled unexpectedly when I was walking down the quiet hall back to the classroom while the kids were in music class and my phone went flying from my hand crashing to the tile and the LCD screen went grey, green and red with vertical and horizontal stripes and lines I was in store for a day of pretty much no communication. I could have flipped out, gotten upset with myself for not being more careful, for being careless or irresponsible for allowing this to happen, especially given the nature of my demeanor the day before, but somehow I didn't. I looked at this as an opportunity to focus on my task at hand that day, help the people in front of me. Do what I could to get those who relied on me help and decided that nothing that anyone could call, email or text me about was a life or death situation. It just isn't. Deadlines, paperwork and showings before a home is gone, sure... life or death- Not really. I decided right then and there that this circumstance happened and all I could do was explain later and hope for the best once I could re connect with people. I need to limit my response time to what I can handle and get back to the others in a professional and timely manner but to stop jumping every second that someone "calls." It just isn't healthy for me or for those around me if jumping to help and being prompt is affecting my attitude or demeanor in a way that I am distracted from the attention they deserve.
It is better to have self control than to conquer a city Proverbs 16:32 NLT
Saturday, May 18, 2013
Conquer the City
This week I experienced something that I can't even describe. When you have so many things going on at one time, so many people and pets pulling you in different directions at the very same time, you get overwhelmed and just want to either stop the world and get off for awhile or lock yourself up somewhere to get some mental help. LOL!
In my life I have so many people that depend on me. I know that it is something I created since I am always so readily available to help others, however, sometimes it is just too much. I never want to let someone down, so I continue to wait on those people, answer the calls, texts and emails quickly and try to give not only good service to all the clients relying on me to sell their home, find them a rental home or help them buy a home, I also have a family who relies on me pets who are special needs and household chores that get me more stressed if I let them go too long.
On Tuesday I had to call upon the help of a great friend to talk me down off of my coaster and give me some insight into the almost anxiety-like mental breakdown I was experiencing before doing or saying something harsh that I would regret to those I loved. It was a feeling that came over me that I didn't feel I had any control over stopping. Every time my kid whined, every time one of the dogs started barking, every time my phone rang, or a text came in I felt like I wanted to scream out profanities and just throw something so hard it would break!
She told me due to being such a helpful person and having so many people depend on me that I don't want to make a mistake or disappoint that it is natural to feel the way that I was and to have a "moment." I told her how my whiny impatient kid was not listening at all and I screamed at him several times and felt like such a horrible mom. She advised me to the tender nature of kids being the most forgiving beings out there. It isn't like when you blow up at your spouse or a friend and they may hold a grudge for a week. You can love on care for and coax your child and they will be once again back to loving you unconditionally. Is this something that is right, probably not. No person deserves to be yelled at in my frustration. I hope not to make a practice of it. But in talking to her I know that I am only human and sometimes I need to forgive myself when I can't get to every thing that I think I need to or that I believe someone is expecting me to take care of.
On a normal basis I can handle my dependents and my tasks, however, sometimes when they hit all at once, I need to remain calm, focus on the most important thing at the very moment and realize that somehow everything works out.
The next day I had promised a 4th grade teacher that I would sub for her class so that she could use up her vacation day before the end of the school year. I knew I would have limited access to my family and clients since I would be in class and could not answer the phone as readily as normal. I rely on text and email from my phone to communicate, so when I was startled unexpectedly when I was walking down the quiet hall back to the classroom while the kids were in music class and my phone went flying from my hand crashing to the tile and the LCD screen went grey, green and red with vertical and horizontal stripes and lines I was in store for a day of pretty much no communication. I could have flipped out, gotten upset with myself for not being more careful, for being careless or irresponsible for allowing this to happen, especially given the nature of my demeanor the day before, but somehow I didn't. I looked at this as an opportunity to focus on my task at hand that day, help the people in front of me. Do what I could to get those who relied on me help and decided that nothing that anyone could call, email or text me about was a life or death situation. It just isn't. Deadlines, paperwork and showings before a home is gone, sure... life or death- Not really. I decided right then and there that this circumstance happened and all I could do was explain later and hope for the best once I could re connect with people. I need to limit my response time to what I can handle and get back to the others in a professional and timely manner but to stop jumping every second that someone "calls." It just isn't healthy for me or for those around me if jumping to help and being prompt is affecting my attitude or demeanor in a way that I am distracted from the attention they deserve.
It is better to have self control than to conquer a city Proverbs 16:32 NLT
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