Trials, Tribulations, Triumphs and Papa

Yesterday I turned 41. My day was really not what I expected. I had mixed emotions not only from this crazy pandemic the whole world is going through right now, but from loosing a cousin to Covid this past week at only 64 years of age, reminiscing about my grandfather who died on my 14th birthday, the one you know that was so involved in everything when I was a kid, who fished with my dad, worked on his boat in our barn, took my cousins and I camping in their little RV, made it a point to come to softball games, school performances and just plain supported my every move. He and I shared the love of writing, poetry among other things. 14 years wasn't really a huge part of my life, but it was a huge impact of who I am today. Losing my dad at 14 as well, my mom at 35 and the list goes on and on. I remember on my birthday that year, I was busy doing my math homework and we had just finished dinner, they were working on dessert, strawberry short cake- It wasn't my favorite and I don't remember why I picked that, but I clearly remember what we had, what I was doing and where I was sitting at the kitchen table when the phone rang. I said mom, that is about grandpa, you answer it, and it was. It was my aunt to tell her he took his last breath. He had been sick with non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma for years, but it just finally caught up to him. He was my buddy... Fast forward all these years later. All the things that have happened to me in my life have been a notch on my time line of life. All have made me who I am today. I pray that the things I have seen, the things that I have learned, the people I have come in contact with and the trials, tribulations and triumphs and molded me into the person that all of the people I have lost can be proud of! I want to serve others and make a difference.
For any of you out there there is no right or wrong reason to handle this situation we are going through, I have empathy for those who are sick, those who cannot work and those who are on the front lines during this scary time, putting themselves and their families at risk!
Now more than ever we need to band together to pray for one another... to be good role models for our kids who are home and fighting their own internal battles, who have been ripped from their everyday norm, their friends, their schooling, their sports, their recreational time, their teachers, their group hobbies the list goes on and on. Don't make them feel unwanted or like they are bothering you, embrace them, their annoying habits, their laughter, their joy, and their quirks! This means they are alive and healthy and here, they will go back to school eventually and you will miss them, I promise.
For those of us who can see the silver-lining... this is the time where we can bond with our family more, work on all those projects we always say we don't have time to do. This is the time to reflect on what is important and what is just busyness in our schedules. Don't look at this as a punishment but as an opportunity, this isn't just happening to you! Yes everyone will be affected in different ways, yes I can be scared for my future while still trying to remain positive, yes I can laugh, I can cry and believe me yesterday, even though I was showered with many posts, calls, texts, drop by gifts and showed how much I am loved, I still shed a few tears, more than one time. I am a woman and I can be emotional!
Life can be uncertain, overwhelming and hard! But it is what you make of it! None of us are perfect, none of us can have our "happy meter" on 24/7. But we also cannot dwell in the future which is unknown... you can spend your whole day laying on the couch, watching Netflix, afraid of what your future holds, or wallowing in how unfair it is of what you can't do... or you can focus on what you can do and make a difference. Connect with people you haven't spoken to in awhile. Truly listen to how they are doing, send that text, make that phone call, show your human connection even if it isn't face-to-face. Save a portion of your day to pray for other people who this is affecting.
Please do give yourself the grace to have that lazy Netflix watching, popcorn eating, glass of wine day. But don't make it your new routine. Organize your office, partake in that paint project, put your photos in those albums, work on that puzzle, create something, build something, work out and get in shape!  When this is all over, you will be thankful you didn't focus on the why me!
This experience will be what you make of it. New things will come, dynamics will change, what is important to you will be reflected in how you come out of our current situation. Be the light for someone who is in the dark! Develop new habits and don't automatically turn to "when things go back to normal" What is normal and was it really the best for you? Reflect on your dreams, goals and what your purpose is... everyone has one or you wouldn't still be here.
Be grateful for what you have no matter how little it is. The more you focus on the positive, even with the occasional pity party, the greater contributor to society you will be when you can get back out there and shine in person!
Has my 41 years here on Earth gone the way that I anticipated? Hoped? Expected? Hell no! But it is how I chose to deal with what I am handed that has allowed me to thrive, in any circumstance or condition. Surrounded by my family and friends, my support system and number 1 my belief in God who is there for me no matter what I am going through, who I can talk to whenever I want, pray for my needs and allowed his grace and mercy.
Do I always get what I want, no, but His ways are not are ways and our needs are not always what we think.
Go forth and be your greatest YOU!

To this day, although sometimes difficult, I try to weigh all the negative situations by finding the good they have to offer. This, I believe, is what has kept me going and will enable me to succeed well into the future. That and the pleasurable memories of a fun-loving grandfather who was my hero and friend.

Dani
Hustle Bustle
Hurry Scurry
Never Linger
Never Tarry
Get it Done
On the Run
Hurry Up
Don't Slow Up
Never Stop
Only to Give a Kiss
To Papa
-Carl Duney