Alright Mamas with multiple children, I have absolutely no clue what you are going through, at home with all the little's. Honestly, having one at home, who hasn't seen a single friend in a month, hasn't practice baseball with his team, played any tournaments, gone to school, bored out of his mind and slightly unmotivated to do too much is weighing heavily on questioning myself "am I parenting correctly right now?" "Am I being too lenient on bedtimes, and screen time and eating habits? "As I have said before I am not really a routine person to begin with. "Do I suck as a mom?"
We tried the list this week that allows him to plug all the things he needs to do into a day in a time line chart as long as he gets it all done.. Have I made him stick to that everyday... Ummm! Guilty... NOPE. I self talk if I am ruining him or teaching him bad habits, by going swimming at 2:00 yesterday when he should have been reading, or letting him play PlayStation for an hour longer than I had originally told him he could so I could just make dinner and not argue over dog poop that needed to be picked up! Is this teaching him to be able to get out of things in the future? Hell, I don't know, I am just doing what works at the moment for the situation we are in. Day, hour, moment at a time philosophy!
Remember those instruction manuals for this Covid-19 thingy are still on back order I guess!
No matter what you are doing right now, how you are handling this situation, the things you are letting your kids do you normally would not if they were in a normal setting going to school everyday in person, etc... this is only one chapter of your life, one season and one period! No matter whether you are stuck at home all day long not working, or you are an essential worker and still trying to juggle the kids, being the teacher, the mom, the spouse, the cafeteria worker, PE instructor, recess monitor, sibling fight ring arbitrator, sports coach, confidant, religious educator...etc , Don't over think it. Don 't judge yourself, do the best that you know how to do, as a mom, wife, friend, daughter....etc. Be available to listen to your kids, talk to them about how this is affecting them, how do they feel? We have absolutely no idea what is going on in their little heads, and if you have more than one kid, look out, just as they are all individuals they probably all have a different story playing in their head!
Give yourself the Grace that God has given you, to let Go and let God! I beg you no matter what, take a drive by yourself, lock yourself in the bathroom, closet, etc and take at LEAST 10 minutes a day to be still and focus on you! Tell everyone to go away for 30 mins and paint your nails, read a book, work-out, take a long shower- apply a face mask, journal, make a list of all the things you are grateful for, walk around the block by yourself, and ask God for patience, love and kindness toward your family, even if you are working all day and exhausted when you climb into bed at night! By your 10-30 mins a day focusing on just YOU, they may even be better for it! In order to take care of others, we have to properly take care of ourselves! I promise these little's will not be ruined! I had a good friend tell me once that your kids will always be the most forgiving of you while they are growing up, you are their ROCK... make sure that you take care of yourself to be able to fulfill that title. We may think it does but no amount of Wine, Alcohol, Food or other "outlet" can replace the amount of peace you can feel in your heart, when you can be still in the presence of God and rejuvenate, refocus and renew yourself.
I look at my parenting skills right now as giving Paxton the ability to pick when he does certain things during the day is empowering him to be a caretaker for himself, prepping him to make decisions on his own and giving him a little more leadership skills. Bending my own rules or changing things up from what was "scheduled" that morning, is teaching him to be flexible and perhaps not so routine that he has a hard time altering things or accepting that change happens! I don't know if I am doing this right, are any of us? But I have to have Faith that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and the lessons learned and the knowledge gained and the experience as a whole will be a notch on his timeline that will help shape him into the amazing adult that I know he will be one day in the future!
Everyday cannot be perfect but you will find something perfect in everyday!
Faith is the friend that comes along when things seem to go all wrong.
Be you, do you, and accept you.
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