Grateful. I woke up grateful I had dream, so I know I was in a deeper sleep than I’ve been for quite a long time. I only remember dreaming a time or two since Steve passing - my dream was about a soccer game I have no clue what that meant but that’s all I really remember. Soccer!! I have no clue because it’s not a game I follow, like or have any interest in.
I woke up today with a heart of gratitude. Gratitude that I have a different life than my mom did when my dad passed away. I may be close to the same age my mom was when my dad died, and Paxton may be close to the same age I was when my dad died, however I am extremely grateful that our situations are not the same. My mom was a waitress her and my dad never really made very much money. Although somehow I never seemed to want for anything. She waitressed and got her real estate license when my dad passed away to keep me in the same house I grew up in. I technically own my own business am relatively successful by my own standards and make a decent living- Steve’s income will be missed but not make a huge impact on our life. We have never really lived outside our means or in a lot of debt. I actually woke up feeling very grateful and blessed for my situation despite my loss and compared to what my mom had to do. She worked so hard and I barely saw her, but she did it putting me first. I can make my own schedule and I am established enough to not have to make all the same sacrifices she had to.
Today was a day that Steve’s friends and family were going to come together and create a vision in our orchard that Steve foresaw. One of the very last projects he hadn’t quite finished.
Their idea to pitch in and make a completion to my backyard oasis is more than I can possibly express my gratitude for. As I write with the tears rolling down… I am truly overwhelmed with the support that we are continuing to be given by the people who love us so much, those who love Steve.
It says a lot about my character and about the kind of life that I have lived to be given so much love when you need it the most. Paxton and I are truly blessed and grateful for our community.
I don’t think I can express, nor do I think those that help us can comprehend how truly grateful that we are and how much it truly means to us for what some may consider a simple gesture has truly been a huge blessing. This completion of our backyard oasis I anticipate will give us years of joy, love, memories, tears, happiness and fulfillment. And I am sure Steve is happy to know we have such an army of people caring for us in his absence.
My heart is full tonight, blessed, humbled and inspired by the love that surrounds us.
The best thing to do when you find yourself in a hurting or vulnerable place is to surround yourself with the strongest, finest, most positive people you know. Kristin Armstrong
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