I can stick to a diet or a work out plan for a little while and boom something else dangles that carrot in front of me... busy at work making money to provide for my family, baseball for Paxton, my chores at home... a change in schedule, an errand to run etc.
My hubby and I argued over how much time Paxton was online playing games with his friends yesterday, and because he was home more than he usually is during the work day yesterday, he saw that the only thing he seemed interested in was this! He did not see every other day this week, the bike rides we took, the chores we did, the homework we tried not to get frustrated over! One of us can have the opinion that he hasn't been to school, seen his friends or played baseball for a month give him some social interaction even if it is for most of the day, the other may see it as laziness. Is there a right or wrong answer I don't know. He finished all his school work, he has been getting outside, in the pool, helping with chores just yesterday why not just do whatever. I was working on other projects and frankly I didn't care what Paxton was doing. A friend of mine said since all of this some days her family all go into separate rooms and do their own thing. And guess what that is totally OK! Who is judging us anyway, and if they are I would like to see their perfect little set up... no one is perfect so I can't imagine it would look all that inviting.
Am I enabling or hindering him... who is to say. It is already hard to know how to parent, to always agree with your spouse and be on the same page and to juggle all the activities, chores, responsibilities and expectations at any age and to throw this Corona Virus complete with uncharted territory and unknown outcomes in the mix and boom, disaster waiting to happen being cooped up practically 24/7 with each other and all your different personalities. My outlet has been roller-blading and spending more time with my horses. Maybe his outlet is playing games with his friends. Steve's is definitely working on projects non-stop! Paxton has no siblings and so even though I was pretty dead set against gaming online previously, I am so glad that I allowed it. He has even been facing timing some of his buddies to keep in the loop. He needs that. Even if some days it is most of the day.
Do I think his lack of motivation for doing other things like baseball and more outdoor activities during the day is going to become the new norm, I really don't think so. Can any of us really judge our kids or each other for how we may be reacting or handling this current state of emergency situation? I believe NOT. When in our children's life after this whole pandemic is declared safe, will they ever have the chance to just be a kid? To not carry so many responsibilities, expectations and weight on their shoulders as they become adults with busy lives... Live in the present I say, with some structure if possible.
Now I am not recommending you let your kid play video games all day, eat whatever they want from the pantry or fridge and totally make all of their own decisions- I am not telling you to say heck with it and cave into their every little desire (don't worry after yesterday's outburst we did agree to make a schedule, with his input, for this coming week); I am just advising you to take it one day at a time, be willing to change it up, make alterations and adjustments and give your kids and spouse and anyone else who needs it that extra added amount of GRACE, that is needed for us to get through it! Do you even know how much GRACE God gives us on a hourly and daily basis! You probably couldn't even start to calculate it! So why can we as humans extend even a portion of that GRACE to the people we love. Some of us know what self-talk we are playing over and over in our own heads, is different or similar to our loved ones self-talk, we don't even have a clue what others are going through in their heads! None of us have a crystal ball and know when this will all be better. Take this time to enjoy each moment and each day and pray that you will be a better person because of it. Don't be quick to want to get everything back to normal! I think that is the point, our normal is so skewed from media and society and false expectations this experience is bound to change many people and alter the dynamics of just about everyone.
Write down your list of things you are grateful for each day, this will keep you in a positive frame of mind, remember to thank your family for contributing, maybe now that many people are eating together more and more, pray as a family at dinner (if you were not already doing so) go around the dinner table and have everyone just say 1 thing they were grateful for that day (there is always something to be grateful for) and watch your family grow, change and respect one another more and more through this time! This is bound to move into other relationships and situations in the "outside your home" world we will all live in the near future. Maybe the world will become a kinder, gentle and more appreciative place.
Will everyday be peachy... I highly doubt that, and that is OK, don't forget to give yourself GRACE, this ins't a Hallmark movie, but you will be better because of the patience you had, the grace you gave and the love you shared.
Grace is the atmosphere created by love that makes faith the only reasonable response. -Bill Johnson
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