Your child's "do it" Button!

How many of you work hard to get your child to do something you ask? How many of you fall back on good ole getting angry, frustrated and discipline your child for not doing the things that you want or expect? Reading the book 1-2-3 Magic by Thomas W Phelan, Ph.D. can equip you with great ideas, not only on how to get your child to stop doing something but also to start doing something. It will give you ideas that will work for you and your child. As many of you may know I am not really all that competitive. Try as I might it just usually in most areas of my life isn't that important to me, I am here to help others succeed as well. I like to be good at what I do but not necessarily competitive if someone else is better. Sure I tried sports in school and played tennis in high school, I excelled in academics and was on different teams, played flute in school and always worked hard to get 1st in recitals, graduated 3rd in my high school class and Magnum Cum Lade from college, all of those things I consider more competitive with myself than others. However, I have come to find that when raising my son, competition is one of the things that gets him to do the things I want/desire him to do. It mostly works for picking things up around the house, getting stuff accomplished and now I have found doing PRE-K homework. If I can make it a game of who beats who and not letting someone else (mostly me) beat him to picking up, putting the dishes in the sink or brushing teeth, getting dressed, who is going to be the best behaved child at dinner, etc. It seems to work a lot better than getting angry, upset, yelling, reprimanding or punishing him for something. Last week I had an appointment that ran late and was trying to attend a San Tan Valley Chamber of Commerce Mixer when Paxton called saying that he didn't want to do his school work due the next day! My mom felt like she tried everything to get him to cooperate, and had about enough to let him call and reason with me. I reasoned with him on my car ride, offered for him to have a Reece's PB cup when he finished and to my avail no matter what I offered he was just not interested at all in doing his work. He said matter-of-factly that he would be able to do his work when he was 4. Which I reminded him was a little over a month away. He said he knew and that he could do it then. Well about 5 minutes into this pleading conversation I realized that maybe if he beat someone else to getting his homework done that he would be a little more interested. I got my mom on the phone and told her to make a copy of his worksheet and tell him that she bet he couldn't finish before her. It worked for that sheet, I also told her that if he completed the first sheet with her I would do the next sheet with him. That also worked and he "beat" me with it the next morning before school! Lesson learned, when homework comes home on a Monday and it is due on Friday, don't wait until Thursday to start it! Spread it out for the week, make it fun (in a way that your child is receptive). Don't do what doesn't work. If it works for someone else, it may not work for your child, if it works for one of your children it may not work for the other. Find what works, find what interests your child to do the things you want and need them to do. This will 9/10 avoid struggle. Personalize it! We are all different and we are all more receptive and coaxed to do things when we enjoy what we are doing. Good luck finding what works for you and your child! Remember it may take quite a few things tried before you find their receptive button! If you get a chance read this book, it may make a huge difference.