Flowers, Flowers and more Flowers

I love flowers, I always have. My dad bought me daisies every year on my birthday, until he passed and then my mom carried on that tradition until she passed and then Steve and Paxton took over then to make sure I got my flowers from my dad on my birthday. I am not sure if it is because of my dad or why I have such a love for flowers. Something about them is serene and cheerful and just pretty.  I like the look, the smell and the pure joy of having them in my kitchen.When Steve and I first lived together until Paxton came along, I bought flowers for our house (for myself! LOL) almost every week religiously unless they lasted longer. 

I loved picking out the expensive stems, at this wholesale florist on Baseline in Phoenix or at AJs Fine Foods where you could buy them by the stem. I liked the unique ones and loved putting together an arrangement on my own. Bird of Paradise goes good with Ginger stems, bright colorful Gerber Daisies are another favorite, A bunch of solid colored Gladiolous were another favorite, sometimes purple and sometimes bright red, I love Hydrengas as well. I didn't often combine a bouqet I like the simplicity of one type of flower and maybe some fun greens. In the fall it is fun to do yellows/reds and rust colored arrangements with some harvest like filler, tulips or daffodils in the spring! There was really never an occassion I just loved to have them. When we fell on some hard times financially in 2008 and beyond and when Paxton came along I didn't buy them very often anymore. I needed to focus my earnings on more essential things. In 2014 we moved to Florence and there is a local Safeway closeby. They have great prices of flowers from $3.99 - $9.99 for a bunch of mums or tulips or daises, or glads, or sunflowers during different seasons. These were a lot cheaper than the ones I paid that and beyond for each stem! I decided that my flower fetish could continue and would often buy something when I got groceries to brighten up my kitchen and my attitude! There is just something about looking at and enjoying them that could turn any attitude into a positive thought. 

Fast forward to the last month. After Steve's hospitalization, death and funeral, the flowers and plants poured in. I wished I would have taken a photo of the overall look of my kitchen and living room. I really felt like a florist shop inside my house, NO to be honest, it reminded me of a funeral home. There was a point a few weeks ago that I just had the burning feeling that I wanted to pick up everyone of the beautiful arrangements and throw them at a wall and watch them shatter into pieces. Obviously that is ridiculous and I would never actually do it but I sure thought about it, I don't know that it would have really made me feel better. Thinking about it most people's first thought is to send flowers to brighten someone's day. But if you actually think about how ironic it is that you send someone something that dies to sooth them because of a death... it just seems like a bizarre twist of irony that is hard to comprehend. Maybe that is why we don't often ask why about the traditions of things that people just do and we don't even know or understand the origin.  With this said I threw away my last arrangement of flowers  yesterday because it had finally looked pitiful enough to toss.( I still have the plants- wish me luck on keeping those alive, I am not the green thumb Steve was) I caught myself pondering this morning about getting flowers when I went grocery shopping next- a complete 360 from a few weeks ago when the site of flowers made me angry and I just wanted them all gone from my home. I didn;t make it to the store today - I vowed not to leave my house until every thank you card was finally written so I could move onto my next project-  but this afternoon at my door showed up the Arizona Flower Girl- Megan Wright with a vase full of beautiful flowers from an anynomous friend. So I take this as my anynomous friend's intuition that Steve was urging them to send me flowers to brighten my day and put a huge smile on my face. There are signs everywhere that he is near, no matter how far and I appreciate the people he will reach out to even when they don't know it. 

Isaiah 41:10

So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.