So today marks eight months since Steve passed away. It also is National Widows Day. I honestly didn’t know there was such a thing, until I read it on 2 friends posts today, although I’m not surprised because they have a day to recognize everything.
I am kind of getting a little bit more used to that word, but as I have blogged before about how uncomfortable the word makes me, I am still not super fond of sharing my status with that of an ugly potentially deadly spider who eat the male after mating.
But whatever apparently we don’t have enough words in the English Language to come up with something different. Hence to, too and two. Don’t even get me started.
I just wrapped up an amazing weekend with my childhood bestie who wanted to come right after Steve died but I convinced her it would be better to come later when I would need her more. Not sure how I knew I would need her more later and not sure how it ended up perfect her timing was now.
The last month may have been significantly one of the most difficult times since Steve passed. Weird as it may sound to some who probably think things should be getting easier with time for me… I’m just trying to accept the journey for what it is, even when I don’t want to, even when it may seem unfair.
My weekend was full of of laughter and tears and today taking her to the airport I couldn’t help but tear up once again. But I am so grateful that she came and her timing couldn’t be better. She was here exactly when she needed to be. When you have shared a friendship for near 40 years you can’t help but feel the pain of each others experiences as much as you celebrate the good times. A life-long friendship like ours sustains even the distance after all these years. All is well with my soul. God has a hand in everything.
This morning I noticed a strong sense of olive smell in my fridge from the leftover pizza we had last night. I really didn’t think much of it when I reached for the milk for the goats. Late afternoon Paxton mentioned how his tea seemed warm. Reaching into the fridge I noticed the temp. I was off to the airport so didn’t do too much about it.
When I returned home from the airport everything was pretty much warm, the freezer drawer was defrosted the ice cream was liquid and the milk smelled sour. Not sure how this 4-5 year old fridge is having issues, my garage fridge is 20 years old and still going strong.
Pretty much having to throw out everything coupled with the sadness of my friend having to leave I may have broke down crying.
When another friend called to check on me I knew the timing was right. I can confirm that intuition is a powerful thing and am pretty confident God uses people to interject and connect us when He deems necessary.
Glad my friend called when he did as sometimes I just need a reminder or two that crying over spilled milk or having to throw out spoiled food will not change my circumstances. I have to focus on how I react to my circumstances and choose to look for the opportunity, and let it go.
In this case I am grateful I had the opportunity to purge my fridge and thoroughly clean every shelf and nook and cranny. Nothing more satisfying at 10 PM then a clean fridge that doesn’t work. LOL.
Also speaking of intuition since my normal go to for appliance repair retired I had to seek out someone with a recommendation. I never know who to ask sometimes but 3 people popped in my head and one responded with a number.
So here is to calling this repair man in the morning and my fridge being repaired easily and most cost effectively as possible.
Tonight I will give it to God and go to sleep because sometimes nothing is in my control and not worth building anxiety over. Tomorrow is another day filled with hope and promise.
As the old prayer goes.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. Reinhold Niebuhr
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