Recognition

Are we often too busy to recognize the blessings around us? Do we get caught up in all the day to day things that we must do and accomplish that we forget who is around us, or we take for granted what that person may have to offer and that they will always be there? I have posted before in my daily affirmations the importance of enjoying the people I love as if it were the last time that I would see them, it just might be. But do I stick to this? Do I practice what I preach? I wish I could say I did 100% but then again I am human and I get caught up in my day, I argue, I fight and sometimes I am selfish, I expect certain things of myself and put on pressures that I think other people expect of me without really knowing if they do, but because I do, I assume they do too. Which can cause a whole string of issues that could have been avoided if I wasn't so hard on myself. I am not one that wants to disappoint. So to answer my own question, do I practice what I preach, 24/7, probably not, I get comfortable, I procrastinate, I say in the back of my mind- that person "so-and-so" knows how much I care. Do we recognize each other for what is done, or do we only focus on what is lacking? Often for people this AH-HA moment comes when it is too late. One or more of the people in the relationship feel that they have given every thing they have and don't have anymore to give, try or re-build. Sometimes this happens so gradually that when the moment of truth comes, it is just too late. I have had a series of conversations recently with people who are struggling with their particular relationships. They may be seeking acceptance or truth outside of their own inner circle. They may have put in effort over and over to get the results that they are looking for, but haven't found that acceptance, that missing link or that reassurance that they need to know they are loved, accepted and valued. When a person feels as if they lose value or acceptance, as human beings we can become depressed, shut down or even shut off to the point we start to no longer feel good about ourselves. In order to gain this confidence back or this acceptance we feel that we need, we try to get that acceptance from our mate in ways that may not be the best approach. But when we want and seek this approval and acceptance we may turn it in to nagging, bitching and complaining about what is not being done rather than build up what it is that attracted us to the person in the first place. What made us love them and why did we stop praising that. Studies show the more you call attention to someone's positive attributes the more positive results that you will experience. As a society we often focus on the negative or the things that someone is lacking. This can just enhance the negative that we experience and make the other person focus on what they are doing wrong, lose confidence in themselves and just continue to do the wrong things. Sometimes when focusing on the negative someone does, this often tells that person that they are this particular way and they may as well just continue being/acting this way since you already believe they are. For example, someone who is accident prone- the more other people tell them this, the more they believe this and start telling them self they are accident prone that they become more prone to accidents because they are searching for them (even unconsciously). Often when you tell yourself something over and over again, you become that way because you really believe you are. This is one reason why I have morning affirmations that I say to positively approach my day and to allow myself to believe that I only have good things to offer. That I am truly committed to making myself the best person that I can on a daily basis, therefore when I do have that lack of self confidence, or I feel that I am not deserving of something or that I am not a good person, it quickly goes away. A lot of times when we have a low self confidence or we don't have that belief in our self is when our relationships start to fail. No one person can give you the confidence and self talk that you yourself can give. We think that we can fill this void with someone else's acceptance or love, but other than God, no one can give this to us. We can seek it, we can get it temporarily but it will not last, because it is not pure. The more positive self talk that I can give myself, the better off I and those around me can be. This is equally important to give positive talk to those around us, thus allowing us to not be so hard or harsh with the other person when they do do something that we do not expect. We have so many positive thoughts or that person and praise for what they do, that the negative doesn't linger in our mind or on our hearts. In no way do I feel that if you are in a relationship that isn't changing or that isn't safe or healthy that you should stay. I am not here to judge anyone or their particular circumstances. Dear God, today I release others from the burden of fulfilling me in areas where I should be looking to You. Help me to accept those around me the way they are and not try to constantly change them. At the same time release this person to change in the way that I thought they never could. I leave any changing that needs to be done in Your hands, fully accepting that neither I nor that other person are perfect and we never will be. Only you are perfect Lord and I look to you to perfect us. May we be perfectly jointed together in the same mind and same judgment. (1 Corinthians 1:10)