Day 15 of 365

Today I am especially grateful for my mother, who would really do anything for me! She has helped me get to the place where I am today and has helped shape me into the loving, caring person that I am.
It has been almost 17 years this weekend that my dad passed away after having lived with "known" cancer for a short few months. It was the first week of my freshman year in high school. My mom at the age of 45 turned her world upside down to become a new person, one who had the sole responsibility and goal of raising me in the home I grew up in and taking whatever means possible to make sure I was raised with the vision my dad and her shared for me. She wanted to keep things as normal for me as she could. I sure knew what was going on, but I don't think I quite grasped all the sacrifices that she made for me, or really appreciated what she did then as much as I do now at 30+ years old.
I was able to have the things I may not have if she would have remained doing what she did when my dad was alive, or if she crumbled and fell apart in front of me. I am proud to be her daughter, proud of what she accomplished and proud of how I turned out despite my obstacles, disappointments, and fears.
I had a choice, we all have a choice, we can chose to be a victim or we can chose to be a success. I could have easily wallowed in my grief, became part of the wrong crowd, made unhealthy choices and made myself into that victim that everyone feels sorry for.
How many times have we heard- oh she is that way because she had a hard life, or she did that because she was depressed or you can't blame her didn't you know what she has been through?
We are all in control of our own selves, we make our own choices, and we create our own future. We can choose to be self-destructive or a self-motivator. We can chose that right or wrong path.
Don't get me wrong depression, grief, chemical imbalances, I get all that, they do exist- but we are the one who gets to choose to recognize and get help for our problems and get better or blame our attitude and our behaviors on our circumstances and set down the self-destructive path.
I think sometimes we simply play victim because self-pity is much easier than dealing with our issues. I believe that self-pity, depression and victimization take a lot more energy and time out of a person than facing the problem head on.
The saying goes "there is nothing that will happen to me today that God and I cannot handle together."
My mother was there to comfort me in times of need, to stand up for what she believed was right for me, to encourage me to do my best and not hold me back from my aspirations, my mother continues to be there for me every day even now and for that I am especially grateful.