Reaction verses Response

I have really thought long and hard all day about this just trying to figure out how to piece it all together.
I am really a reaction person, it isn't that I didn't know this about me, I just wasn't sure how to correct it. At work we are working on smart goals ones that have to improve of customer service skills, and of course can spill over into our life skills as well.
I am somewhat of a perfectionist, in my own way, I strive really hard to make others feel good about themselves and try hard to do everything I do the best way I know how. I put a lot of effort in every day and when someone disagrees with what I am doing, when I am questioned or told I am doing something wrong, something inside of me sinks and I am quick to defend my honor, to explain why I did what I did or said what I said, I know at work I am improving on this skill, I am listening more and letting what I am told sink in. I step back look for the opportunity, think about it and then respond rather than trying to fix the person's problem from the beginning. I want to actively listen and help the person, because helping others truly makes me happy. I look forward to the feedback that I receive from co-workers on the things I can do to improve my skills. There is really nothing that I am perfect at and there is always room to grow.
I wonder why it is so hard to do this at home? Why can't I take the time to really listen to what I am being told, or if I feel offended or hurt in some way, why is it that I chose to lash out or yell or defend myself by reacting to the first thing that crosses my mind that I "think" someone else is thinking about me, or because of a lack of confidence that I have in myself. Why do I feel I need to put words in someones mouth. What am I possibly gaining from this besides an even bigger heaping mess? Yet, I repeatedly do this to myself as well as the person from which the criticism is coming.
I need to take the skills that I am learning at work- rename my criticism as areas of opportunity and learn how to be a better me from the feedback. I currently let the feedback feel like a direct punch to me and my pride and ego. I need to learn to not be so harsh on myself. I need to not view my inadequacies as bad as I think they are. Someone else may not view it that way, but do I really stop and ask questions or give them a chance to explain? No, I react quickly.
I think that I am really really hard on myself and I make a bigger mess of the situation at times when I could have asked more questions and left the day or evening in peace. I am a quick forgiver, but not every one is. I feel that as humans we should be allowed to vent our frustrations with those we love even if we lash out and in 5 minutes hug and be forgiven. I just need to de-stress. Not every one is wired that way, and I need to respect that. Maybe I just need to grab a glass of wine and take some deep breaths first. I need to adapt to others and the way they operate. I need to step back try and talk about the issue. I need to stop making a bigger mess with those who I love the most and love me the most. I need to react less and respond more.
I never would have guessed that I could improve a situation by mostly strangers giving me their feedback on my areas of opportunity and the ones I love tend to bring out the worst in me when they criticize me.
Tonight I am grateful for the opportunity to grow, both at work and at home. For the deep breath I will take whenever I want to react to a situation. For pausing and allowing what is said to truly sink in and perhaps the reason behind it.
I am grateful for each day set before me to improve myself and improve my relationships. Ultimately I will become a better daughter, wife, parent, teacher, friend, employee and whatever hat I may be wearing.
I know that this journey is not easy for me being that I have been a defensive, reactive person most of my life, but I am willing to take the steps to improve.
One day at a time, one situation at a time, this will make all the difference. The baby steps are what matters most in the bigger picture.
Stole this Horescope off someone else's facebook page, pretty much sums up the above.
Don't waste your time worrying about something you can't undo. If a mistake was made there is no use focusing on it to the exclusion of those things you do have power over. You may not be able to change what has already occurred, but you can certainly take a different path now that could compensate for any losses. The key is to take a positive rather than a negative approach. A negative approach dwells on "what if" and the past. A positive approach deals with the here and now, and the influence you can have over the future.