So this is my first Valentines Day without Steve. Steve and I never really made a huge deal out of Valentines. Maybe the first few years when we were dating, but just like most couples you fall into a routine of comfort and the chase subsides. He was very consistent on giving me a card and sometimes flowers and I know he spent a lot of time at the store trying to pick out a card that said just the right thing and he would always write something nice in it that reminded me how much he truly loved me… even when he didn’t do it on a daily basis with his words, his cards would say it all. I don’t remember ever not receiving a card except that one time we got in a huge fight around Valentine’s Day and honestly I can’t even remember what it was about, but I gave him a card and I didn’t receive one in return. A little over a year later I found a card in his truck that looked brand new and never written in. I asked him what that was from and he reminded me of how mad he was at me he never gave it to me.I seriously wish I remember what I did wrong, it doesn’t matter but it made me giggle because that year he gave me that same exact card, so apparently he forgot that one was in the truck but it stood out enough he bought it again. This year I didn’t receive my card, the flowers or the touch I truly miss. I did send someone else flowers to brighten their day, took Paxton to a mother/son Valentines lunch and I met a dear friend for a Galentine’s drink and I reflected on a 50 + year long relationship that had a bittersweet ending. It turned out to be a good day.
Love is
1. an intense feeling of deep affection.
2. a great interest and pleasure in something.
The Bible says 1 Corinthians 13:4–8a.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." Love never ends.
Over the past few weeks I have been able to experience a friend’s parents deep love for one another closer than I ever have before. Their relationship wasn't complicated because they put each other first and offered each other an unspoken respect. Sometimes simple is all we need to equal success. We often take relationships to the extreme complicating them with assumptions and outlandish expectations of one another, instead of focusing on the simple things and just leaning into our gut feelings, In most cases great sex probably helps too.
Sometimes a bond cannot be broken once established no matter what life throws your way. 50 + years of marriage there isn’t anything they wouldn’t do for one another. After knowing them for almost 24 years I have witnessed this love through the banter they had with one another, the laughter and kindness they displayed behind it and the open relationship they had with their kids. I have always enjoyed their presence when I was given the opportunity. I can tell you no matter the situation their love worked, so much so that when he passed away she followed him yesterday only 11 days later just in time for Valentine’s Day! Dying of a broken heart is a real thing! But their hearts are now mended and whole together again. I can’t think of a better example of true love. They leave behind a legacy with some pretty big shoes to fill, but with an easy example to follow.
This Valentine’s Day and everyday challenge yourself to love your partner unconditionally, respect your differences, be grateful for their love in return, stay interested, remember what attracted you in the first place, don’t assume what they are thinking, say what you need, don’t place ridiculous expectations on one another and truly enjoy each other’s company. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side it is greener where you water it. Keep it simple because love is just what 1 corinthians says and exactly what my friend’s parents displayed. And even though they leave behind a heartbroken bunch and were taken away far to early there is no denying they served their purpose and will live on in the hearts of those who love them and those that come after them.
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