DAY 90.

So when the things you are looking forward to don't happen to go your way, sometimes it is hard to figure out the why can't I have... but I guess feeling sorry for oneself or getting upset doesn't really make you feel better or get what it is that we wanted, so why do we do it? Who knows. It seems logical at the time to throw a fit, to cry, to get upset perhaps even yell at someone, but in reality it is a show that tricks us into thinking that we will be satisfied by our tantrum, no matter how big or small. Life doesn't always agree with our wants, sometimes God has other things planned for us, and the hardest thing is to accept that, move on and be happy with what we have and get. Take for instance the land that we have dreamed of building a house on for 5 years now, the fantastic home with 5 acres, horses, and room for our toys, that of which is no longer feasible, or the Nook that I wanted for Christmas this year- $250 for the color... amazing little contraption.... that no, I don't NEED, but as far as Christmas Lists go, I don't usually have such a big thing that I am desiring... throw the fact that our printer/fax/copy/scanner went out about a month ago and we have tried everything to trouble shoot it with no luck- so what is it that I NEED for Christmas.... LOL! Then I thought wouldn't it be nice to get my nails done for the Holidays... it has been a couple years and I thought wouldn't it make me feel great and pretty to have something professional and attractive to sport, but then we are faced with some car repairs and dental expenses and I think to myself- put that idea behind for now. I will chalk it up as perhaps I would just get spoiled and want to keep them so I will just look at it as best not to get them at all, too much of a teaser. Well, I think I have had enough of a pity party for one day. Maybe it is out of my system now that I can put this in writing. Perhaps the wants are just not meant to be at this time.
So I have to sit back and be thankful for what I do have, to cherish what means the most, to let the trivial luxuries pass me by and delve into the hopes of my family and friends. The health and happiness of those I love, the little boy who inspires me to give and get the most out of my life, for my family and friends who support my dreams, the husband who puts up with and loves me, even when I have the "crazies" and continues to come home to me every night and blesses me with his humor and support, for a mom that can never say know and is proud of me and all of my accomplishments even when I fail.
For days like today when I can wake up, hurt back, female issues and a stuffed up nose and still be able to say that I am grateful for this day, for the extra rest that I deserve, for one extra day to be home with my beautiful baby, to enjoy his smile, his laugh and even his little stubborn streak.
God does truly bless me every day of my life and for that I am grateful to be alive.

Rejoice evermore...In everything give thanks: for this is the will of God. - 1 Thessalonians 5:16,18 KJV